Questions for Max

[Terra]

Since you occasionally end up explaining bits and pieces of yourself in several of the forums, would you mind if we had an informal interview? I think some of the new people that have flooded in need to get a bearing on what your about. Not to mention, some of the posters who've been here awhile, and seem to continually stumble around, only to have their asses handed back to them for their forgetfulness.

You have a mission statement. I've seen this wonderful theme come up again and again. Can you explain it in better words than I could, please?

Can you then tell us what you despise the most around here?

What do you like the best?

If anybody else has any questions, please chime in.

Thank you Max.

[Anonymous]

Thanks Terra.

Well my mission statement is pretty simple as befitting this moronic fucktard board.

They're all fucktards and they need to be reminded of this.

You see, you have to keep lower life forms in line otherwise they start believing that they're actually important. Most of them believe that they are the sole beacon of what is considered "funny" not realizing the fact that EVERYTHING that they've ever said or done has been done already and 20 times better. While they are quick to call someone unoriginal, they fail to see their OWN repetition and redundant jokes.

"You're a fag!" "You're a cunt!" and variation of that same theme.

The hypocrisy is probably what I would most despise, if I actually cared. But instead I tend to see this more like a Video Game, where upon I score so many points for decimating various fucktards. And the older the Fucktard the more points I get. Plus it seems to annoy them greatly, that's an added bonus.

That's probably what I like best. There's nothing funnier than a fucktard that starts getting so riled up that he's either wishing my death, or making assumptions about my life. Its so damn easy though, all you gotta do is give them a simple insult and they come running to reply like the predictable fucktard monkeys they are.

Well I hope that answers you questions Terra.

[Terra]

Thank you, Max. It does answer them and raises a few more.

At what point do you begin to notice the new people? It seems that they tend to fly under the radar for a bit and then after the first insult, they seem to breed more new people. How do you explain this phenomena?

Furthermore, do you notice when the vets begin to attack you that they seem to do so in packs? I've noticed this of myself. Frankly I enjoy it but as this thread is not about me, I would like to hear you weigh in on this occurrence.

How did you find this site? And can you compare your insults now to your first attempts?

And the last question for now: who were your role models in life?

Thank you Max.

[Anonymous]

Well it varies. Basically if the new person is staying out of my way, then I won't bother with them. But lately they haven't been staying out of my way, which results into the latest crop of massacres you've been witnessing.

The common misconception among the old fucktards is that I'm trying to actively recruit new fucktards to "join some war" that they think I'm waging. This is just more fucktardery. As anyone knows I don't make alliances with anyone. I'm not adverse to causing chaos though. So every now and then I might urge the new fucktards (Especially if they're truely annoying) to go bother the old fucktards. This amuses me, since it gets them all upset, and they begin to whine for the old boards again.

As for all the new fucktards showing up recently, you got me. It just happens every now and then.

Yeah the old fucktards attack me in packs because they feel safer of course. They use this tactic on tons of new people and it used to work a little better, but lately even this cowardly tactic has been failing them. They have a herd like mentality, so they keep doing it anyway, but what can you expect from people who have the IQs of fucking dried jizz? Lately with me, they've been attempting to find a "hero" as it were to finally take me down. So far ALL their pathetic attempts have failed.

Actually there's been a ton of different methods I've used. The very first was "Professor Max" where I'd taunt them like I was studying lower primates. There was "Stand Up Comic" which set everything up like a joke. "Minister Max" where I used a bible like verse to call them fucktards. Of course the one that stuck is the "Classic Max" where I use the simple formula of name followed by a colon followed by an insult. Very effective. Then of course I'm sure you're already familar with "Quoting Max" and "Storytelling Max"

How did I find this site? I was bored and was doing a google search on "Fucktard" and this was the first name that showed up.

Role Models? Me of course.

Thanks Terra.

[ZekeySpaceyLizard]

Genital Warts are your friend.

[Anonymous]

Oh Terra in case you wanted further information on the history of Fucktard Decimation, here's some examples of my glorious career.

“Professor Mad Max”

Absolutely fascinating!

Civilized behavior failed completely as I anticipated! Subjects seem to have a herd mentality similar to those of Christian message boards...

The alpha fucktard leads the rest of the sheep in a uncreative and pointless attack...

Well that disproves the theory "Act like a dumb Shit and they'll treat you like an equal" Oh well I just can't be that stupid to fit in, I really should do more research though, more study of this primitive lower life form society is in order...

“Stand Up Comic Mad Max”

...and so kahljorn says to Sethomas its $50 just like back in town!
BADUMBUM!

Hey did you hear how jin got injured drinking milk?
The cow sat on him!
BADUMBUM!

Hey folks if these jokes are too good for ya, I got some crap!

