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The One and Only... · #1

Give me advice.

This does not apply to any one specific person, but is rather a general thing.

The best thing I've been able to come up with is to try my luck with a completely different crowd and get stoned. That's it. So help me out.

MetalMilitia · #2

damn i was hopeing this was an 'OAO gives advice thread' that would have been brilliant.

Anway, getting stoned isn't cool. neither is smoking or wearign a hat in the backwards fasion.

My advice is wear a fake mustache, it would make you look like a german porn star.

Big McLargehuge · #3

DONT LISTEN TO HIM, GETTING STONED IS WAY COOL.

AND SO IS SMOKING CIGARETTES.

but not backwards hats.

maggiekarp · #4

Don't take yourself so seriously and don't get caught sniffing girls' panties. Pot is okay every now and again, but don't think that because people lied and said your lungs will explode as soon as you smoke it, doesn't mean that isn't true with other drugs. THere's no simple answer to how to get chicks, either. It takes time and experience, sometimes.

I also recomend the fake mustache

Command Prompt · #5

Go get a job where your in a position to possibly be walked over alot. You'll either develop a sense of humor and learn how to cope with life in no time, or you'll hang yourself. Either way you'll be better off. Here's some suggestions based on jobs I've had, where giving shit back to customers and co-workers is not only required for survival but integral to a productive work environment!

-Bartender
-Beer Vendor
-Airport Security Guard
-Manual Labour (Warehouses, Distribution Centres, Tree Planting)
-Construction/Tradesperson
-Walmart Worker Bee

Try and remember, people treating you like shit is a unavoidable part of life. Theres a variety of reasons for doing it, most of the time its to see how much of a push over you are. No one likes a fucking wussy! Bill Gates is the richest person on the planet, and everyone still makes fun of what a dork he is and wonders just how hot his wife is.

And as for using intelligence to get girls, fucking forget that. Girls will always fall for the wrong guy, no matter what. No matter how smart and how rich and how successful you are they will always fuck the pool boy.

Learn to play an instrument. Not only do rock stars get laid all the time, you'll be more interested in your music, instead of girls, which will make them want you even more.

The One and Only... · #6

Why not just grow a real mustache?

Command Prompt · #7

Please don't. Even if you could, I wouldn't recommend it.

maggiekarp · #8

We don't think you're man enough for a real mustache, yet

Or you could always rip it off and go "HA!" and run off into the night... or something.

adept_ninja · #9

try to get some girls as just friends they can hook you up somtimes

The One and Only... · #10

I have couple, but so far, no hook-ups.

Although honestly, I think I really need to learn how to drive...

The One and Only... · #11

Oh, and I thought about going with a goatee, but that takes too much time and is probably more difficult to work with than is really worth it.

The Damp Moose · #12

I suggest suicide!

Helm · #13

Are you looking for advice to get girls or for advice to be a better person? If the former, I don't have anything for you. For the latter, try to control your emotions more, try to understand yourself and other human beings more and get a cat.

CaptainBubba · #14

Understand the following OAO:

You will always fail to impress people with the way you talk and think alone.

Zomboid · #15

CB, that is some sound advice.

Brandon · #16

I want you to start talking about laissez-faire capitalism again.

Helm · #17

Yes, me too.

mischief · #18

command prompt gave the best advice, i think.

maybe you should go on xtreme makeover and they can make you look like an abercrombie model. then you'll have no choice but to be an asshole to everyone else. then girls will love you.

WhiteRat · #19

Lower your standards!

I had a friend in high school who had money and was a nice guy, but he looked like he could of been captain of the Goof Troop. He always went after girls that were leagues of above him with no luck.

So my advice is to...wait, my buddy actually did end up nailing a hottie. He lured her to him with his nice cars and cash. So actually my advice is to get loads of cash otherwise you're gonna be beatin' your meat from here till eternity.

kellychaos · #20

Mith your fencing skills and a fake mustache, you could be the modern version of Erol Flynn. You have some leotards handy. :swashbuckler

Command Prompt · #21

Yeah, fuck my old advice, after that cartoon, I fully recommend you grow a mustache.

Anonymous · #22

Preferably one of those lame high school 'hair-lip' mustaches that look disgusting.

FS · #23

Ha ha, I had a guy in my class two years ago who had one of those, with the obviously never-shaved silky black hairs.

He also had long frizzy, curly hair yanked into a tight ponytail and was crazy about anime, so I guess his chances at getting laid equal OAO's.

adept_ninja · #24

Quote:

Originally Posted by FS

Ha ha, I had a guy in my class two years ago who had one of those, with the obviously never-shaved silky black hairs.

He also had long frizzy, curly hair yanked into a tight ponytail and was crazy about anime, so I guess his chances at getting laid equal OAO's.

I donno man in my school ugly people get hooked up big time. Theyre is this fucker that wears a cape and writes poetry and he has hot chicks all over him. Its ok because I make fun of him all the time we call him "chris lord of darkness"