Upgrading a Kicking to a Murder

[MetalMilitia]

Basically I know this guy and he a complete shit with absolutely no redeeming qualities. To top it off he insists on upsetting my girlfriend all the time by shouting abuse at her. There is a whole long back story behind it all but I really can't be arsed going through it. Suffice to say he deserves everything he has coming to him.

Anyway here is the problem, it's at the stage now that I'm about ready to kick the shit out of him the next time I see him, only thing is he's like 5' tall and about 10 stone. He's like a cross between a stick insect and a child. I on the other hand am 6'2" and 16 stone.

If I do engage him in a fierce melee it's going to be like taking candy from a baby... then scissor kicking the baby in the kidneys. In fact I'm actually worried that a single punch could seriously injure him just because he's so frail and wimpy. I mean I'm all up for giving him a good beating but I don't want to hospitalise him.
I would rather not end up in prison over this whole thing so what should I do? How easy is it to accidentally murder someone?

[Emu]

Just deck him once so he goes down. No need to draw it out.

Also, I can't find 'stone' on my metric conversion chart.

[Perndog]

That's because stone is in the British system with feet and inches and stuff.

Hit him in the gut, not the face, and don't do it too hard. Unless you seriously nail him and rupture his appendix, you shouldn't be able to cause real damage there with one hit. But it'll lay him out from the pain.

[Dr. Boogie]

You've already warned him that you're going to beat him the next time he messes with your girlfriend, right?

[MetalMilitia]

Of course, I told him if he so much as looked at her again I'd beat the living shit out of him.

He's really vendictive and a downright horrible person. If you can believe it my girlfriend actually saved his life when he attempted to commity suicide and then gave him a home for over a month. It all ended when we began to see what he was really like and asked him to leave. After that he went off on some soap opera-esc campaign of trying to royally fuck us off... needless to say it worked.

I've just had enough of his shit and can't think of another way of getting though to him.

[Sethomas]

I know jack shit about fighting, but logistically I second the blow to the abdomen bit. The main reason is that you could punch him really hard in the head and he'd be fine after a few days, but it's dangerous because if he loses his balance he could hit his head on a hard surface and you'd be liable for severe head trauma which may include death. It's highly unlikely this would happen, but it's happened before and is not far-fetched. Besides, a facial blow would leave visible bruising which wouldn't bode well amongst the civil folk if he were to register a complaint.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

the front of the head can take quite a bit of punishment, whereas the back of the head cannot. You can get in several stikes to the face and head area without causing permanent damage, but stay away from the the back of the head.
Also, it only takes about 11 pounds of pressure to remove an ear, so if you have to, you can rip his ear off and hand it to him, without exerting yourself or breaking a sweat.
Of course, there's always the humiliation factor. Go to your local farmers co-op and pick up a cattle prod, then use your imagination. It's great fun to hear men squeal while you're zapping them with the prod.....after a couple of jolts, a well placed jab and a finishing punch to the jaw area will complete your lesson in violence. I doubt that after all of that, he'll be pestering your girlfriend.

[Perndog]

Pepper spray is a good option, too. Tons of pain, no lasting damage.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

oh, yeah....I forgot about pepper spray. If you want to see them cry like a woman and mass produce snot out out of evey hole in their head, go for the pepper spray.

[GADZOOKS]

If you have high coat hangers around, pick him up and hang him on one, leaving him the dangle like a wimp. You will exercise your strength without murdering him and humiliate him a whole bunch. The worse that could happen then is that he will attack you and then you can clobber him all you like.

See the ending of Home Alone for more details. It's very effective.

[Cfr5]

But then you'd have to watch out for shovels.

[WhiteRat]

Grind up glass to a fine powder and put it in each of his meals over the course of a few months.

I saw it on Oz once and it worked so it has to be true.

[Matt Harty]

Put a rake in his path, that way when he steps on it it'll spring up and whack him in the face!

[noob3]

tell your girlfriend to "seduce" him and when they are about to "fuck" walk in and be like "WHAT THE FUCK?" and stab him once or twice in the back man that should fuck him up good and if your girlfriend are good and close you can say he was gonna start raping her

if anything he won't come around any more :o

[DuFresne]

If you do that, be sure to punch her in the cunt a few times. Police like evidence of a struggle.

[Jeanette X]

Originally Posted by MetalMilitia

Basically I know this guy and he a complete shit with absolutely no redeeming qualities. To top it off he insists on upsetting my girlfriend all the time by shouting abuse at her. There is a whole long back story behind it all but I really can't be arsed going through it. Suffice to say he deserves everything he has coming to him.

Anyway here is the problem, it's at the stage now that I'm about ready to kick the shit out of him the next time I see him, only thing is he's like 5' tall and about 10 stone. He's like a cross between a stick insect and a child. I on the other hand am 6'2" and 16 stone.

If I do engage him in a fierce melee it's going to be like taking candy from a baby... then scissor kicking the baby in the kidneys. In fact I'm actually worried that a single punch could seriously injure him just because he's so frail and wimpy. I mean I'm all up for giving him a good beating but I don't want to hospitalise him.
I would rather not end up in prison over this whole thing so what should I do? How easy is it to accidentally murder someone?

*bump*

So what did you do to the prick? I'd like to know the rest of this story.

[CaptainBubba]

Use your words

[CaptainBubba]

because violence is not the answer

[Terra]

I always look forward to Bubba's posts

[MetalMilitia]

Pretty big anticlimax to be honest. Last I heard he'd left town to go to university (for the 3rd time FYI, each time he's been he's dropped out within the first year because he basically fails at life). Either way I haven't seen him since I made the first post which seems to be working out OK for both of us.

I hope he tried to kill himself, and succeeded this time.

[Cfr5]

Third time? Hehe. That reminds me: in the high school I went to, there was this douche who wrote an article for the school paper. It started out with "In my seven years at this high school". If I recall correctly, he finally gave up a year after that.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

Originally Posted by CaptainBubba

because violence is not the answer

when diplomacy fails, what else is left? Violence and force.

[Jeanette X]

Originally Posted by MetalMilitia

Pretty big anticlimax to be honest. Last I heard he'd left town to go to university (for the 3rd time FYI, each time he's been he's dropped out within the first year because he basically fails at life). Either way I haven't seen him since I made the first post which seems to be working out OK for both of us.

I hope he tried to kill himself, and succeeded this time.

Do they have restraining orders in Britian? You could maybe get one of those if he starts to bother her again in the future.