I think ya'll could help me with this.

[CaptainBubba]

I AM A GREEDY ASSHOLE.

[Cap'n Crunch]

Well, you have to fight her boyfriend for 15 minutes, and no one wins. Then, you make him put on the glasses to show him that she is really an alien.

[Schimid]

No, you go to beat him up, and then bring a beat box with you and scream "DON'T HIT ME! I'LL HIT ME! WAAAAAOW!"

:heyarnold

[Professor Cool]

I didn't know that Arnold Palmer had his own cartoon series.

[Perndog]

I would hypnotize her and replace her boyfriend's image in her mind with mine, along with convincing her that she has some strong and unexplainable connection with me. Really.

I'm not sure if that's the way you wanna do it, though. So I'm clueless.

[Brandon]

Skip the mind games: just kill him with piano wire. DUH.

[Jixby Phillips]

I'M WRECK JUST KIDDING

[Jixby Phillips]

I LIVE IN REDDING CALIFORNIA. I EAT HAMBURGSERS

:EEK

[Off-Topic Man]

I remember being with this one fine looking dame, her name was Erica. One night, I woo'd her and I swept off her feet with a dinner at Arby's and a classic 50's movie, "The Night is Still Young" starring Gwen Zimmerman and Todd Elcher. Later that night, we went back to my ranch, I brought her out to the back. She asked if I wanted to do something really crazy. For Erica, I would do anything for her. We had weird sex on a horse. Turned out it was one of her fetishes. It was an interesting experience for me, to say at least. From now ever since Erica died, I look at my horse, I think of Erica, then I have sex with the horse. Damn you, Erica.

[kellychaos]

I'm sorry. Dildos are not my strong suit. Perhaps sexual counseling is in order here.

[CaptainBubba]

Jokes on YOU, fuckers. I don't have a face or arms.

[kellychaos]

I'll bet that makes shaving easy.

[Cap'n Crunch]

Did anyone get my They Live reference at all?

[CaptainBubba]

NO.


I am going to the park with her tommorow.
She still has a boyfriend though.

[CaptainBubba]

THERES A JUNGLE GYM THERE.

[Esuohlim]

CONVINCE HER TO HANG UPSIDE DOWN FROM THE MONKEY BARS AND CATCH A GLIMPSE WHEN HER SHIRT FALLS OVER HER HEAD LOO.

[Schimid]

YOU'RE A BOLD KID, ARNOLD

[CaptainBubba]

Not a bad night.

We stayed at her house all night instead o the park.

Got some illegal kisses.

Says her bf doesn't find her attractive and pays little attention to her.

I put out fake ciggarettes on her and made old whore voices.

A good time was had by all. .

She still has a boyfriend though.

[soundtest]

i've messed around with girls who had boyfriends and it's always been trouble. if you're like me you'll lose interest when/if she breaks up with him because in the back of your mind you know she is capable of doing this behind your back too.

[CaptainBubba]

I am different. I am so cool and good and naive and innocent that she would never hurt me like that. Because I'd cry like a woman. A woman with AIDS.

I'm seriously trying to convince myself that. :/

[CaptainBubba]

CONVINCE ME.

[CaptainBubba]

HULA HOOP IN MY FUCKING MOUTH BITCH.

[Cap'n Crunch]

She sounds like a total slut if she wants to be with you and her boyfriend at one time. Just ask her who she wants, and let her decide for herself. It's not worth it if she keeps wanting it to be like this.

[CaptainBubba]

I can't. I'm very weak.

[CaptainBubba]

Ok this is getting ridiculous. I'm killing myself in 2 months if no one will make me feel loved. I must really be a horrible fucking person for everyone to reject me in some subtle way or another. I want to stop going on the internet all day and I want someone who likes me enough to make me feel special.

2 months.