Missed Connections - DDAAF Style

[McClain]

Sorry I Ran You Over With My Truck, Anime Girl! - m4w

Me - Drunk Driver, black Durango, halogen headlights. You - Anime Fan, enroute to cosplay event wearing what I can only assume was a Red Riding Hood costume.

At first I was aiming to hit you because I thought I saw some tenticles coming out of your vagina, or maybe I saw your hands and legs bound together and a purple alien was snacking on your privates. It was really foggy out and damn was I three sheets to the wind.
Once I got close enough I realized it wasn't s a hentai scene and it was the whiskey messing with my head. You were just some cosplay freak. I tried my darndest to turn the wheel but evidently I just BARELY missed! (Have you ever tried to drive while double fising 750mL of Bushmills in each hand? NOT EASY.)
It's a shame, too, because based on the autopsy photos they showed me in the interrogation room I'd say you used to be pretty hot. You were young, too. Were those braces I saw, or were those remnants from my Durango's chrome grill? Maybe they were part of your costume?
Look, I'm really sorry I hit you. If it's any consolation, my last fleeting thought before you were turned to Gravel Mash was that maybe me and you could get dressed up and do one of your costume parties.
It still sounds like a good idea. I'll be a gimp. You'll be a... well, a corpse, really.
Call me?