May 20th, 2012, 08:52 PM
I went downtown to interview homeless people today for a school thing. It was a pretty selfish dick move and I only did it because I don't personally know any interesting people. Anyway.
I met this 50-something balding black guy, this fucking batshit insane guy, who said his name was "Casanova, Romeo" (he specifically instructed me to include the comma). After he told me his name, he stole my notebook and wrote an entire page of gibberish after "AKA," apparently because this was his entire name. Said gibberish includes "'FutboL,' Espanol/Ingles, Baton nicAAAi, Rouge, (Football), Louisiana, 'Shaq' ORLando magie N.B.A, 'CRuel WinteR,'" and "BananaRama." That's nearly verbatim, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.
He wrote all that and more on the counter of a food stand I took him to, since the deal I made was lunch for an interview, and the cashier looked like she was about to call the goddamn police after a minute or two. I looked over his shoulder to see what the fuck he was doing and at that exact moment he wrote "DON'T TURN AROUND" and scared the shit out of me.
Eventually I bought him some beer and a plastic cup of wine, then promised to mention in my "article" (I kept telling him I was a student and not a real journalist, but I guess he thought this was going into a newspaper anyway) that he was "single, bachelor, available, stag, alone, by self." I promptly got the fuck out of there and interviewed someone who didn't periodically hold his lighter above his head so that "aliens would see it;" that went a bit better.