Your weirdest dreams?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Originally Posted by Tadao

40/40 days of no ejaculation?

....yeah. My record is seriously 39 days and then I met my ex girlfriend and ruined my streak. I equate a general betterness in my life trying that method too. The Bills went 5/0 during that time, immediately after Bills started sloping, Edwards got concussed and all around general badness.

[ZeldaQueen]

I had another "evil world" dream, completing the triology that includes my "human pizza/poisoned chocolate" dream and my "red vines taking over the mall" dream. In this latest dream, there was a woman who had a poisonous touch. If she touched you, you fell over dead a few seconds later. As with the other dreams, no one seemed to notice or care.

And Kitsa, don't worry about having forum-related dreams. There's a member of Zelda Harmony (the site I'm on that were're making the movie of) who's dreamed twice about our site. Both dreams involve all of the site members meeting in real life to discuss aspects of making the film.

[Babs]

My dream last night was AMAZING. It had me making love with the most amazing woman EVER, Amy Poehler. The only weird thing is when she went down on me, her face turned into the shape of ant eaters.

[ZeldaQueen]

Two distinct parts to my dream last night:

The first was that I was standing on a frozen river. The ice broke and I fell in. Because it was running water, I was swept along under the ice, unable to get out. I thought I would die for sure, but then I somehow came to the end of the river, where the ice was melted into a weird slush. I thought about this dream a lot today when I tried to strangle myself.

The other part of the dream was that my dad and brother and I were at Kennywood and we were all going to ride this dark ride, akin to Laff in the Dark or the Gold Rush (neither of which exist today). I remember it was really long and elaborate. There were tons of scary models and creatures and sounds. Some of the things were so close to the track that I had to twist myself around so that I didn't touch them. At one point, we came to this area where we got out of the car and sat on the floor for awhile while the maniquins and stuff moved around groaning. At this point, I somehow figured out that I was dreaming and the dream then jumped. I was at a water slide. A monstrously HUGE waterslide. As I somehow climbed up it, I overheard a conversation in which a person was complaining that these special dolphins in the water were showing insubordination by singing part of the Cybersix theme song ("From the depths of my soul, I know we will survive/I'm the one they will break with their greed and their pride...")

Then I woke up.

[kahljorn]

my dream last night there was this english chick i was in love with and then a bunch of shit happened like her mom hated me or something and BANNED ME FROM HER COUNTRY ESTATE but then her country estate got attacked by some giant monster, ive prolly been playing too much RE5 and it killed the girl and started chasing me around ;\

UNFORTUNATELY IT DIDNT OBBEY A SINGLE VIDEOGAME LAW AND IT WOULD JUST BURST THROUGH EVER WALL AND DOOR AND IT COULD SOMEHOW EVEN GET YOU IN VENTS.

[King Hadas]

"College students are seen here protesting the continued airing of Mitch Hedberg's Comedy Central Special but they're warned to be cautious because, this just in, Mitch Hedberg is...alive?!" This is how my dream begins. Here, Hedberg has been distorted beyond recognition. He's still a stand-up comic and his hair is the same but he looks more like David Spade and his also a psychopathic serial killer.

After the news sequence I find myself driving down the road. I notice my door is slightly ajar, I stop to close it. When I turn around Mitch Hedberg is sitting in the passenger seat. He looks at me as if to say drive and I do. He doesn't threaten me but I feel threatened just by his presence, soon though we've started up a disjointed conversation and I've warmed up to the guy. In fact, I've decided to put him up for the night. He may be a murderer but I don't see what that's go to do with me.

I set him up in the living room and then I go to bed. I'm having trouble sleeping though, probably because I am sleeping but that thought doesn't strike me at that moment. I roll over and turn on my TV and what do you know, Mitch Hedberg's special is on. It's not his usual routine but I find it funny all the same. While I'm laughing and smiling and watching I suddenly wonder if Mitch Hedberg is in my room watching me. I stare at the half of my room shrouded in darkness with some amusement, then with some horror as I start to make out an outline. A grave voice whispers "here comes the best part."

There's no climax to this dream, I just sort of drift back to reality. I lay in the darkness for awhile recalling in detail who Mitch Hedberg actually was but that doesn't snuff out the fear. I turn on the TV, I think I would have shit myself if Mitch Hedburg's special was on but instead it's the Animal Planet. This doesn't help much either though. It takes me about 15 minutes to work up the courage to get up, walk across the room, and turn on the light....AND THEN MITCH HEDBERG LUNGES OUT OF THE DARKNESS!

[Kitsa]

I had a Mitch Hedberg dream once. I was on a frozen-over parking lot, sliding on my knees, pushing myself along with an oar or stick or something. I passed a car, and since the back door was open I peeked inside. Mitch Hedberg was there in the back seat, shooting up.

I said, "Hey Mitch", and he gave me the finger. I chuckled and said something like "Oh, you" and paddled on.


