OAO is my best friend

[CaptainBubba]

OAO3405: So what are you Captain of, anyway, Bubba?
dscoM0nkie: your mom
OAO3405: That's more of an insult to you than to me.
dscoM0nkie: thats more of an insult to your mom
dscoM0nkie: than your mom
OAO3405: More of an insult to my mom than my mom? That doesn't make sense. Honestly, it's an insult to both you and her.
dscoM0nkie: hey OAO
OAO3405: hey Captain Bubba
dscoM0nkie: I put my finger in your mom's butt
OAO3405: Well that must have been a horrible experience.
dscoM0nkie: not as horrible...
dscoM0nkie: AS YOUR MOM
OAO3405: I'll grant you that it isn't as horrible as her weight.
dscoM0nkie: I will dress you up as a sailor
dscoM0nkie: and make you ea hot dogs suggestively
OAO3405: Too bad I'm the only Mocker who will ever get his hot dog licked.
OAO3405: I'm sleepy.:-(
dscoM0nkie: poor baby
OAO3405: I know.
dscoM0nkie: yunno what I do when I get sleepy?
OAO3405: What?
dscoM0nkie: FUCK YOUR MOM
OAO3405: I always wondered how you broke your penis...
dscoM0nkie: holy fucking christ you suck
dscoM0nkie: like, its not even in an endearing cute nerdish kind of way
OAO3405: Then why am I with the one with the tiny asian fan?
dscoM0nkie: WOOPS
OAO3405: Yeah
dscoM0nkie: I FORGOT YOU THINK AN ASIAN GIRL IN HIGH SCHOOL LIKES YOU
dscoM0nkie: MAN
dscoM0nkie: FUCK
OAO3405: No, I know she does.
dscoM0nkie: TEACH MY
OAO3405: Teach what?
dscoM0nkie: your ways
dscoM0nkie: how did you get a tiny asain fan?
dscoM0nkie: I feel a little ashamed asking
dscoM0nkie: i mean, im almost 19... and i guess you probably know more aobut getting tiny asian girls to like you
dscoM0nkie: kinda sad really
OAO3405: The key is, after you dance with them, never talk to them again unless they same something later. It might be a few weeks.
OAO3405: *say, not same
OAO3405: Damn, I'm fucking tired.
dscoM0nkie: hold on lemme open word so i can copy paste this
dscoM0nkie: fight it man!
dscoM0nkie: i have to know this shit!
OAO3405: lol
dscoM0nkie: cmon please
OAO3405: Be indifferent with people.
OAO3405: I find that works.
dscoM0nkie: alright man. ill take your word
OAO3405: Yeah.
dscoM0nkie: So how much actually comes out?
OAO3405: It's even working better with the tall asian chick.
OAO3405: What are you talking about?
dscoM0nkie: semen
dscoM0nkie: from their penis
dscoM0nkie: how much?
OAO3405: None, because they don't have one.
dscoM0nkie: HOLY SHIT
dscoM0nkie: :o
OAO3405: Tiny asian female fans.
dscoM0nkie: well yea dude, i thought they had penises
dscoM0nkie: fuck man
dscoM0nkie: fuck
OAO3405: Nah, they just have powerful vaginas capable of blasting Ki waves.
OAO3405: Which makes them super-snappers in bed.
OAO3405: I should know.
OAO3405: So, will there be a new I-Mock thread tonight?
dscoM0nkie: yes
OAO3405: It isn't funny this time, though.
OAO3405: I'm too sleepy to even be as witty as I was last time.

[CaptainBubba]

And new on his profile:





My current workout routine.
For those of you who are like me and want to strength train but don't really have access or time to hit the weights, here's what I do:

- Spend 30 minutes on an elevated treadmill, or walk/jog/run. This is your warm-up and cardio.

- Stretch. This is important. Stretching allows you to perform better on strength training exercises, and improves flexibility.

- Perform 200 bicycle manuevers.

- Perform 100 crunches.

- Perform 50 bridges.

- Perform 15 push-ups, bringing your chin to the floor each time. (Set 1)

- Perform 40 jump squats.

- Perform 15 push-ups, bringing your chin to the floor each time. (Set 2)

- Stretch again.

- Warm down.

Things I'm considering changing:

- Incorporating claps into the push-up routine.

- Incorporating a jump-rope.

Keep in mind that:

- I'm a fencer, and therefore am focusing on lower body strength/power and core stability, although I'm trying to enhance upper body strength/power as well.

- Depending on your level of fitness, you may need to tone down or ratchet up the intensity of these exercises (# of reps is the most obvious way). These are really just guidelines for those who don't know where to begin.

- These exercises are likely not as effective as weight training. In fact, I'd like to hit the weights myself soon...

- I take no liabiity for any health issues or injuries resulting from my program or advice.

[HickMan]

asians are TROUBLE!

[CaptainBubba]

OAO3405: Kashi Lean Crunch coming right at ya.
OAO3405: That shit is amazing.
OAO3405: It's like an orgasm in my mouth, but healthy at the same time.

[The One and Only...]

You gotta finish it, bastard.

[GADZOOKS]

Keep in mind that:

- I'm a fencer, and therefore am focusing on lower body strength/power and core stability, although I'm trying to enhance upper body strength/power as well.

[Anonymous]

Originally Posted by CaptainBubba

OAO3405: So, will there be a new I-Mock thread tonight?
dscoM0nkie: yes
OAO3405: It isn't funny this time, though.
OAO3405: I'm too sleepy to even be as witty as I was last time.

:/

[Schimid]

OAO3405: Nah, they just have powerful vaginas capable of blasting Ki waves.

Okay, that was funny. :=

[Big McLargehuge]

Originally Posted by CaptainBubba

- Perform 200 bicycle manuevers.

i would pay to see OAO do a "bicycle manuever"

[The One and Only...]

Then gimme some money and a webcam.

[kellychaos]

Visual (and I know that they're contrived):

CaptainBubba and OAO running through a field of daisies.

CaptainBubba and OAO sharing a single milk shake with two silly straws.

CaptainBubba and OAO running along a beach holding hands.

CaptainBubba and OAO sharing a mess of spaghetti and discovering, Lady and the Tramp style, that they're slurping on the same noodle.

CaptainBubba pushing OAO on a swing ... OAO gleefully kicing his legs and yelling "Higher! Higher!".

CaptainBubba challenging OAO to a fencing duel and, when OAO has discovered to his suprise that CaptainBubba has won, slaps him playfully on the ass with his foil.