Modern Art

[Ushnor]

I'm going to have a little rant about the lowest form of art: Modern Art

That's right, the great form of "art" where you can super-glue a piece of dog shit to a plank and have pseudo-intellects buy it for millions because it makes them feel deep.

Well, maybe I'm being too harsh. Lets look at some modern art and judge it firsthand.

(All images from moma.org)
First one up

WOW! It’s a watering can. That must have been so hard! The artist had to do all that work, like driving to buy it at Wal-Mart.
J/K! I know that he didn't buy it at Wal-Mart. Walmart would never sell a watering can with a useless handle like that. Well, at least it makes you feel deep emotions or at least entertains you! Oh wait, no it doesn't.


Wow, a fan. I don't have anything to say I haven’t already said.


How, this is amazing! It shows the skill and mastery that as of yet only 3 year-olds have been able to attain!


I have no idea WTF this is, so it must be great piece of modern art.


Now we get to the cream of the crop, the modern art picture that everyone loves. I'm sure your all saying "BUT THIS WAS MADE A LONG TIME AGO! IT MUST BE GOOD!" or "BUT A POPULAR ARTIST MADE THIS! IT MUST BE GOOD!" or "JUST BECAUSE IT'S A PIECE OF CRAP THAT A 5TH GRADER COULD MAKE, IT MUST BE GOOD BECAUSE EVERYONE SAIS IT IS!" Well I admit it is better then most modern art, it doesn't hold a candle to even low level art like

At lease you can tell WTF it is. And at least web-comics are entertaining.


So everyone, please stop trying to feel smart. If you don't feel smart without trying, then you aren’t smart. Just deal with it.

EDIT: I know everyone has diffrent tastes, but modern art makes me so MAD

[Chojin]

I AM OUTRAGED

[Sacks]

That fan looks pretty cool

[Chojin]

Allow me to deliver the responses you wanted from this thread.

WHAT THA?! SIMPSONS ISN'T A WEBCOMIC IT'S BEEN ON TV FOR 80 YEARS WHAT YOUR PROBLEM GRR THAT THING ISN'T MODERN ART TOO HOW CAN SOMETHING BE MODERN IF IT'S OLD YOU MUST BE A WORLD-CLASS JERKFACE TO NOT UNDERSTAND THESE THINGS COME BACK TO THE INTERNET WHEN YOU HAVE A CLUE

[Ushnor]

lol, I knew someone would be outraged. Maybe I should learn to stop posting at 3 AM.

Anyway, I stand by what I said. I think all modern artists are frauds. And I don't think anything is art if you have to be told it's art to figure it out. If I showed you that picture of a watering can without telling you it was modern art, would you know? I wouldn't.

Modern art surves no purpose but to take your money and make real art look like a joke.



Also, I don't think cartoons or webcomics are art, but there more of an art then that BS.

[Sacks]

I looked all over that website for that fan and I couldn't find it! My holiday season is ruined! I hate you Ushnor! I wish you were dead!

[Ushnor]

That fan is here
http://moma.org/collection/browse_re...1&sort_order=1

[Chojin]

i'm sorry, next time i'll add [/sarcasm] in addition to the caps to further clue you in to jokes.

[Rez]

oh dear.

i hate to say it, but at least this guy is preferable to all the tards that hang around galleries saying how this and that remind him of some artist everyone *should* be impressed that he knows about.

those people really tick me off.

this guy's just pathetic.

[glowbelly]

the first two were made by people who were designers. this means that they designed every day products. oh and they were artists, too. that's why their every day products look so rad.

the rest i'm not even going into.

van gogh rocks, btw. for you to lump him into "modern art" is totally crazy on your part. TOTALLY CRAZY.

and rez knows that i also hate when people look at art and recall names just to impress people around them. i was livid when some silly person on a photography website compared a horrific black and white picture of a calla lily to mapplethorpe's calla lily series. it's stupid, stupid, stupid. especially if there's no merit in it.

OH LOOK AT THAT I JUST NAMED DROPPED PLEASE EXCUSE MY ART FAGGINESS

[ScruU2wice]

Ushnor, I don't believe that you deserve the sarcastic response that people are gonna flood you with. Chojin is just a softy for the new kids.


