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  #76  
WhiteRat WhiteRat is offline
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Old Jan 5th, 2010, 01:12 PM       
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Old Jan 5th, 2010, 01:54 PM       
National drink a steel reserve day is coming in soon too.
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Old Jan 5th, 2010, 02:07 PM       
I used to drink a tall six pack every night. My brother wondered how I could stand up after that. I had no idea it was Malt
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Old Jan 5th, 2010, 02:58 PM       
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OH GAWWWWWWWWD

That shit had me write the most incoherent hate letter to an ex over the summer. I woke up the next day and I had completely forgotten that I did it. When I saw what I wrote I couldn't stop laughing at my own stupidity
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Old Jan 5th, 2010, 06:00 PM       
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I used to drink a tall six pack every night. My brother wondered how I could stand up after that. I had no idea it was Malt
You were infused with HIGH GRAVITY
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Old Jan 5th, 2010, 07:08 PM       
Steel Reserve is the only alcohol I have ever seen to get my sig other downright lobotomy drunk. As in, shuffling around, creepy Private Pyle stare, then puking on every available surface.

We didn't do that again. That's some scary shit, to do that to a 6-and-a-half-foot giant.
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Old Jan 6th, 2010, 03:17 AM       
time for my favorite / least favorite drunk story regarding myself, which i may or may not have told on this board before:

my friend chris' family owns a cabin up in vermont and every winter he grabs a handful of friends to stay there for about a week and just party all week. three years ago was my first time going and with me i brought my girlfriend of the time, sandra, and our friend kayla. the week is going great, drinking every night, taking a trip into canada, listening to metal at absurd volumes; what better to do in the middle of the woods?

finally it is our last night there and i make the horrible decision of smoking a lot of pot along with playing kings and flip cup. needless to say i was horribly fucked up and don't remember much of the night except for one thing, another very very horrible decision. me and another friend on the trip, keith, start listening to killswitch engage extremely loudly and start dancing around the room, acting like absolute retards. we get through about half the album and we're both out of breath from jumping off of couches, onto eachother, etc. (gay bro shit). after this i don't remember anything except for waking up the next morning.

sleeping arrangements: a few people in the living room on the couch, couple people in the den, sandra and kayla in the king size bed with me in the same room sleeping on a fold out at the end of their bed. when i woke up the next morning no one was in the room. i walk into the kitchen and look into the living room to see everyone staring at me. i walk towards them and say "good morning?" and immediately kayla says to me "do you remember ANYTHING from last night?" i tell her that i remember going to bed at some point but that's it. her and sandra then proceed to tell me this:

i went to sleep on my fold out, they went to sleep on the bed. about an hour into my sleep i get up, pull down my boxers and begin peeing on the nightstand next to kayla's side of the bed. kayla wakes up and begins yelling at me. at this point i attempt getting into bed with her, still peeing, and apparently make it in (or at least my pee made it into the bed). sandra wakes up and also starts yelling at me while i fight with kayla to try to get into bed with her. eventually i stop and go right back onto the fold out and pass right out.

after this is told to me they bring me to the washer and dryer, where the nightstand cover, their pillow cases, and chris' parents' sheets and comforters are being washed. i am stunned. i apologize ten-fold and feel absolutely horrible while all my other guy friends there laugh hysterically because they didn't know about any of this until they woke up that morning

the worst part is, the next year we went back, and on the last night i woke up shortly after falling asleep and stood in the doorway proclaiming that i needed to pee and whoever was in the bathroom needed to get out or i was going to pee all over the carpet. the bathroom is a step away from the bedroom doorway and the door was wide open with the light off. eventually everyone convinced me that no one was in there and rest assured my pee ended up in the toilet where it belonged. however, when i woke up the next morning my friend mike first tried to tell me i was threatening to pee on him all night, which turned out to be a lie.

so, yeah. that's my prize story. any takers?
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Last edited by bigtimecow : Jan 6th, 2010 at 03:19 AM. Reason: spelling
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  #83  
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Old Jan 6th, 2010, 11:08 AM       
Man, I thought you were going to bang your friend next to your passed out girlfriend.
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Old Jan 6th, 2010, 11:50 AM       
apparently i thought so too
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Old Jan 6th, 2010, 05:02 PM       
There is always next time buddy. Don't mess it up again.
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Old Jan 16th, 2010, 01:51 PM       
So I was talking to my new gf, forgot when I met her I accidently told her I hooked up with this one random guy at this bar like a year ago. She was talking to her best guy friend last week and it ended up being him.

