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Sethomas · #1

Yes, this deserves its own thread. Every time I think about OAO, I get an aneurysm and have to stop what I'm doing. So, I'm doing something about it. Hopefully this puts an end to an era.

To The One and Only:
I thought I’d just point out a few things.

You strive to be an intellectual, but the one thing detaining you from ever reaching such an accolade is not simply your impeccable lack of character, but more your abounding negative character. You came to the philosophy board under the guise of an Ivory Tower rhetorician (not that you did so very well), and after some time you decided that this provided an a posteriori to become a valued member of the I-mockery community as a whole. It’s doubtful that real fraternité exists presently in the boards, and it’s debatable whether it ever did at all. But you obviously have fought hard for acceptance of some sort, and to do this you must have decided to “open up” to us. Hence, your copious literature in the Loveline forum and more recently in your "outrageous" thread.

These posts revealed the crux of your identity: you are so naïve that you don’t realize you’re naïve. Regardless of how astutely you measure your present success with the ladies, your episode with Marissa or Melissa or Murphy or whatever revealed that your megalomaniacal quest for intellectual superiority has left a total void, eine ganze Entäuserung, in your social coping skills. This implies that intellectualism, pseudo as it may be, was the result of acute incompatibility with any actual social setting. You couldn’t compete with the alpha crowd, so you attempted to justify yourself with superiority in that in which you “excelled”. Your ardent support of Libertarianism suggests that you desired some niche into which you might fit, the irony thereof not withstanding.

For some time, as evidenced by your expansion on the boards, you have decided that your character should be more evolved beyond an loquacious automaton programmed with economic theory. So, you told us about your first “encounter” with the opposite sex, even though any sliver of common sense would dictate that your boasting about it would be akin to Edward the Confessor bragging about his torturous execution being an orgasmic rimjob.

So, you’re naïve in that you’re socially inept. That’s just one strike, right? Not quite. For years sucked into the abyss of your own self-pity, you’ve come to be the gravitational center of your entire universe to such an abnormal extent that you’re blind to anything but revelry in your own greatness. I’m sure you’re capable of getting good enough grades and test scores that you can place into a good college (I know from experience that the socially helpless excel at such), and if you don’t come to terms with reality before then it will destroy you. As Vonnegut says, the travesty of joining a large collective is that you invariably meet Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. You’re intelligent, but not remarkably so. You’re not excruciatingly ugly, but that you could become a model is laughable. Your habits, hobbies, interests, and personality might impress the local hilljacks, but any Ivy Leaguer would choke on their scones before finding anything impressive about them. If you’re as egocentric as you posit yourself to be on the boards then your universe will inevitably collapse once you enter the real world.

So, it comes back to your painful lack of character. The problem with creating a thread about how “outrageous” you are is that it thereby lays down all your cards. You reduced yourself to a few sentences with the clear intention of impressing us, and you simply fail. For sake of comparison I’d gladly enumerate my own eccentricities (including my large penis), but that would defeat the purpose. Why? Because fighting to establish identity only proves invariably a lack thereof. Come on, did you really think that telling people on the internet that you’re a body-builder, and then photographing yourself in an unintentionally hilarious flexed pose, can be anything other than pathetic? In my high school years I had a hell of a lot to learn, and I was at times so pathetic it burns me to remember those instances. I have plenty to learn still! But I learned from my mistakes, though more than once I barely survived. You convey no lack of desire for improvement, because you’re constantly forced to the defensive. You’ve convinced yourself that you’re good enough, and so you hesitate to change. Guess what: you’re not.

dreaddi · #2

Sorry to be OT, but there's no such word as "Entäuserung" in german. Did you mean Entäuschung (disappointment)?

Sethomas · #3

I borrowed the word from Marx just for the sake of irony in this context. I double-checked the spelling, and there is indeed a second "s" in it; "Entäusserung". My translation of the Economic and Philosophic Manuscripts of 1884 has it as "alienation", and it is in regards to religious disenfranchisement. Interestingly, I found elsewhere that Marx says for "self-alienation" the word "Selbstentfremdung". See, I had to check this because I was damn sure that the aforementioned was a real word, even though it's been almost three years since I've read Marx seriously.

