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  #77326  
Pub Lover Pub Lover is offline
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 04:10 PM       
Shit Fuck.
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  #77327  
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 04:10 PM       
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  #77328  
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 04:13 PM       
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don't get any ideas about posting your random sex havings in my threads, guys

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Willie, I guarantee I will never post an accurate account of me having sex in one of your threads.
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  #77329  
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 04:14 PM       
I need the door open for lies though.
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  #77330  
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 04:14 PM       
I post so many of the lies.
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  #77331  
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 04:19 PM       
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  #77332  
Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 05:46 PM       
THEY CAN'T HELP IT AND I CAN'T BLAME 'EM SINCE I GOT FAMOUS, BUT BITCH, I GOT MONEY TO BLOW

GETTIN' IT IN, LETTIN' THESE BILLS FALL ALL OVER YOUR SKIN

I GOT MONEY TO BLOW
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  #77333  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 08:36 PM       
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don't get any ideas about posting your random sex havings in my threads, guys

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BOY I WILL TELL YOU STORIES YOU WISH YOU NEVER HEARD
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  #77334  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 08:40 PM       
One of my ex-girlfriends talked to God and God talked back, apparently this also extended to while we were screwing

This means that while I was having sex with a girl she thought she was having a private one-on-once conversation withGod

That's the kind of shit that precedes you being surprise STABBED TO DEATH, and I learned this while I was breaking up with her
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  #77335  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 08:42 PM       
One of my exes turned out to have a weird, weird, weird obsession with "Asian ball-joint dolls" and liked to pretend that I was "one of her dolls" while we had sex


Once again, a creepy factoid that I learned afterwards
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  #77336  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 08:45 PM       
Another girl I slept with at a party seemed normal until she somehow got my number and started calling me repeatedly and telling me that I was a victim of identity theft because there was someone who looked exactly like me except his hair had "blonde tips"
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  #77337  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 08:49 PM       
And those are only the stories that I'm going to tell you. I am a cosmic weirdness magnet, and pretty much the only sane person I ever had a "committed relationship" wit someone working as a nude model, which is a weird story in and of itself
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Last edited by Grislygus : Jun 30th, 2011 at 01:16 AM.
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  #77338  
Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 09:03 PM       
lololololololol :artstudents
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  #77339  
elx elx is offline
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 10:14 PM       
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don't get any ideas about posting your random sex havings in my threads, guys

DO NOT LIKE
forgive me!
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Hey elx, your sig is too big. 400 x 100 pixels is the limit, son

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  #77340  
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 10:15 PM       
I went and met people from the internet tonight. it was fun. too bad you internet people are so far away that none of you even know what duck sauce is.
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Hey elx, your sig is too big. 400 x 100 pixels is the limit, son

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  #77341  
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 10:16 PM       
except maybe colonelflagg <3
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Hey elx, your sig is too big. 400 x 100 pixels is the limit, son

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  #77342  
Pub Lover Pub Lover is offline
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 10:44 PM       
I thought I had some Plum Sauce in the pantry but it is Mango Chutney.
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  #77343  
Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 10:50 PM       
There's nothing wrong with mango chutney, man.
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  #77344  
Otto Otto is offline
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 10:54 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by executioneer View Post
don't get any ideas about posting your random sex havings in my threads, guys

DO NOT LIKE
Considering that in accordance with German cultural norms, in order to have sex with a woman I would have to first puncture the right-hand side of her with my mating spike and inject her with my seed while saluting the heavens with a Sieg Heil at the same time, both of which are frowned upon in contemporary American society, you have no need to worry about me ever talking about it in any of your threads much less actually doing it in a close-minded nation such as this one.
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"You've gotta' look to the future. The future is anarchy. I'm talking about lawlessness, I'm talking about the Lebanons of the future. I'm talking about the breakdown of the whole system. The military defending people against people. You won't get your appropriations waving that flag, there's no glory in that kind of warfare!"
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  #77345  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 11:03 PM       
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I went and met people from the internet tonight. it was fun. too bad you internet people are so far away that none of you even know what duck sauce is.
Barbra streisand


OOHWHEEOO-OOH-OOH-OOOOHOOOOOH
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  #77346  
Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 11:10 PM       


or their first single
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  #77347  
Kitsa Kitsa is offline
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 11:16 PM       
I spent the day in the ER. Pretty much all that came out of it was that my gallbladder got a clean bill of health and I figured out I never want a "GI Cocktail" again.

This was pretty much my view all day.

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  #77348  
Otto Otto is offline
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 11:24 PM       
Ugh, I hate going to the ER. A few years ago I got attacked by a stray dog and had to go there and ended up waiting three hours before someone would see me. I was tempted to put some alka-seltzer tablets in my mouth and run around the waiting room screaming THANKS A LOT AMERICAN HEALTHCARE SYSTEM!
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"You've gotta' look to the future. The future is anarchy. I'm talking about lawlessness, I'm talking about the Lebanons of the future. I'm talking about the breakdown of the whole system. The military defending people against people. You won't get your appropriations waving that flag, there's no glory in that kind of warfare!"
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  #77349  
Shyandquietguy Shyandquietguy is offline
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 11:25 PM       
Sounds like me and neglecting my dental hygiene. Infected tooth + really bad allergies = cannot breathe through nasal passages.

Except yours sounds alot worse. Glad you're okay, Kitsa.
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  #77350  
Kitsa Kitsa is offline
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Old Jun 29th, 2011, 11:45 PM       
Thanks. Well, it's not my gallbladder, anyway.

I used to see GI cocktails given all the time and never really thought about it. Basically, it's maalox plus some sort of lidocaine syrup, and you drink it. First of all, it tastes fucking horrible. There's a little mint to it, but not much to go on. The entire time you're trying to force it down, your body is saying "noooo, no, I don't think so". But you get it down and then you realize there is absolutely zero sensation in your tongue and throat. Just nothing there.

That sounds a lot more fun than it is. In reality, your mouth is filling up with spit and you think you're swallowing but can't be sure because you can't feel it. So until it wears off (took me about 45 minutes), it feels like either being choked or suffocated to death. Man, I hated that.
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