I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[Dimnos]

Originally Posted by Tadao

For future reference. If you find money on the ground where you work, you have to turn it in to lost and found and wait like 90 days before you can claim it.

[Zhukov]

Originally Posted by Phoenix Gamma

I used to work at a retail store. A few weeks ago, I found a $5 gift card on the floor and used it to buy a snack.

Today I got fired for it. Apparently that's "gross misconduct."
The meeting didn't even last a whole minute. Gave me an envelope of cash and escorted me off the premises. I worked there for 3 years

I was finally gonna move out of my parent's house really soon too. I don't have it in me to tell them yet, but my old man offered to pay for my car repairs tomorrow and gave me this "I love you, son" talk.

Cue anxiety attack. And tons of job applications.

Wow, that sucks so badly. I take it you're not in a union.

[kahljorn]

yea you might as well have stolen it from a customer

next time LAUNDER IT

[Phoenix Gamma]

Originally Posted by Zhukov

Wow, that sucks so badly. I take it you're not in a union.

Nah. They actually have a segment in the training video that specifically discourages against unions for like 10 minutes.

Put in 9 job applications last night. Was gonna do more today after dropping my car off at the mechanic, but it's below freezing I can at least do a follow-up call to an old application from a week ago. Maybe check Craigslist or something.

Never got fired before, actually. I was gonna make a scene, but I remembered I'd probably need those jerks for when I list my job experience on applications.

[Zhukov]

Originally Posted by Phoenix Gamma

Nah. They actually have a segment in the training video that specifically discourages against unions for like 10 minutes.

Well I hope not being in a union works out for you.

[Pub Lover]

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost

Thanks guys. She's adorable as fuck



We had to use artificial insemination actually because my dong was too big to fit in my girlfriends giner.

Originally Posted by Zhukov

I've got the irresistible urge to bite it's eye.

..

[Fathom Zero]

The thing is, they don't want you to start a union until you do, then they have to deal with you. If everybody in the entire store quit and formed a union, it'd work. But nobody's got the will to these days and all the existing unions are filled with crooked fucks.

[Phoenix Gamma]

Yea, I don't really think it was a viable option for some part time cashier like me.

Ah well. My old roommate said he could get me a job at some place googling things for people who need information. Pay's crazy good. He's been doing it for awhile and he was in the same boat as me. It's a 30 minute drive from my house, but it's work, and it's better work than what I've done for the past 5 years.

[Tadao]

Can't you google from home?

[Phoenix Gamma]

I think I need to be on the phone with clients. So they record it or something in their office, probably log what I look up so they make sure I'm not watching Buttsluts Go Nuts or whatever. It's close to double my last hourly rate, though, so I'll drive a little extra.

On an unrelated note, I was worried my dick my fall off today after walking in -2 degree weather for two hours. I don't think any part of me has ever been that cold before. All the condensation from my breath froze my facial hair too "Global warming" my ass

[LordSappington]

So, after going to several doctors who didn't seem to really give many shits (my regular doctor has been out on vacation), the general consensus is that I have some sort of problem with my inner ear, and as far as they're concerned, my weight loss is unrelated.
I might have inherited my mother's vertigo problems, but while hers were abrupt, left her too dizzy to move without falling, and lasted an hour or so, mine feels like I decided to spin around in circles for a little while, and has lasted almost two weeks now. The doctors say that it can last a few days, or a few weeks, or even a few months. Fuuuu-

[kahljorn]

Sounds like a bullshit job, Phoenix Gamma.

but that's just my opinion. Good luck!

[Tadao]

My gal had a bad vertigo problem. An acupuncturist gave her some Chinese voodoo herbs to take and she got better. The Docs couldn't help her either.

[LordSappington]

Originally Posted by Tadao

My gal had a bad vertigo problem. An acupuncturist gave her some Chinese voodoo herbs to take and she got better. The Docs couldn't help her either.

My mom eventually had to have a nerve in her ear clipped to solve it. ope mine doesn't get that bad.