A couple of nights ago I had a dream in which my grandmother, who died at the beginning of the month, appeared and told me to go clean out her refrigerator. As far as the possibility that the dead actually appear to the living in dreams, I'm not ready to rule that one out. However, I was a strange choice:

1) I live 4 hours away, whereas many of my cousins live 10 mins away and are much more capable.

2) My grandfather is still living and can probably handle disposing of rotten food.

[Kitsa]

I just had one last night about Excedrin. I have really bad postsurgical arthritis and Excedrin is the only thing that helps, so I take a lot of it. I must be totally obsessed with it at a subconscious level.

I dreamed that I had these two bottles of excedrin. They'd switched all their pill colors to the same light green as the fairly-nonfunctional Excedrin Back and Body (see a fun mom wanting to bust her daughter for drugs here). The bottles all looked the same. But when I opened one bottle, it was apparently some new type of excedrin that was made to be inserted up the nostrils.

It had little fins around the middle to hold it up your nose, and tiny print that said FOR NOSTRIL USE ONLY. Apparently something dire would happen if you took it normally. It was supposed to stay in your nose and dissolve congestion (but how could you breathe with a pill up your nose?)

So I put the nose-excedrin in a drawer so I'd remember not to take them, and I poured pills from the other bottle into my hand. But there were nose-excedrin in that bottle, too. Kind of mixed in with the other pills as a promotional thing.

I woke up with heart palpitations. I must be really, really concerned about my excedrin supply.

[ZeldaQueen]

When I was a child, I had a dream that a rhino somehow broke out of a zoo and was wreaking havoc on the city. My parents and I (and brother I assume, he wasn't really in the dream) had planned to hide in our house's cheese cellar, but for some reason we were inside of a bank, performing some boring bank function like transacting a loan or something (this was how I saw banks as a child). My mom, when given the choice between "The quick way and the long way" (literally the teller's words), she chose "the long way". I begged her to hurry up but she said "I'm sorry honey, but this silly woman is taking so long". So I was stuck in the bank, certain I was going to die via rhino while my parents dithered around doing something stupid. It didn't help that people were running by the window, screaming and being followed by the rhino.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Did you end up getting Rhino'd in the bank?

[kahljorn]

man one time i had a dream where i was hanging out at my parents house out front and i was doing drugs but it was like this weird drug where you don't smoke it you just inhale and all this powder gets all up in your lungs and then i was laying on a car looking up at the sky and it started turning red and then i saw a "Cloud" but it turned out it was a rock and i saw it land in the distance and then i looked in the distance and there was a bunch of tornados and then this house by me started getting eroded
then these demons and crazy grim reapers started going house to house and judging people ;o IT ONLY GOT CRAZIER FROM THERE

[ZeldaQueen]

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost

Did you end up getting Rhino'd in the bank?

Luckily no. The dream pretty much ended there. I think it kind of did skip ahead to us hiding in the cheese cellar. I had one of my Mom's old Barbie dolls and for some inexplicable reason, Shaggy and Scooby-Doo were also there.

Zoinks!

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

luckily no scrappy

[ZeldaQueen]

Luckily.

Dunno if this exactly counts as a dream, but I fell asleep in Anthropology and when I woke up, for a few seconds I thought I saw a cereal box flying over the teacher's desk.

[Kitsa]

I dreamed I was back in the big old house I lived in as a teenager, only now it was a duplex. We shared it with some other family, and the middle was open...there was a stairwell in the middle and you could see into both living rooms where it mirror-imaged from one side of the house to the other. No walls on the living rooms for whatever reason.

Anyway, the family on the other side was Indonesian or something, I have no idea why I would dream they were Indonesian, but that's what they were. And there was this old lady in a housecoat with stringy hair who kept coming over from their side to ours. She would go to our fridge and get food out and wander around, going through our shit.

In the dream I was a real bitch about it, if I do say so myself. It never occurred to me that she might be senile or something. Instead, I yelled at her a lot and I think at one point I almost slapped her.

Then one of my old bosses from the hospital showed up and demanded to go through my purse. No idea why, I just handed it to her. She started rummaging through it and then said, "This is unfit for a landfill." (???) She pulled out a pattern in an envelope and told me that was my problem.

The pattern would make either swimsuits or neck braces. She told me I was using the wrong kind of velcro for the neck braces, and it was making me irritable. She insisted that I pick up the right stuff and meet her at her house where she would make it the correct way.

I was grumbling because I had to go to the stupid fabric store and then her stupid house, which in dream-land could only be accessed through secret hallways and passageways around my old high school.

The weird turnaround in the dream is that I was the raving bitch and my old boss was nice, which is completely the wrong way from how it usually went. This is a woman who (in real life) refused to go shopping with her plus-sized daughter lest people think she was fat.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I fell asleep in a history class once. The dream was basically me sitting in history class except I was really good at playing guitar. I dropped my guitar so I bent over to pick it up. Woke up on the floor with my instructor asking why I was on the floor. I told her to pick up my guitar.

