I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[kahljorn]

i like kurosawa films but they are so boring. I always expect his samurai films to have like cool samurai's in them but he always gays it up.

[Tadao]

I like his samurais

[kahljorn]

they're fags and they don't even look good when they swing their swords.

The only guy that looks good in Seven Samurai, from what I remember, dies a stupid and meaningless death.

[Tadao]

Yeah, that's was the whole point.

[kahljorn]

Maybe, but it doesn't change the fact that his other "samurais" looked like shit when they held their weapons.

[Tadao]

They were not master swordsman back in Feudal Japan. That is all legend stuff. They were just guys with the right to carry swords. They waved them around in the air a lot cause threatening a peasant was much easier than killing one.

[Tadao]

For the Samurai with wit and style I watch Lone Wolf and Cub.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lone_Wolf_and_Cub#Films

[Kitsa]

I probably couldn't physically handle a farm, but there's a japanese-style house nearby that I've been lusting after for years. It was beautiful, it even had a little stream with a footbridge. There's no way in hell I'd ever be able to afford it, but I liked to look at it and dream, you know? I thought about where I'd put weeping cherry trees (so the petals would float on the water) and that sort of thing.

Then some hicks bought it, painted the beautiful feudal-style timbers some weirdass burgundy color, and put shitty country art all over the place (like the plywood "fat woman bending over garden" cutouts).

I damn near cried. If I ever come into some huge amount of money, which will be never, I'll walk up to their front door with a wad of cash just so I can put things back to how they're supposed to be.

[Tadao]

Well, when I said farm I mean something that has neighbors at a distance. I didn't mean to actually grow anything. Get a bunch of goats and rent them out to people.

[Womti]

[kahljorn]

So basically samurais weren't trained how to hold a sword ;\ And the samurai technique is non-existent.

Just like most soldiers don't really know how to hold or use their weapons and they are never trained

I'm pretty sure FUEDAL JAPAN is really the ONLY time-period in which samurai's were bad asses, since after feudal japan was obliterated and absolutism rose during the meiji restoration the samurai class was essentially abolished, and all swords were taken away during the great sword hunt.

[Tadao]

Originally Posted by kahljorn

Just like most soldiers don't really know how to hold or use their weapons and they are never trained

What are you talking about? This is about Japan.

They locked themselves off from the whole world and never developed and their techniques. They were ruled by one Emperor on a very small Island. If there was any fighting going on it was assassination by poison, not great waves of Samurais fighting in fields of bamboo. The Samurai had nothing to do but look tough. Yeah it doesn't sound pretty, sorry.

[kahljorn]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sengoku_period

Japan was constantly fighting themselves. And they weren't always secluded.

They weren't always ruled by an "Emperor" either. or at least, the emperor wasn't always important. See "FEUDAL LORD."

most of the samurai were trained in the basic samurai technique and in the basic way to hold a sword.

KENDO is the name of the samurai sword technique I think. What the fuck is wrong with you? You think just because they weren't associating with the outside world means that they wouldn't have developed their own sword techniques? Stupid.
this conversation is pointless because you're either an idiot or you're acting like an idiot. Go play a samurai fighting videogame or something.

[Tadao]

Yes they were fighting, but not with samurai, Samurai were created as cops because.. oh fuck it, why the fuck do I care if you get it right. You don't even know what Kendo is. What ever.

[Dr. Boogie]

Board veterans will recall that weapon technology in feudal Japan was revolutionized by the advent of the Gen Bo.

[kahljorn]

Okay tadao. You win. The samurai's weren't trained how to hold their swords, there was no such thing as a sword technique or martial arts or anything, and samurais never went to war or had to fight any battles.
None.

pretty much they sat around all the time. Also japan has always been unified under one ruler and the meiji restoration is just a historical illusion created by fancy pants americans.
Whatever about kendo. KENJUTSU I GUESS IS THE APPROPRIATE NAME.

Who cares WHO the samurai were fighting? It's not like samurais can only fight other samurai's with their techniques or some shit. There are just certain ways to cut, governed by laws of physics and the anatomic structure of the person using the sword.
Also, I at least admitted that it MIGHT have been called KENDO, and this wasn't even central to anything that i said (frankly, its irrelevant). You are stating everything that you are stating as facts, when the historical details don't match.

how about some exerpts from some internet sites?:

War played a central part in the history of Japan. Warring clans controlled much of the country. A chief headed each clan; made up of related families. The chiefs were the ancestors of Japan's imperial family. The wars were usually about "land." Only 20% of the land was fit for farming. The struggle for control of that land eventually gave rise to the Samurai.

The Samurai rose out of the continuing battles for land among three main clans: the Minamoto, the Fujiwara and the Taira. The Samurai eventually became a class unto themselves between the 9th and 12th centuries A.D. They were called by two names: Samurai (knights-retainers) and Bushi (warriors). Some of them were related to the ruling class. Others were hired men. They gave complete loyalty to their Daimyo (feudal landowners) and received land and position in return. Each Daimyo used his Samurai to protect his land and to expand his power and rights to more land.

Late 1200's A.D. --- Mongols invade Japan. The Samurai defeat the Mongols after many years of fierce fighting. The Samurai developed a style of formation combat and depended more on the sword as a primary weapon in battle.

1400'a A.D. --- Master swordsmen established schools to teach their style of ken-jutsu.

those quotes pretty much annihilate every premise you stated. They weren't secluded. They had wars with people outside of them. Samurai were used to expand power and rights to more land. There are "master swordsmen." They had their own styles/techniques. I also found a quote saying that the right to bear swords wasn't enacted until after 1200.
You're a failure. If anyone wants to, feel free to split this into a philosophy board thread, cause i know those quotes are going to be annoying....

[Tadao]

Uh huh.

[Tadao]

Your the kinda guy that believes ninjas existed.

[kahljorn]

Tadao, buster of myths.

YOURE A BUSTER IF I EVAH SAW ONE.

[Aaarg]

i believe taodoaw on this issue because he's asian

and because if i don't he might throw an axe through me like i'm a kitchen wall

[Tadao]

Asians are the ones who perpetuate and romanticize the myths. It was the Chinese who were the great warriors and martial art experts. Mongolians in particular.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Woot for the mongolians! My ex girlfriend looked really asian so she researched her ancestry and somehow found out all Pollocks might be asian because the Mongols took them over for a few centuries.

So I might be Irish, French-Canadian and Polish-Mongolion.

Fuck you all.

[kahljorn]

The mongols ruled a lot of people it doesn't make those people asian. That's ridiculous. Germany and russia both ruled poland at some point so you might really be german russian and mongolian.

Okay i'm going to say that irish people are all actually frogs who can leap 7,0000000 feeet and native americans were actually irish people who made lucky leaps (thats why four leaf clovers have such a reputation as being lucky; the people carrying these were the ones who survived the leap and didn't land in the ocean or have their bodies crushed or accidently go into space). I have some irish ancestors and some native american ancestors (supposedly) so you should believe what I'm saying even though the facts are against it

[kahljorn]

It was the Chinese who were the great warriors and martial art experts. Mongolians in particular.

Since when were mongolians and chinese the same people?
And just because chinese were "great warriors and martial art experts" doesn't mean samurais didn't have any sword techniques or martial arts. Can you please exercise some common sense before you open your dumb mouth?

[Tadao]