[kahljorn]

hmm. you could try running a search for, "Vertigo TCM"

or actually traditional chinese medicines hella complicated so maybe you should just find one in town :O lol

http://www.yinyanghouse.com/treatmen...ziness_vertigo

TELL ME YOUR SYMPTOMS AND HOW YOU FEEL AND ILL TRY TO DIAGNOSE YOU ACCORDING TO TRADITIONAL CHINESE MEDICINE :O

IS THIS A CHRONIC FEELING THAT IS CONSTANTLY THERE OR IS IT SOMETHING THAT COMES AND GOES? DOES YOUR HEAD FEEL STUFFY WHEN YOU GET VERTIGO? DOES YOUR HEAD FEEL STUFFY IN GENERAL? BESIDES LOSING WEIGHT WHAT OTHER PROBLEMS DO YOU HAVE? ANY PAIN IN ANY INTERNAL ORGANS? WHAT KIND OF DIET DO YOU HAVE?

OH WAIT YOU SAID A PROBLEM WITH THE INNER EAR. DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE SUFFERING HEARING LOSS? DO YOU HEAR S OUNDS LIKE, BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP WHEN YOU GET VERTIGO?

[executioneer]

Originally Posted by Phoenix Gamma

My old roommate said he could get me a job at some place googling things for people who need information. Pay's crazy good.

um can i get this job also

[Fathom Zero]

i have tinnitus ;_;

[kahljorn]

http://www.itmonline.org/arts/tinmen.htm



THERES ALSO THIS THING CALLED MENIIERS DISeASE THATS LIKE A COMBINITION OF TINNITUS AND VERTIGO :O:O:O

MY PRELIMINARY DIAGNOSIS KNOWING NOTHING ABOUT YOU IS THAT YOUR PROBLEM IS PROLLY CAUSed by yOU BEING TOO WATERY! TRY TO EAT SOME SPICY OR ASTRINGENT FOODS (OCCASIONALLY, NOT TOO MUCH OR YOU COULD GET ANOTHER IMBALANCE. ACTUALLY THE BEST THING WOULD BE ASTRINGENT TYPE FOODS PROBABLY: thIngS THAT ABSORB WATER FROM YOUR BODY SUCH AS BEANS AND RAW FRUITS AND VEGETABLES; WHEN I GET HOME I CAN FIND OUT WHICH TCM THINGS tAKE WATER OUT OF THE BODY) AND NOT GREASY MOIST SUGARY FOODS. AND GET SOME REST! BASICALLY THINK OF IT LIKE WHEN YOU HAVE A COLD AND NEED TO GET ALL THE SNOT OUT OF YOUR HEAD.
IN FACT PERHAPS YOUR WEIGHT LOSS COULD BE ATTRIBUTED TO THIS! YOUR BODY IS tRYING TO FLUSH FLUIDS OUT OF YOUR BODY, THUS CAUSING YOU TO LOSE WEIGHT! haha i dunno.

TRADITIONAL KAHLJORN MEDICINE

[Babs]

Surgery tomorrow for me, my intestines will be out on a table for approximately 1 hour. Nothing like the scare of ulcerative colitis/crohn's.

[Phoenix Gamma]

Originally Posted by kahljorn

Sounds like a bullshit job, Phoenix Gamma.

but that's just my opinion. Good luck!

Oh I'd agree, but my ex-roommate's been with them for over a year. We went to the same school, had the same major, etc. and he's been able to sustain himself. And I'm sure it involves more than google

[Tadao]

Originally Posted by Babs

Surgery tomorrow for me, my intestines will be out on a table for approximately 1 hour. Nothing like the scare of ulcerative colitis/crohn's.

You can here to spill your guts?

[Babs]

I came here to drain my nuts

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Originally Posted by executioneer

um can i get this job also

Like working at Cha Cha.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Originally Posted by Dimnos

Congrats Bill. She has your foreFIVEhead.

fixed

[Babs]

According to Cha Cha, I-mockery has the saddest public suicide notes.

http://www.chacha.com/question/what-...e-ever-written

I mean I guess it's not really to far fetched to believe.