Chojin · #4

I think OAO is the better man for not having made a thread like this.

McClain · #5

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin

I think OAO is the better man for not having made a thread like this.

I don't think he could if he tried.

Dole · #6

He does provide a lot of entertainiment value. Those photos were fucking amazing.

Helm · #7

I for one think this thread is good. Almost makes Seth worthwhile. It's pretentious, sure, but it's funny, and sad, and for the most part, rings true.

The main thing that I think you Chojin, certainly myself and as it seems Seth also, for various reasons, have once in our lives been OAOish enough to understand the full extent of the current hilarity. It's not only that OAO should be mocked on principle (which he should, of course) it's also that, unlike ME VS KAHL ZOMG, the critiques are not fabricated. They're not summed out of nothing or total reaching over little silly things. The mocking is not an end it itself. The critique is pertinent and if it breaks through and oao actually considers it, it's gonna benefit him a lot.

mburbank · #8

I am happy to say I have never read any OAO in Lovelline, and I dropped out of the "I'm outrageous" thread early on.

As the emminent sage Howard Stern aptly pointed out, Sharon Stone describes herself to interviewers as "Ferociously intelligent". Albert Eintein never told anyone he was "Ferociously Intelligent".

If you count up the number of spelling errors in this thread, multiply them twice times half your age, the resut will be your 'lucky' number.

Helm · #9

Quote:

Originally Posted by mburbank

Sharon Stone describes herself to interviewers as "Ferociously intelligent". Albert Eintein never told anyone he was "Ferociously Intelligent".

ad hominem, you homo. (here I don't really think you're a homo although if it was indeed the fact I wouldn't be surpised given that you are a smelly jew!) regardless of how abert intin discribed himself, he was as intelligent as he was, and stone was as intelligent as she was. OAO is intelligent. he can grasp subjects, as long as they're not about him being not having a chance in hell of becoming a model (seriously, he's discussing this in loveline. the thread is pure gold and you're missing out) or his hideously ugly manthighs. That's what we're trying to get through: that he's intelligent and he should use this intelligence to inspect his sorry self more

Yggdrasill · #10

My lucky number is 90!

When's OAO going to get here? Defend yourself valiantly upon these haters of your uhm, splendid deeds and fortunes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The One And Only...

And all I can say, Dole, is that there was a time when narcissism was the only thing that kept me alive.

Now really what the hell does that mean? I mean REALLY WTF?! When I was feeling VERY suicidal, actually more like commiting, it was the people around me who wanted to keep me alive and eventually won. It felt to me like having a complete loss of self preservation, no thoughts about me staying alive, just reasons about how i'm a horrible person and should be out of existence, not some "outrageously hot pre-model socialite(which I totally am now) whose love for himself kept him alive". So please tell me that narcissism did not save you from suicide because that is total bullshit.

And if you can't answer than someone please explain how that would make sense because this guy needs to analyze himself with some sort of therapy session lastin' 90 days i'm sure of it.

The One and Only... · #11

This thread made me LOL.

For one thing, my antics on this board are just that: antics. My INTENTION is to be humorous, but apparently you just don't grasp that.

I'll admit I'm egocentric, and even somewhat socially inept, but in reality I'm not quite as naive as you think I am (at least not since Marissa).

Narcissism kept me alive. The conditions in my life were horrible. This was around the time I developed my anarchist beliefs, and the combination of the stress from living in a Statist society which I rejected and the lack of anyone to relate to left me void. This was also a time where I, in hindsight, was sitting somewhere between social circles; I left some of my old friends behind but had none to really turn to. The only thing that stopped me from going down the highway instead of across the street was a deep self-respect and belief that I could do something to change the future.

Gurlugon · #12

I only post topical nonsensicals in order to avoid dropping hints on my foibles and having them picked apart like this, huys.