I'm just gonna get petty and mention that there are numerous times that you spell stuff wrong. This isn't a big deal if you're just typing too fast and don't read your posts twice, but you it's very apparent that you just sat there trying to sound the words out.
Valid opinion points: -10


Moving on, you haven't given any logical and well reasoned explanation on why any of the pieces you posted aren't artistically sound. Your attacks just seem to rake around a 3 year old being able to paint a Van Gogh. You're ranting your head off about people spending too much money paintings that they
like, but you really don't explaing why they shouldn't like it.
Valid opinion points: -30


"Hey guys Starry Night really sucks, people only like it because it's a Van Gogh.."
Valid opinion points: -20


If you wanna tell us that an expressionist piece made in the late 19th century is "Modern Art", Then let's just stick Renissance art with it. You make it abundantly clear that you don't know anything about art. at all.
Valid opinion points: -20


You constantly refer to "real art" but fail to explain to us what it is, which is one of the most difficult questions to ask in the world.
Valid opinion points: -30


Your entire post is regurgitated vomit that everyone has heard a million times. I don't see a shred of originality in your ideas.
Valid opinoin points: -20


So let's add everything up here.

Let's assume that modern art is as uselss and pointless as you say and give it a score of zero. that makes the final score

Modern art: 0
Ushnor: -130



Ouch.

[Ushnor]

Originally Posted by ScruU2wice

Ushnor, I don't believe that you deserve the sarcastic response that people are going to flood you with. Chojin is just a softy for the new kids.


I'm just going to get petty and mention that there are numerous times that you spell stuff wrong. This isn't a big deal if you're just typing too fast and don't read your posts twice, but you it's very apparent that you just sat there trying to sound the words out.
Valid opinion points: -10

It was 3 am

Moving on, you haven't given any logical and well reasoned explanation on why any of the pieces you posted aren't artistically sound. Your attacks just seem to rake around a 3 year old being able to paint a Van Gogh. You're ranting your head off about people spending too much money paintings that they
like, but you really don't explaing why they shouldn't like it.
Valid opinion points: -30

"artistically sound". That means nothing, because the people who decide what is "artistically sound" are the same assholes who buy the stuff.

"Hey guys Starry Night really sucks, people only like it because it's a Van Gogh.."
Valid opinion points: -20

It does suck, and people do only like it because Van Gogh made it. If nobody told you that it was Van Gogh, or if they like it, you would hate it.

If you want to tell us that an expressionist piece made in the late 19th century is "Modern Art", then let's just stick Renaissance art with it. You make it abundantly clear that you don't know anything about art. at all.
Valid opinion points: -20

Just because I am not a master of art eras doesn't mean I don't know about art. Art isn't about seeing what other people tell you to see. It's about... well it's complicated and I don't want to get into it. The fact is, the people who think only people who study art can decide what they think is art are the pseudo intellects.
Anyway, I saw that on the modern art website and assumed it was modern art.

You constantly refer to "real art" but fail to explain to us what it is, which is one of the most difficult questions to ask in the world.
Valid opinion points: -30

http://www.ibiblio.org/wm/paint/auth/vinci/joconde/joconde.jpg[img]
Wow, it takes skill, you can tell what it is, and it's beautiful. Looks like real art...

Your entire post is regurgitated vomit that everyone has heard a million times. I don't see a shred of originality in your ideas.
Valid opinoin points: -20

And my originality has to do with the validity of my opinion how...?

[GADZOOKS]

Are you the Norwegian Jerry Seinfield, I mean WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

[GADZOOKS]

OF COURSE THAT'S ASSUMING YOU ARE REALLY A VIKING, AND NOT A BOY WITH FAT TITS.

[ScruU2wice]

Originally Posted by Ushnor

It was 3 am

Don't try to sound intellegent at 3am then

"artistically sound". That means nothing, because the people who decide what is "artistically sound" are the same assholes who buy the stuff.

Yeah they tend to be called artists. These wonderful brand of people are the ones who study art for years in all of it's forms. If you don't tell us what is "crappy" about it, then your simply stating your opinion which is already worth less then nothing.