How did The Retro Kat's boyfriend die?
Crib Death!
BADUMBUM!

Hey folks if you think that sucked, you should see Rev. Danno on Friday Night, now there's some sucking!
BADUMBUM!

Come on fucktards don't be afraid to take the dick out of your mouth to laugh!

“Minister Mad Max”

Fucktards: 24:7

And Sethomas continued to respond to the posts of the creator with feeble attacks (despite claiming he didn't read them) , so weak that even a limp wristed sodomite like Spectre X could come up with something better.

And then Sethomas was cast down from paradise where he met kahljorn. The two fucktards began to mate. Which then begat sadie who mated with a noble pig, which begat Rongi, who self abused himself so vigoriously that his seed hit a pile of feces, which begat The Retro Kat.

And the creator said unto Spectre X: "Thou hast no imagination and are a fucktard, thou must take thy mind off of homosexual porn, and find thy and real woman instead of thy Dad."

So let it be written, so let it be done.

“Classic Mad Max”

Esuohlim: Go play your fuckin' faggot ass fucktard games, with your bitch boy Comrade Rocket, I'm sure you two know all about shoving "ladders up your fuckin' "chutes".

Comrade Rocket: See Esuohlim, fucktard.

Professor Cool: Just like everything else on this lame ass unoriginal fucktard site, fucktard.

AChimp: No, I won't get involved in your fuckin' gay ass threesomes fucktard. Ask Schimid, he likes rimming your shitty ass, fucktard.

Geggy: I hear Special Ed classes help out mental incompetents like yourself fucktard. They let you play with the pretty blocks, you get to learn a trade, and they even provide pills to cure you of your chrononic masturbation habit. I hear they're even providing rubber pants too now, so you really should go check them out, at least for that benefit, I'm sure your parents are getting tired of washing your fuckin' piss stained matress at this point fucktard.

Freaky Sheek: Stop trying to fit in by attempting to insult me fucktard. You're not equipped to do so and your opinion means fuckin shit, just like your goddamn trailer trash life.

Zorak790: Stop whining you fuckin' bitch. You're just as much of a fucktard as the rest of them.

“Quoting Mad Max”

Originally Posted by Father Spaz

I swear, I'm the dumbest person ever, I'm not even going to apologize for it anymore, because I'm a whiney crybaby, who gets verbally raped and keeps getting called a "fucktard" all the time. I wanted to fit in but I guess you guys don't care what a 30-year old virgin who lives in his mother's basement watching Star-Trek spinoffs all day thinks. I just wanted to be your guys friend, there wasn't any reason for you guys to make fun of my inherent faggotry.

“Storyteller Mad Max”

AND SO LIKE KELLYCHAOS TOOK SAJUUK'S PENIS INTO HIS COLD SORE INFESTED MOUTH AND BEGAN TO SUCK. THE TASTE TO HIM WAS FAMILAR BUT SOMEHOW DIFFERENT. HE REALIZED THE TASTE WAS FROM THE COCONUT SPRINKLES SAJUUK HAD GLUED TO HIS MINISCULE MEMBER. KELLY BEGAN TO WORK THE DICK LIKE A FUCKING JACKHAMMER AND LET THE MANSEED AWASH OVER HIS FUCKTARD FACE LIKE A GODDAMN SPRINKLER.

THAT NIGHT KELLY WOULD SLEEP HIS SAJUUK'S DICK IN HIS MOUTH LIKE A FUCKING PACIFIER, BRINGING BACK MEMORIES OF HIS MOLESTED CHILDHOOD.

THE END

And there's no need to give examples of the "Era of the Madness and Terror", since the board is currently filled with them.

[glowbelly]

you umm, actually keep a log of some sort of your posts?

for real?

[Anonymous]

Originally Posted by glowbelly

you umm, actually keep a log of some sort of your posts?

for real?

Yeah, ALL of them.

All I did was go to old general blabber threads, and look for any title containing the word "fucktard". And post the shit here. Quick and Easy.

[Emu]

whatever happened to evil empire enterprises

that sounded like a company with potential

[Anonymous]

Evil Empire Enterprises still shows up every now and then, I just don't mention it all the time now.

[Lotida]

Thank you Max.....Thank you Terra!

I am truly inspired!

[glowbelly]

Originally Posted by Mad Max

Yeah, ALL of them.

All I did was go to old general blabber threads, and look for any title containing the word "fucktard". And post the shit here. Quick and Easy.

oh, that's all! silly me. i just thought it would be easier for you to have actually kept a log then to have sorted through 94 pages of forum posts with 50 topics on each page.

