Attn: Royal, on About Schmidt

[Sethomas]

I must preface this by saying that I am by no means a film critic, but I'm not a total ignoramus either. For what it's worth, half my favorite movies are not in English. Take that however you will.

That being said, I recall reading recently that you quite enjoyed "About Schmidt". For me, this begs a certain question: What in the holy name of GOD FUCKING JESUS is the matter with you? I sat through the entire film. I caught on to what the makers were trying to do and convey with the film. My humble opinion? IT FUCKING SUCKED. IT BROKE NEW BARRIERS OF SUCK AND REDEFINED THE MEANING OF SUCK. And the entire time I watched it, I realized that a whole breed of aspiring pretentious film majors would cling to its every moment of it because it flamboyantly and masturbatorily flaunts a few devices of good film making. JUST BECAUSE A FILM FAILS IN YOUR AGE DEMOGRAPHIC DOESN'T MEAN IT'S GOOD. From a technical perspective: it was done poorly. From a base perspective: there was never any reason to keep watching it moment after moment, and yet I did because I thought it might better me as a person.

Back in January I went into the Paris Virgin Megastore, and to my surprise I saw an absurd quantity of dvds of "Monsieur Schmidt". That made me think, FRANCE, YOU ARE FUCKING STUPID FOR HAVING FALLEN FOR THIS RUSE.

The emperor is REALLY FUCKING NAKED AND HIS BALLS ARE SHRINKING FROM THE COLD.

GyeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaahHhhhh

FUCK