They sought it with Google, they sought it with "Search";
They pursued it with links and hope...
I have looked for this, didn't find. Hope it wasn't here before.
Recently, I was waging war with my sister in our room, when suddenly my brother came and told us about the "new Scooby-Doo" in the TV. Curious, we both went to see what was the fuss all about. I took a seat, looked at the TV screen, and died of irreversible brain damage.
The new Scooby-Doo series is called
"Shaggy & Scooby-Doo Get a Clue!" Two things are evident right away. First, the classic plot - "criminal disguised as monsters" - is gone never to return. Now there's an evil genius bound on - what else - taking over the world, and he's the badguy in
every friggin episode. Wow. How incredibly ori-freaking-ginal.
Second, the titular terrible two are the main characters, and most of the episodes is apparently about them. Which is a good thing, because this way little time is spent looking at the horrible, horrible things that happened to the rest of the cast.
Three, the Mystery Machine has been upgraded so it can now SuPeR TrAnSfOrM! Coolzor! After all, what screams
"OMIGOSH I'M SO INCREDIBLY COOL THAT I'M GONNA FREEZE" more than having a superxor-coolxor-transformingxor-carxor!
Oh, and fourth, the characters - to cite Wikipedia - "have also been re-designed to look like animated versions of how they appeared in the live-action Scooby-Doo films." In other words, they look like retards after a heavy drinking night. Where they served illegal drinks. Made of something with a unpronounceable name. And that was 15 years old. And came from some weird Eastern European or maybe Middle Eastern country.
Let us take a look at the new team. Unless you have a weak heart, in which case you'd be better off not looking. Old look top, new look bottom.
SCOOBY: He appears to be relatively unscathed save for his eyes, which are now blasphemously small. Luckily he still has his canine scent to help him see. Right? Notice that on the 'new' picture, he looks like his hind legs has been fused together; guess Shaggy got angry with his pet one day... How can he move, the poor thing?
SHAGGY: Look at this Super-Coolzor T-shirt and the impressive pants! And this orange thing coming out of one of his sleeves! So much cooler than the previous outfit! You rule, man!!! Uh, no. Now if only his hairdo wasn't so pathetic... He looks definitely like he had a heavy drinking night. Also, he suffered from eye shrinkage.
VELMA: If you took a hundred monkeys, gave them a hundred typewriters and an infinite amount of time, they still wouldn't manage to type anything even remotely resembling the horror of Velma's new 'do. But hey, she's a nerd, her head tends to become square-shaped over time. Her glasses too. As for her eyes, they actually seem to be
enlarged.
DAFNE: Throw away the old, obsolete look. I give you... NEW DAFNE! With no more messy hair! ...Um, why the long shoes? This only decreases her sex appeal! Are you ignoring your male demographic or what? On an interesting side note, her eyes weren't shrunk. Is she immune to the eye-shrinking rays?
SUSPICIOUS!
FRED: This new hairdo also sucks. The poor guy looks like a rhinoceros fell on his head and flattened it mightly (while shrinking his eyes at the same time). Also, he's got a new blue... um... jersey? jumper? blouse? terrible thing? I honestly don't know how this thing is called in English.
Now that we've miraclously managed to see this without committing suicide, I shall rate the new Scooby-Doo series. I give it - ta-da-dam! - a 10! (Out of 684, that is.) This is a genuine example of what I would call
"jumping the shark". Dedicate a moment of silence in the memory of the guys who made this new series, since they have been probably killed off by angry mobs by now.
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