She was just kind of like "Is it going to be weird if we all hang out together?" Frankly it doesn't bother me but its just ridiculous.
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  #87  
Kitsa Kitsa is offline
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Old Jan 16th, 2010, 02:13 PM       
Sounds like it could be awkward at times.
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Old Jan 16th, 2010, 03:28 PM       
DRINKING STORIES:
MY NINTEENTH BIRTHDAY. IVE PROBABLY TOLD THIS STORY MAYBE :

OKAY SO LIKE THERE I AM HAVING RECENTLY TURNED 19, WHAT BETTER WAY TO SPEND MY DAY THEN GOING AND HANGING OUT WITH MY FRIEND. I SPENT THE NIGHT DRINKING AND WOKE UP IN THE MORNING AND POLISHED OFF THE LAST OF THE BOTTLES. AND THEN I DECIDED I SHOULD GO BY THIS PERSONS PLACE WHO OFFERED TO SMOKE ME OUT.
HOWEVER THEY WERENT THERE. SEEING AS HOW IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY I DECIDED IT WOULD BE OKAY IF I ENTERED THEIR BACKYARD AND WENT THROUGH THEIR SLIDING GLASSS DOOR WHICH THEY LEFT OPOEN CAUSE THEYRE DUMB. WE PROCEEDED TO ENTER THE HOUSE AND THE FAT DUDE (WHOS NOT THE FRIEND I WENT TO HANG OUT WITH BUT WHO TAGGED ALONG) IMMEDIATELY GOES TO THE GIRL OF THE HOUSE'S ROOM AND LOOKS THROUGH THEIR UNDERWEAR CAUSE HES FAT AND HAS SOMETIMES BEEN KNOWN AS THE PINK PANTIED PANTHER CAUSE HE WORE PINK PANTIES ONE TIME AND HES FAT AND MY FRIEND SAW THEM ALSO THE NIGHT BEFORE MY FRIEND WHOS NOT FAT/A PINK PANTIED PANTHER FOUND A NOTE (WHICH IM PRETTY SURE MY NONPINKPANTIEDPANTHERFRIEND WROTE) WHICH SAID, "WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THEM PINK PANTIES?"
ANYWAY SO THERE WE ARE INSIDE THEIR HOUSE WITH THAT DUDE RAIDING HER UNDERWEAR AND IM TRYING TO SEE IF THE GIRL IS THERE SO SHELL SMOKE ME OUT BUT SHES NOT. SO IM FUCKING IRRATE NOW AND AFTER WE PULL THE FAT DUDE AWAY FROM THE PANTIES AND GO DOWNSTAIRS WE FIND THIS GINORMOUSISH LIQUOR CABINET. HOWEVER THE LIQUOR CABINET WAS LOCKED BUT LUCKILY I USED TO HAVE THESE BOOTS THAT COULD PICK LIKE ANY LOCK PRACTICALLY SOMEHOW SO I KICKED THROUGH THE GLASS AND UNLOCKED IT ON THE OTHER SIDE AND OPENED IT AND WE STOLE LIKE EVERY BOTTLE OF BOOZE THAT WAS WORTH STEALING. WE WALKED DOWN THE STREET WITH BOTTLES OF BOOZE HANGING OUT OF ALL OF OUR POCKETS AND LINING OUR WAIST LINE.