[ZeldaQueen]

I fell asleep in a history class once. The dream was basically me sitting in history class except I was really good at playing guitar. I dropped my guitar so I bent over to pick it up. Woke up on the floor with my instructor asking why I was on the floor. I told her to pick up my guitar.

Stuff like that happens to me all of the time (except for the falling on the floor part). Once I fell asleep in Anthropology and dreamt that the teacher had put some weird formula on the overhead projector. I woke up just as I was trying to write it down.

Last night, I dreamt that I was walking somewhere with my dad. We stopped at this house that belonged to a total stranger, rang the bell, and he began to talk to the lady that opened the door. Somehow, I thought that the guy that owned the house hadn't been there for ages and that my dad and I used to literally walk inside when no on was there and look around. I didn't see that as a crime, since we never took or touched anything. I went inside and the house had been converted into a boutique. As I went to leave, one of the sales people gave me a tiny shopping cart with two play-food-type plastic shopping baskets in it. It skipped ahead to me going into a building and walking by a large display of Barbie items. These things were all former Barbie stuff I had, but got rid of (pink refredgerator, stove, shower set, etc).

The dream then skipped to my high school. I was in a practice session for the school's musical, Beauty and the Beast (again). The practice involved the chorus standing around a raised platform (which two of the leads were on), performing. Somehow, I kept forgetting what to do and felt really stupid for that, even though I knew it was only practice. The one director told these two girls that they had to leave their props (hats shaped like Christmas gifts) backstage. The girls complained that it would take too long to get them, so I was told to wait backstage and hand the hats to the girls when they needed them. I was walking on the stage, when I somehow had a vision of a cast member stepping on a nail and getting blood poisoning. I looked on the stage floor and found a piece of wood with a huge nail sticking out of it. I picked it up and handed it to the directors. I also somehow found several eggs on the stage and I took those, broke them, and started mixing them in a bowl. As I mixed, I suddenly realized that I was no longer in high school and had just snuck to this rehearsal without my parents knowing. Seeing as it was late at night, I'd be in so much trouble.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

how much sleep do you get a night?

[ZeldaQueen]

7-8 hours, depending.

Anthropology's one of my earlier classes and it's really boring, so I have trouble staying awake in it.

Oh yeah, I remembered another part of my dream last night. I was standing in my living room, watching my brother play some video game. For some reason, I kept taking my pants off and putting them back on. I had no idea why I was doing this and was really embarrassed about it. I was also surprised that my brother didn't seem to be noticing this (in real life if he saw that, he would literally say "What the f*** are you doing?")

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I had some dream last night where I walked in someplace. Some guy was badmouthing Foxy Shazam. I walked over to him, informed him of how amazing Foxy Shazam is and then walked out into another dream.

[ZeldaQueen]

I hate when dreams end abruptly. Especially when they're ones that you want to see all the way to the end

Like the one where I was going to see the movie Ghost Rider a month before it actually came out (the movie was meh, but I was really excited to go see it).

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I've taught myself to get back to the dream if I have enough time to go back to sleep. Sometimes if fucks up though and just becomes a distorted version of what was happening.

[ZeldaQueen]

Seriously? How do you do that?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

concentration and large amounts of will. lol....practice too.

[Kitsa]

I read that "large amounts of lol" and I was about to congratulate you on an excellent phrase before I reread it.

I just had a doozy. I was back in college and I was taking some sort of...I don't know, it was in the Speech program, I think. The program director was this prim, willowy, fakey woman I never got along with when I worked at the hospital. I was thrown into some sort of thing where I had to work one-on-one with people, one adult and one kid, and I'm not sure what I was doing wrong but this woman and the Speech majors above me were in a perpetual state of outrage at me.

Only they'd never tell me why they were outraged. I'd approach the director and ask her, and her eyes would just get wide behind her little glasses and she'd storm off. Like having to actually talk to me was more than she could handle. Some bitchy Speech major I didn't even know cornered me in the school Speech office, where she folded her arms and said, "I am so furious at you I don't even know what to do." I was trying to ask her why, and she would just cross her arms and flare her nostrils.

Then I realized that I had this piece of gum in my mouth, and every time I tried to talk the gum would get bigger and bigger. Eventually I spit it out and it was the size of a tennis ball. I don't remember if I had gum the rest of the time, but maybe that's what they were so pissed at me for. Anyway, I spit it out and looked up and the Speech major was gone.

I left, looking for her through a maze of corridors that was half one of the colleges I went to and half the back hallways of the hospital where I worked, and I walked up a flight of stadium steps to find that the school was now ringed with the peripheral buildings of a trendy mall. And I had gum in my mouth again.