some questions on how you deal with having a crush

[Rez]

RESEARCH PROJECT

*What defines a good strong crush for you personally? How does it make you behave/act? (i.e. I lock myself in my room, I kill animals, I buy lots of breathmints etc. The more examples the better!)

*How would you define a good strong crush in general, not specific to you?

Have you ever had a strong crush on someone you've never spoken to?

*When you are infatuated with someone do you prefer the company of others or yourself?

When you are infatuated with someone do you feel high most of the time or low? Do you feel something else entirely? What?

When you have a strong crush do you generally try to repress those feelings?

Do you tell people about it or keep it to yourself?

*Can people you know tell that you have a crush without you having to tell them? Can you tell with anyone you know?

Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not?

Is lust a type of love?

Here's an abridged abridged version of the scene in Trolius and Crisyde where Trolius, after seeing Crisyde for the first time falls into the depths of infatuation hell:

"Devoting himself to the thought of Cressida...Troilus...became the very slave of love. He set at
naught every other charge, but to gaze on her as often as he could; thinking so to appease his hot fire, which thereby only burned the hotter...love deprived him of sleep, appetite, he pretended he was sick to allay suspicion...Bewailing his sad lot, ensnared, wishing that he was dead, and praying ever that his lady might give him kind look, Troilus is surprised in his chamber by his friend...Troilus pitifully beseeches his friend to leave him to die alone, for die he must, from a cause which he must
keep hidden."

After reading this, do you believe that Trolius's reaction to Crisyde resembles at all what your reaction to crush would be or have been?

Is Chaucer's idea of infatuation/love at first sight archaic or obselete in your opinion? Why or why not?
Is it realistic?

Is this a concievable way for a guy to behave?

[Helm]

*What defines a good strong crush for you personally?

The overwhelming feeling of lust over someone. Usually over someone you've just met but not only.


*How does it make you behave/act?

I can't stop thinking about the person. I find even his personality quirks endearing, also overlook any real problems any sober mind could spot from a mile away. Periodically being overcome with feelings of anxiety or restlessness. Sometimes, depending on how forceful the personality of the other person is, I might suffer from lack of confidence, or inexplicably, I might find myself behaving completely overconfident (I think in an endearing way, not an asshole way, but I guess the only difference between the two is in the other person and if she is attracted to me as well). Depending on how 'grounded' the crush is ( meaning, if you *know* you can get there if you tried and the other person has expressed interest) any of these effects could be stronger, or weaker.

To an extent, the effects can be willfully depressed, or indulged in.

*How would you define a good strong crush in general, not specific to you?

I'd have to say that you can't stop thinking about the person, their physical features or small things they did or said is a good indication. Obviously, coupled with a very strong sexual attraction, but that's not really a prequisite. A smaller crush might start on the grounds of personality alone, and then you see one's physical presence is a different light also.

*Have you ever had a strong crush on someone you've never spoken to?

Yes. Check the true frustrating love stories thread in the backups for my most strong case. Nowdays I never speak to women I find attractive, and even if they are introduced to me or something, I might flirt but I keep myself in check. I don't know if this is useful to your research though, because my way of life is not demographically usual, as I abstain completely.

*When you are infatuated with someone do you prefer the company of others or yourself?

depends on what my chances are. If there's a strong possibility of something happening, I'd say solitary, so one can devote an effort to make it happen. If however you know you've got no chance or where ( softly or not ) brushed off (which doesn't usually signify the end of the crush at all) then I'd say I'd seek company to keep my mind off of that.

*When you are infatuated with someone do you feel high most of the time or low? Do you feel something else entirely? What?

Mentioned.

*When you have a strong crush do you generally try to repress those feelings?

Mentioned. Yes.

*Do you tell people about it or keep it to yourself?

I am open to anyone who might ask, including the person I have the crush on, but I try to make it clear that my honestly doesn't mean I'm 'making a move'. I have no shame of these things, and anyone who wants to know, will know.

**Can people you know tell that you have a crush without you having to tell them? Can you tell with anyone you know?

I don't understand the phrasing well, but as I consider anything I say openly to not be a secret (unless it's somehow otherwise implied, but in this case it's not) to be freely circulated according to anyone's discretion. I don't 'send' people to hook me up, if that's what you mean. That's for seventh graders. I'd be somewhat ticked off however, if I mentioned my crush to a friend, and he attempted to 'get us together' on his own, since as my friend he should know that I am not interested by default.

*Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not?

I certainly believe in lust at first sight, yes. And I do believe you can intellectually fall in love with people in amazingly short periods of time, too. But I don't believe in 'love' if you mean the term as mystically or esoterically charged.

*Is lust a type of love?

Lust is lust. Intellectual attraction is intellectual attraction. When the two are centered on the same person, you could say that that situation is the closest one I relate to the general concept of 'love', although that doesn't mean I accept said concept. So the question is invalid.

After reading this, do you believe that Trolius's reaction to Crisyde resembles at all what your reaction to crush would be or have been?

Generally no, as to 'become a slave of love' requires a certain romantic mindset I completely lack. It might seem as a passive result of 'love', but I think it's a very determined choice to give in in such a way. Furthermore, while the idea of 'faking illness' or other such cries of attention might come to mind if the other person doesn't seem interested, I do not think I'd go that far.

Is Chaucer's idea of infatuation/love at first sight archaic or obselete in your opinion? Why or why not?
Is it realistic?