It does suck, and people do only like it because Van Gogh made it. If nobody told you that it was Van Gogh, or if they like it, you would hate it.

I liked it before I knew it was a Van Gogh. It has terrific contrast in color scheme. It has amazing movement from one side to another. You can find something new about this piece every time you look at it. But you know that's just my logical objective opinion.

Just because I am not a master of art eras doesn't mean I don't know about art. Art isn't about seeing what other people tell you to see. It's about... well it's complicated and I don't want to get into it. The fact is, the people who think only people who study art can decide what they think is art are the pseudo intellects.
Anyway, I saw that on the modern art website and assumed it was modern art.

It's not a fact, you're just talking out of your ass. There is an art world outside of the internet. If it's "too complicated" you're coping out of explaining anything.

http://www.ibiblio.org/wm/paint/auth/vinci/joconde/joconde.jpg[img]
Wow, it takes skill, you can tell what it is, and it's beautiful. Looks like real art...

There are millions of 8th graders around the world that can replicate the Mona Lisa to a T, it doesn't matter how much skill things take. The reason that I can tell you know less than jack shit about art is that you can't seem to explain what makes the Mona Lisa beautiful and Starry Night not.

And my originality has to do with the validity of my opinion how...?

Well, I've heard the same rant a hundred times, and nothing of what you said is something that it sounds like you came up with.


I'm sorry you played double or nothing and you lost

modern art:0
ushnor: -260

[Pub Lover]

Originally Posted by ScruU2wice

The reason that I can tell you know less than jack shit about art is that you can't seem to explain what makes the Mona Lisa beautiful and Starry Night not.

'Mona Lisa' is good art because it's a painting of a woman who has tits, whereas 'Stary Night' has stars that only slightly look like boobs, & that church spire is totally phallic & no one likes looking at cocks but lesbians.

I know what I like & what I like is overly large milk sacs.

[ScruU2wice]

my bad


modern art: 30
Ushnor: -260

[glowbelly]

ushnor. let's play a what do you like better game, k? that way we can all figure out just what kind of art that you do like and we will all be happy. ok. ok.

first. pick the painting you like best:



OR

[Rez]

honestly i like the texture of the first one a lot more

[Mr. Fugo]

It's amusing how frequent people try that one out in order to look smart and believe they have conquered the aspects of art they know nothing about.

[maggiekarp]

My mom keeps telling me that art is anything people will buy, like Andy Warhol's soup can stuff. The reason nobody really bought Van Gogh's work while he was alive was because it wasn't art, his life was the art.

(Of course, see keeps telling me that so I'll rip off that damned Happy Bunny crap and get millions of dollars )

I told a friend of mine that and he said "What about buttplugs? People buy those. Are they art?"

But that was before I saw handmade glass buttplugs, or the ridiculously large ones on the internet

I'm still trying to find out what real art is

[Rosenstern]

Originally Posted by maggiekarp

I'm still trying to find out what real art is

Somebody please correct me if I'm wrong here.

The word "art" comes from the Latin word "ars", meaning skill. Back then, anything from painting to plowing was art. I assume our word "skill", comes from some other language. Our connotation of the word art eventually and accidently went to mean specifically fine art. So, really, in the purest form of the word, all skills are artful. Even buttplug-making.

And Ushnor, you try building a good-looking electric fan!

[CrazyBlackDude]

Originally Posted by glowbelly

ushnor. let's play a what do you like better game, k? that way we can all figure out just what kind of art that you do like and we will all be happy. ok. ok.

first. pick the painting you like best:



OR

I wanna play! I like the second one more!

[GADZOOKS]

This game is for Whites Only, black dude.

[Ushnor]

Originally Posted by Mr. Fugo

It's amusing how frequent people try that one out in order to look smart and believe they have conquered the aspects of art they know nothing about.

I was angry and tired. And I sure as hell knew it wouldn't make me look smart


EDIT: I was angry becaus ethis talentless hacks are scamming pepople. I'm mad because people are saying thorwing paint on a canvis is art.