The Doctor is IN !!

[theapportioner]

Well, not yet, since it'll be a number of years before I have my MD, but might as well get some practice now! I'm here to answer any questions you might have regarding erectile dysfunction, cervical, ovarian, prostate, and testicular cancer, incontinence, yeast infection, sexually transmitted diseases, micropenis, and other concerns you might have. Psychiatric counseling is also provided. Note: the advice given here is not a substitute for medical care - if you have a condition, you should always visit a doctor.

Sincerely,
- MD2B

[Pee Wee Herman]

MY DICK IS BLEEDING HELP ME

[Helm]

Kind of a longshot, but what do you do when you only get an erection when you ponder on the misfortunes you might inflict on others if you were so inclined? Which I am. Inclined. Erected. Stand up and you cannot sit down may I recommend some tightie whities and jeans?

[maggiekarp]

My penis fell off






But seriously folks, my nonexistant penis is fine and dandy.

[camacazio]

That one's easy. Duct tape.

[maggiekarp]

Do the ladies find the duct tape more pleasurable??



... how about the men?

[Anonymous]

clothesline

[Matt Harty]

Why don't I have a vagina?

[Pee Wee Herman]

Because you touch yourself at night.

[The Unseen]

You don't have a vagine because you're a boy

[theapportioner]

PWH: Details, details. Do you have a sore? Have you punctured it? I would advise getting it checked out by a physician and avoiding sexual intercourse until it heals.

Helm: You appear to be a menace to society and I have submitted your profile to the proper authorities. You have already been placed on the sex offender registry list. Their solutions may comprise administering anal intercourse to you or castration. Hope this answers your question!

maggiekarp: Well, pick it up and call an ambulance! As John Wayne Bobbitt knows, a penis can be reattached if it hasn't been severed for too long. Plus you may have a promising career in the adult film industry.

Matt Harty: Sex changes are possible, if you so desire.

[maggiekarp]

My penis said he had had enough and that he was leaving me...


My penis may be detatched but I'm really suffering a broken heart




XD

[Pee Wee Herman]

OMG WTF I PEE BLOOD AH HELP

[maggiekarp]

I can just imagine Pee wee saying that.


Your avatar helps me see it more, though. (Peewee calling the hospital... yeah.)

[Pee Wee Herman]

I used that avatar because it looks like Pee Pee is actually saying the stuff that I post. He's facing the right direction, has the right facial expression, his mouth is open, etc. That's why I used that one insted of a generic one of Pee Wee making a face or something.