LUCKILY MY HOUSE WAS AROUND THERE SO I STOPPED AND ASKED MY SISTER FOR A BACKPACK AND SHE GAVE ME HER PURPLE BACKPACK AND NOTICED ALL THE BOOZE AND LUCKILY NEVER SOLD ME OUT (THATS WHAT REAL SISTERS ARE LIKE STUPID FACEBOOKDICKHITLISTGIRL). SO NOW THE BOOZE IS MOSTLY NOT IN OUR POCKETS/WAIST LINE EXCEPT FOR SOME THAT WOULDNT FIT IN THE BACKPACK. WE DECIDE TO GO THIS NEARBY RAVENE TYPE PLACE TO STASH THE BOOZE WE COULDNT CARRY.
WHILE WERE AT THE PARK THERES THIS DUDE SMOKING SOME WEED WITH SOME GIRLS AND I WANTED TO GET STONED PRETTY BAD SO WE APPROACH HIM AND CHIT CHAT AND ASK HIM IF HE WOULD LIKE TO TRADE SOME LIQUOR FOR WEED. EVERYTHING IS GOING FINE AND WE'RE ALL GETTING ALONG AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN HE LIKE GETS THIS CRAZED PUPPYDOG LOOK LIKE HES GONNA GET REVENGE ON A KITTEN THATS BEEN PICKING ON IT OR SOME SHIT AND HE JUST LIKE JUMPS IN THE CAR AND IS LIKE LEAVE US ALONE SO WE DO AND THEY LEAVE SHORTLY THEREAFTER.
SOME OTHER JERKOFFS SHOW UP WHO MY FAT FRIEND KNEW AND THEY WERE ACTING LIKE BITCHES CAUSE I GUESS THEY HAD GOTTEN IN A FIGHT RECENTLY. ANYWAY BASICALLY MY FAT FRIEND SENT THEM OFF IN THE SAME WAY I SENT OFF THE LIQUOR CABINET
ANYWAY SO THE INITIAL DUDE WHO HAD THE WEED COMES TROTTING AROUND THE CORNER TO THE RAVINE WITH SOME OTHER DUDE. KEEP IN MIND THIS GUY HAD DRIVEN OFF AND NOW HE COMES WALKING BACK WITH SOME GUY WHOS HOLDING A BASEBALL BAT BEHIND HIS BACK TRYING TO BE ALL SNEAKY AND SHIT. SO THEY GET ALL CLOSE AND THEYRE LIKE,
"WHY WERE YOU BUGGING MY FRIEND?"
"WE WANTED TO SEE IF HE WANTED TO TRADE BOOZE F OR WEED"
THEN THEY SAID A BUNCH OF ASSHOLISH SHIT LIKE THEY WERE TOUGH GUYS AND WE WERE LIKE, "DUDE WE JUST WANTED TO TRADE SOME BOOZE FOR WEED, YOU GUYS WERE ACTING COOL ABOUT IT THEN ACTED ALL CRAZY. IF YOU DONT WANT TO TRADE GO AWAY"
THEN THEY STARTED SAYING SOME SHIT ABOUT WHY THEY LEFT AND ACTED ALL RETARDED SURPRISED ABOUT THE BOOZE THING SO THEY ASKED TO SEE THE BOOZE. WE OPENED THE BACKPACK AND THE DUDE WITH THE BASEBALL BAT WAS LIKE, "GIVE ME THE BACKPACK"
AT THIS POINT HE LIFTS UP HIS SHIRT AND HES PACKING! HE SERIOUSLY HAD A GUN! HE WAS TELLING US TO GIVE HIM THE BOOZE AND HE KEPT SAYING IT OVER AND OVER. YOU CAN ONLY IMAGINE THE THOUGHTS GOING THROUGH OUR MIND!

Spoilers!


ANYWAY WE DIDNT GIVE THEM THE BOOZE AND THEY ENDED UP SMOKING US OUT IN EXCHANGE FOR AN OPENED BOTTLE OF WINE TO SHARE WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND ON THEIR NEXT ROMANTIC GET AWAY

