I wrote this because I have seen the MTV and I'm hip to it.

[CaptainBubba]

Ok, so it was like this: I wanted to go to the movies, and my gimp wanted to just stay in for the evening and do a pay-per view thing.

"FUCK!" I screamed, leaning as close as I could into his ear, and almost immediately, like a baboon vying for tribe dominance, his massive hairy arms take hold of my head.

he squeezed really really hard and It felt like I was going to die for a second, but I was crafty, and I yanked the exposed chain conecting his gall bladder to his 3rd heart chamber, rendering his body completely dead.

Well now what the fuck was I going to do? I had a dead gimp body on the couch and 5 starving Jewish girlscouts in my bathroom ( I don'y have the time or the patience to tell you bastards how they got ther so just bare with me).

Naturally the only solution was to start a cult devoted to the O' so popular "Kidz Bop" CD collection. It didn't go over so well though, and In the end I just decided to stay at hoem and watch the pay-per view feature, "too hot to handle".

Silly me! I forgot that I had the oven on! Now I'll have to kill myself! So what I did was I got on a plane to Bermuda, yunno, cuz of the whole triangle thing, and when we arrived in Bermuda I detonated the chest bomb I strapped to my ribcage.

Unfortunately I was the only survivor ( OMG! ) and so I had to go on living, knowing that I had killed all those innocent women and children back in Vietnam ( Those were the good days back in the gulf War, yup yup, damn dirty Nazi Jews- Word up to my homies who don't know the difference between a nazi and a jew YO YO!- were running all over the fucking place and took all the GOOD jobs from the GOOD Americans! ).

Yunno, Bermuda wasn't so bad, except that every time I sneezed people would beat the living piss out of every part of my body and scream in Latin at me. And by sneezing I mean channeling the spirit of Richard Nixxon and making out with random children I found in candy stores. But don't worry, I always use protection!

Anyway, after a couple years of that I got tired of the fast and furious ( OMFG I LOVE THAT MOVIE!!!)lifestyle, so i became a porn star for snuff films. They shot me in the face 3 times before they all started crying and blood flowed from the red stars burning on their foreheads. I think I'm the devil.

Someone found me in a fetal position a couple days afterward saying "I will discover how many licks it takes to make Louie Anderson an attractive woman". Needless to say he happened to work for the late, great, Louie Anderson, and so I made a trip down to the Family Feud filming station.

Once there I decided itd just be better to go back to Bermuda, because that where my family was: my beautiful wife, Bob, and my 14 darling children, every single one of them dead from aggrivated homicide (woops, that was my fault, silly me, LOL!).

Nowadays I spend most of my time Lying in a dark corner eating bannannas and listening to Deftones, waitng for Satan to give me back that Aqua CD he borrowed from me back in Desert storm.

Dirty Fucker.

[Spectre X]

Starving Jewish girlscouts.