I somewhat answered to that before, but it seems the modern trend in western society is to further trivialize love, or love as it's shallowly understood. However, I think most people 'reserve' that type of romantic appreciation for really really special people nevertheless. So a girl might be the perfect cosmo open relationship experimenting girl generally, but if she falls for some guy hard, she reverts to the mindset of her mother. I believe it to be completely unrealistic in that it doesn't relate to reality in any significant way, but that doesn't really say much, as reality is irrelevant when the biochemicals start pumping.

Is this a concievable way for a guy to behave?

Concievable, sure. Suggested? No.

Hope my answers help.

[Rez]

**Can people you know tell that you have a crush without you having to tell them? Can you tell with anyone you know?


what i mean by that is are your friends or relatives able to tell that you're infatuated with someone even if you havent said a word of it. do your outward actions betray you?

and yes it has helped, thank you

[Helm]

I'm sure a person with at least a little bit of understanding of body language can easily spot people who are overtly infatuated. The most glaring the case, the easiest. Even by how someone is tactfully ignoring another person, or evading his eyes you can tell. I think when I'm interested in someone, it's really blatant.

[SUFFER]

maybe you should just kill them then you wont have to worry about it anymore




im sorry im in bastard mode tonight

[glowbelly]

awwwww, it's ok if there's anything we understand it's bastard mode am i right guys?

ps: i know this thread is all about me.

[Rez]

no, NO!

RESEARCH PROJECT

[ziggytrix]

you can't do legitimate research in a humor forum you goddamn slacker!

[glowbelly]

seriously, rez, it's ok. i get it a lot.

[Helm]

women

[glowbelly]

abstinent greeks

[executioneer]

[DamnthatDavid]

*What defines a good strong crush for you personally? How does it make you behave/act?

I become jealous when the women flirts with other guys.
I get Hopeful that the women will show signs of 'crush-acceptance'
A feeling of being completely empty when she isn't around.

*How would you define a good strong crush in general, not specific to you?

A crush is like when you have just broken a major bone. You want to use it, you want it working, but the damn thing is just mocking you with it's uselessness. Same with a crush, you want it to be more, you want to see the crush move on. A crush is heartache.

Have you ever had a strong crush on someone you've never spoken to? No.

*When you are infatuated with someone do you prefer the company of others or yourself?
I prefer to hang out with my friends, who are also single. That way we can moan and bitch about women being crazy.

When you are infatuated with someone do you feel high most of the time or low? Do you feel something else entirely? What?
I feel high when the women is around, and low when they leave.

When you have a strong crush do you generally try to repress those feelings?
Depends on the person. But during my last big one, I just acted... different, all my friends saw it. They also saw that she was leading me on. And many people thought we where already going out. I got so hopeful from what I heard about how she acted around me, and me her, I told her I had fallen for her, and was crushing bad. I got shot down. Big time. Now she doesn't even act as a friend anymore. So I've been repressing every other crush from then on.

Do you tell people about it or keep it to yourself?
I tell very close friends, and only after the crush lasts for awhile.

*Can people you know tell that you have a crush without you having to tell them? Can you tell with anyone you know?

Yes, I get very protective of the girl. And I get... "overly zealous to please" And I can't read body language worth shit. Comes to a shock when someone starts going out with someone else in my group of friends.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not?
No, Love is Blind.

Is lust a type of love?
No, lust is the animalistic nature of a human.

Here's an abridged abridged version of the scene in Trolius and Crisyde where Trolius, after seeing Crisyde for the first time falls into the depths of infatuation hell:

"Devoting himself to the thought of Cressida...Troilus...became the very slave of love. He set at
naught every other charge, but to gaze on her as often as he could; thinking so to appease his hot fire, which thereby only burned the hotter...love deprived him of sleep, appetite, he pretended he was sick to allay suspicion...Bewailing his sad lot, ensnared, wishing that he was dead, and praying ever that his lady might give him kind look, Troilus is surprised in his chamber by his friend...Troilus pitifully beseeches his friend to leave him to die alone, for die he must, from a cause which he must
keep hidden."

After reading this, do you believe that Trolius's reaction to Crisyde resembles at all what your reaction to crush would be or have been?

At times, yes, depends on the size of the crush. But I have never had love at first sight. It has always been slow for me. Getting to know the girl. The crush happens when aspects of the girls personality or hobbies coincide with my own. Then I start believing her and I would get along perfectly.

Is Chaucer's idea of infatuation/love at first sight archaic or obselete in your opinion? Why or why not?
Is it realistic? It is not realistic for me, it might be true for someone else.

Is this a concievable way for a guy to behave?
Depends on the guy.

[sports]

Have you ever had a strong crush on someone you've never spoken to?

Yes, damn you teenage hormones.

When you have a strong crush do you generally try to repress those feelings?

Sometimes.

Is lust a type of love?

Yes...but not true love.

[glowbelly]

how insightful :o

rez's research is complete!

[Esuohlim]

lol

[Rez]

i wanted OAO's opinion

but yes, research is complete. a lot of hooey on modern and archaic/traditional forms of dealing with a crush and how it relates to that quote i put up there.. thanks all.

"some find themselves to be more sexually adventurous, such as an anonymous poster dealing with their overwrought issues on sexuality in a franky informative manner: 'i no longer have any fear or disgust for anal sex of which i am on the receiving end'"