BEST BIRTHDAY EVER.
I USED TO BE A JERK

THE FRIENDS WHOS LIQUOR CABINET I JACKED DIDNT CARE BECAUSE THEY HATED THE LADY/DUDE WHOS LIQUOR CABINET IT WAS (STEP MOM/HER NEW BOYFRIEND) AND I FIGURE I JUST HELPED HER KICK A BAD D RINKING HABIT.
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  #89  
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Old Jan 16th, 2010, 04:00 PM       
I was thinking you were going to give them the booze then call the cops on them for theft/breaking/entering.
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  #90  
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Old Jan 16th, 2010, 04:02 PM       
i had to css text-transform: lowercase that story in order to read it

but lol
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  #91  
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Old Jan 16th, 2010, 08:52 PM       
yea i prolly shouldnt have typed it in all caps ;/
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Old Jan 17th, 2010, 03:16 AM       
oh and yesterday i had long trail it was awesome
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Old Jan 17th, 2010, 10:00 AM       
I never had any good drunk stories. I just fall asleep.

I do have one about a great-aunt of mine who used to go around tanked all the time, at least from what I've been told. She showed up at my grandmother's house one time late at night drunk as hell, in a nightgown, in a floor length fur coat with a little dog under each arm and her pockets stuffed full of valuables. When my grandmother opened the door, my great-aunt said, "My house is burning down, I need to stay here for a while."

After my grandmother let her in and spent a couple of hours assuming that she was having some sort of alcoholic hallucination, people finally started calling her house trying to track down the aunt. Turned out that her house was really burning down and she must have just put on her coat, grabbed her dogs, turned around and walked off. They thought she'd died in the fire.
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Old Jan 17th, 2010, 10:12 AM       
So I was out enjoying myself last night, and while I was dancing a drunk pushed me over and I twisted my ankle. Thanks drunk people.
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Old Jan 18th, 2010, 06:39 PM       
Several years ago my friends and I went to a playground behind a church to get inhumanly drunk and play on the swings. The church bus was parked nearby. It was a renovated schoolbus, so the doors were easily pushed open. We used the back as a urinal. Eventually my friends decided to pants me, underwear and all. They took my undies and tied them to the bus's side mirror. One of them wanted donuts, so they jumped in the car and went to the donut shop, leaving me to wander around half naked behind a church in the middle of the night. Luckily, I found my pants and put them on before the cop showed up. Someone had called the cops and reported a drunk person wandering around behind the church. I remember falling backwards on my ass as the cop shined his light on me. Meanwhile at the donut shop...

My friend Marc decided to flirt with the girl behind the counter. Always the king of smooth, he said "hey, can I have your number?" and immediately puked all over the counter. Making a swift exit, they got back in the car and returned to the church to find me and the cop. Thinking quickly, they explained that I had just left the bar across the parking lot and called them for a ride home. I wandered around because I was simply waiting for them to show up. The cop let us all go, and I got in the backseat. Unfortunately the motion of the car made me have to puke. I couldn't roll down the window in time, so I puked in Marc's lap, causing him to puke again. The next day, I realized I lost my keys in the playground. So it was back to the church in the morning, searching the sand for my keys while horribly hungover, as well-dressed people entered the building for morning services. I never found them, but at least I didn't spend the day cleaning vomit out of my friend's car.
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Old Jan 19th, 2010, 06:54 PM       
my mom gave me an old tankard mug that used to be my dad's. it has his initials etched into it. and is straight balla

looks like this, minus the guiness logo



and i'm feeling up to boston lager. i had some beer bread the other day that was made with it and it was derishus
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Old Jan 20th, 2010, 01:17 AM       



TRY THIS BEER IF YOU LIKE HOPS
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Old Jan 20th, 2010, 01:44 AM       
yea my friend bought that and it wasn't worth the 12 dollars he paid for it. oh wait maybe that's a different one ;/
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Old Jan 20th, 2010, 03:12 AM       
WHY HELLO NINJAVENOM HOW NICE OF YOU TO JOIN THE UNIVERSE
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Old Jan 20th, 2010, 11:22 AM       
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my mom gave me an old tankard mug that used to be my dad's. it has his initials etched into it. and is straight balla

looks like this, minus the guiness logo



and i'm feeling up to boston lager. i had some beer bread the other day that was made with it and it was derishus
That's a badass heirloom. My dad has the Thompson family keg-orator he's going to pass down. I just need to get a house first.
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