[Anonymous]

Lotida: Glad you're inspired Lotida!

glowbelly: My threads aren't that hard to find, just look for something in big bold letters with FUCKTARD in it. Maybe I'll look into keeping a log in the future though.

[Terra]

Max this is very impressive! I had no idea who deep this could go, but then as it's you, how could I be surprised?

I can see that you resources at hand are extensive. You have plenty of field work under your belt and this shows. I had forgotten half of the vets that you have mentioned as I'm fairly preoccupied with the current ones that won't go down, much as a turd that won't flush.

Tell me, will you be changing tactics on any of the posters here on the forum at all? I'm curious as to what will befall Helm and Jiz, er Jixby Phillips and a few others that seem to constantly pop up after a timely respite of mocking and being bashed in. Do you have any plans for them at all? Or will you wait for them to trip themselves up?

As always, it is wonderful getting to know this formidable man.

[Anonymous]

Aww Terra I'm touched!

Didn't recognize some of those names eh? Yeah, well see most of those fucktards eventually realized that it was futile and they couldn't win. So they backed off like fucking pussy bitch boys and went back to being balless wonders they are.

As for Helm and Jizzlips, who can say? Strangely I never used to get any flak from either of them until just recently. Jixby might say something every now and then but pretty much stayed out of my way. He doesn't like you, which might account for some of the attacks on me. He'll probably back off though, his main concern is keeping his fucktard status of "Mr. Wacky". Helm I assume is so pissed off at you (Due to his miserably sad lonely existence) that he's extending his lame ass attacks over to me. He seems to have assigned himself as the newest Fucktard Hero. He's actually venturing in the pathetic territory of Sethomas, SpectreX, and Carnivore with as upset as he gets over voices over the internet.

In any case given the intelligence of both of them, I see no need to change tactics any time soon. Actually they set themselves up pretty much anyway, so they're really victims of their own fucktardery.

I think that's all for your question, thanks again Terra.

[sadie]

wow.

[thebiggameover]

do you come up with stuff like

"used fucking tampon of a fucking 400 pound diabetic with cancer of the clitoris"

on the spot, or do you have a book or something that you use?

[Anonymous]

Like that one do you?

Unlike Milhouse, who's still using "THE BIG BOOK OF UNFUNNY 80s SITCOM JOKES" I come up with the everything myself.

[Anonymous]

Originally Posted by sadie

wow.

Indeed.

[MetalMilitia]

jesus christ, i seriously used to have some respect for you max until all of your threads turned into "max virtually pats himslef on the back".

[McMock]

Originally Posted by Mad Max

they fail to see their OWN repetition and redundant jokes.

Originally Posted by Mad Max

fucktard

[Anonymous]

MetalMilitia: Apparently you haven’t been paying attention then; ALL my threads have always been like that. Besides this isn’t my thread, its Terra’s thread. I could care less about anyone’s respect for me on here, I’m not here to be liked, but you seriously need to re-examine your social life if you felt the need to “respect” someone you didn’t even know on the internet of all places.

McMock: Actually I was wondering when someone would bring that up. The constant use of the word fucktard, is, if you haven’t realized by now is over-used deliberately. Why? Because this place is called I-Mockery and that’s exactly what I’m doing. Mocking these fucktards. Mocking their “way of life” as it were. Like I said before they constantly use the same insults over and over, with no idea that they’re being redundant and the full idea that they’re being original. My method is the twisted image of what they’re exactly guilty of. Repetition. Yet they never seem to realize that ironic fact. So when they attempt to insult me, all they’re really just doing is insulting themselves. Plus I fully acknowledge the fact that I’m using the same insult over and over. It’s my ongoing joke on them, one that they’ll never get. Plus it seems to really irritate them.

[Terra]

A little more insight into this incredible man.

Actually if I might be so bold, the name "fucktard" has always been your calling card, Max. Much as "shitstorm" is mine, although I rarely get the opportunity to use it.

Can you now give us a little insight into what your day is like, Max?

The neighborhood where your at, how do the people you interact with help shape your refreshing view of life around here?

When did you first pick up the name "fucktard" and run with it?

Thank you again for your patience with my queries.

[Anonymous]

Ah some personal questions! Now I cannot possibly divulge these on here, perhaps in private though.

I'll answer what I can though.

"Fucktard" yeah from the very beginning it was, although I never meant it to. Someone actually called ME a fucktard during one of the first assaults. Then I happened to use it a couple of times in a few of posts of retaliation. Then I got bitched at for "using it all the time". Well I couldn't disappoint the fucktard public could I? So I started using it ALL the time.

I never use the word in "real life" actually. In fact I never saw that much use of the word until I read these forums.

Thanks for supplying your own "virus" fucktards!

And thanks again Terra for your questions.

[ZekeySpaceyLizard]

HERPES