I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[Asila]

It saddens me a little when I realize that there's enough emotion involved on my part for me to miss someone. So

Guys, maybe I'll explain the addendum to my signature when I am delusional enough to pretend that you're interested. (Read: <4 days.)

It also saddens me a little that there's a time-span involved because I'm frightfully curious.

I'm 0 for 2 guys, just a normal saturday night.

[Sethomas]

It's been mentioned that I come from a largely medical family, setting up an even more ironic backdrop for posting a youtube video of me removing my own sutures. It's interesting because my mother provides perspective as a dunce nurse who deals with pompous doctors, my father is a radiological technician who's been apportioned all kinds of random managerial tasks to give him insight into the bizarre and often infuriating workings of the American medical industry, and my sister is an actual doctor who has had training and practice in places as varied as Guyana, England, and Manhattan.

When my sister's graduation from medical school was approaching, my family sat in one of those moments that come rarely each year when we're all together. Speaking of medical ethics, my father summarized the spirit of Hippocrates by saying "in any instance, the worst thing you can do is nothing." Sometimes this means that you have to pretend to look like you're doing tests to ease the patient's mind when there's a period of time when awaiting actual relevant results. Sometimes this means you have to tell the patient that they'll die in half an hour, and so you pull out a book and read to them.

My flatmates noticed that it was cold in the condo today, so one of them changed the thermostat to the "heat" function. They forgot, however, to adjust the temperature setting to something above what would require the separate air conditioning function.

Quite admirably by the standards of my father's advice, and perhaps heroically, my furnace has been fanning air at the cold room temperature for the past several hours.

[Sethomas]

While the whole ritual of pranking tobacconists with a question of their product availability is a cultural treasure, it was revealed today at work that its effect is lost on those of the younger generation. As I am a member of this generation, yet seem to have the imbued notion that I am a member of the Victorian aristocracy, I am qualified to translate it into something more contemporary.

Girl at bar: Do you have a prince albert on your dick?
Guy at bar: Actually, yes.
Girl at bar: Awesome, you must be totally hung for him to be able to live there. Let's go back to my place and bring your friend Al.

[Sethomas]

I just came up with a great pithy statement on American politics that I can't bring myself to say in the appropriate forum.

America has brought itself to the point where we have run out of plowshares so we must find other things to beat into swords. Only when we try to beat our dicks into swords will the act's familiarity remind us what got us into this war.

I DON'T CARE IF IT DOESN'T MAKE ALL THAT MUCH SENSE, I LIKE IT.

[bigtimecow]

now my dick hurts

[Fathom Zero]

I want to make violent love
to you by the moon above

[Sethomas]

IN A LAND CALLED AMERICA.
TEN YEARS AGO:

Imagine telling people who were just now getting used to the whole internet thing about this: as has probably happened throughout history, people in THE FUTURE are thinking about images during sex that they have in their head to motivate them into the act, perhaps in a dire statement of their opinion on their partner. As most people realized by 1998, many of these pictures would come from ONLINE.

Now, just try to explain that these pictures are actually of the person that the the CITIZEN OF THE FUTURE is having sex with, by which the incurred deception of attractiveness was responsible for the events leading up to the coital tryst.

Tell me, mind, what further evidence need I show you that you should boggle?

[Sethomas]

Last edited by Big Papa Goat : Apr 11th, 2008 at 05:35 AM. Reason: ******s

It's been hard to laugh that much in the philosophy board, at least since we've lost our dear submarine captain and gracefully enormous thigh muscles.

[Tadao]

[MetalMilitia]

[Sethomas]

Seth removes his stitches.

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[Tadao]

[Asila]

YouTube is just worried about you, Seth

[Pub Lover]

Originally Posted by Sethomas

Seth removes his stitches.

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Are those keyword matches or 'people that viewed your video also viewed these:'?

[Sethomas]

I wish I knew, lord how I wish I knew.

[executioneer]

Originally Posted by Pub Lover

Are those keyword matches or 'people that viewed your video also viewed these:'?

pretty sure it's the second that "principaldoogan" video that got posted on april fools only had the keywords "JIXBY DOOGAN PHILLIPS" and it still had only other april fools day related stuff as related matches for the longest time

[Dr. Octogonopus]

Originally Posted by Tadao

Arrrrgh I wanna armadillo. All the 'dillos in my neck of the woods are either infested with leprosy or busses.

[HickMan]

RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP


RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP

[Esuohlim]

RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP

[Seven Force]

post your dead jew thread

[Tadao]

Ban him

[Seven Force]

lmao

[Seven Force]

what the fuck does everyone think im banned for?

[liquidstatik]

asila idk if you know this or not but here at imockery we have a no fat chicks policy

[Esuohlim]

I would have totally banged Anne Frank if I was stuck in the attic with her

Whether she liked it or not