Features

Mockery · #1

We all fear how bad it's going to be, but Proto has just taken the time to create a list of reasons explaining exactly why the new Transformers live-action movie is going to suck!

NEW ARTICLE: "WHY THE TRANSFORMERS LIVE-ACTION MOVIE IS GOING TO SUCK!" -by Protoclown
http://www.i-mockery.com/visionary/t...mers-movie.php

Enjoy!

MattJack · #2

The article was aight. I got a few chuckles out of it.

I dunnn care if Jesus comes to me in a vision and tells me it sucks, Imma see this flick even if the reviews say that Ghost Rider was an epic movie in comparison. Btw Ghost Rider lol

I just hope Megatron turns into something cooler than a fucking gun.
Back then, I didn't care, but looking back I keep saying,"A fucking gun? That's fucking weak."

I hope Starscream is a complete badass too. He was always one of my favorites. HE SHOULD HAVE LED THE DECEPITCONS. THERE I SAID IT.

ArrowX · #3

Thats not megatrons face anymore, they gave him a crown because the fans didn't like that one. Besides, theres plenty of REAL reasons that the movie will suck balls. One of the reasons for it being good is the absence of Soundwave Bay himself said that they couldn't get him to work so they cut him for a sequel (also from the early script ideas soundwave will be leading the deceptacons in the next movie.)

Main reason for the films suckage will be Starscream. they prettymuch took everything that made him cool away, now hes a drab brown color and looks like a fucking gorilla.

Jazz is a pontiac solstice.

The only 3 who look good so far are Ratchet, Ironhide and Blackout

SRSLY WTF

Protoclown · #4

Yeah, I saw Starscream yesterday and thought he looked fucking HORRIBLE. Actually I wasn't impressed with out any of them looked. They're all just far too "busy". There's so many parts sticking out every which way I don't know what I'm looking at. It could be their ass, it could be their face...who the fuck knows!??

Zomboid · #5

Even though it'll suck, I'm still gonna see it and probably enjoy it more than ghost rider (which was abysmal)

Protoclown · #6

Yeah, I'm gonna go see it as well, out of morbid curiosity if nothing else.

MattJack · #7

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArrowX

Main reason for the films suckage will be Starscream. they prettymuch took everything that made him cool away, now hes a drab brown color and looks like a fucking gorilla.

SRSLY WTF

Quote:

Originally Posted by Protoclown

Yeah, I saw Starscream yesterday and thought he looked fucking HORRIBLE. Actually I wasn't impressed with out any of them looked.

What was that guys? I couldn't really hear yall over the sound of my heart breaking.

THAT is Starscream?! Why not just give them all new names and make it a different universe or era? Why shit on the best?

</3

Protoclown · #8

The new Starscream needs to go on a fucking diet, the fatty

ArrowX · #9

I agree with protoclown on how they look too busy so far the majority of the characters look like shit, the new versions look too much like they were built using modern tech instead of super advanced robots from space. youd think that a group of beings that predate humanity by a few billion years would have rendered the use of hydraulics outdated.

The only one with a really good looking robot mode is hands down Blackout.
ME WANT!
http://www.tfw2005.com/boards/showthread.php?t=121991

Iain · #10

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArrowX

SRSLY WTF

Well ONE good thing came from this new movie... The old Transformers movie miraculously started popping up in all the DVD stores and it rules.

"You got the touch. You got the powaaaaaa!"