OAO is twice the man I am, would be three times save the 'flexibility.

ziggytrix · #13

Quote:

Originally Posted by The One and Only...

the stress from living in a Statist society

more about

The One and Only... · #14

I'm a market anarchist. I hate the State. I think it is a corrupt corporatist tool. What more is there to say?

Chojin · #15

You're going to have to either:

1. Work to change it
2. Accept it
3. Go elsewhere

Just bitching about how mean the world is isn't going to make it any easier to cope with it.

mburbank · #16

Okay, so, is this

"the combination of the stress from living in a Statist society which I rejected and the lack of anyone to relate to left me void."

The kind of stuff you mean to be funny? Because it's hysterical.

If what you mean is to portray a totally fictional persona who's utterly self absorbed, has only the most hamfisted inkling of the existance of others and is a complete blowhard, it's very funny.

If you mean to convey information about your actual self, if your posts are in any way related to how you actually think and what you actually think about, then they are sad.

My guess is that your intent is not humor at all. You want to be percieved as puckish, droll, a bon vivant. And therein is the whole damn problem. If you were ANY of those things (or even just funny) you wouldn't need to constantly tell us. Do I write threads titled "I just realized I'm a great comedy writer!" Does Mock write threads titled "I just realized I make up for genital inadequacy by having a huge website!" Will you write future threads titled "Boy was I ever an enormous asshole!"?

Yggdrasill · #17

Quote:

Originally Posted by The One And Only...

This thread made me LOL.

For one thing, my antics on this board are just that: antics. My INTENTION is to be humorous, but apparently you just don't grasp that.

I'll admit I'm egocentric, and even somewhat socially inept, but in reality I'm not quite as naive as you think I am (at least not since Marissa).

Narcissism kept me alive. The conditions in my life were horrible. This was around the time I developed my anarchist beliefs, and the combination of the stress from living in a Statist society which I rejected and the lack of anyone to relate to left me void. This was also a time where I, in hindsight, was sitting somewhere between social circles; I left some of my old friends behind but had none to really turn to. The only thing that stopped me from going down the highway instead of across the street was a deep self-respect and belief that I could do something to change the future.

Okay I get it OAO, but it's a total lie. If you had any self respect I don't think you'd be here talkin' all that jazz.

Do you say "please, sir, and thank you" to yourself?

If you truly do change the future Marty Mcfly because you've convinced yourself of a destiny unbecoming of what i've gathered about you, I will automatically shut down my central nervous system with an impaling motion. Your trying to say you make out your life to be antics on the internet and what does that say about you.

I could make out my life as antics, but would anyone be impressed? Would they just tell me to shut up/go away/die/stickyourpenisinyourass, or would I be unlucky enough to get positive responses? Maybe you want people here to not believe you because you can post solid concrete words in defense that make it easier in your mind to lie to real people by saying the same things over and over until you've perfected that lie.

It's funny to hear and make fun of your antics but the the end of this post says everything about your 'intentions'

How do you know your not really so naïve? Is that really something you can know? Your young and i'm sure you think you've been through a lot of shit which is probably were you get your self respect from because you've overcome some adversity(huh fatty? whitey?)

But let me guess, you're running all out of adversity and you need something new to 'overcome' and be reborn a more knowing person. Might be bi-sexual? That could mean trouble! And when you decide in the end you'll be all the more intelligent. You go girl and follow that rainbow!

Should you be a model? Should you? I don't know everyone here seems to disagree. Adversity hoy!

Is your penis gonna grow so large that you'll be able to perform the family guy episode about chris' giant penis in the nude? Entirely with the veins on the penis of course, not you acting as chris. Or will you have changed the world so much by altering it's spin with your penis when you turn too quickly with a boner on the way to paris France for your latest fashion shots and thus plummeting the earth into the sun a la armaggedon? Ironically re-writing the bible at the time?

MAKE SURE YOU STILL POSTING BY THEN SO WE ALL KNOW WHO TO BLAME MOTHERFUCKER HA HA SHE MOCK HE MOCK WE MOCK I MOCK YOU MOCK THEY MOCK SHE MOCK SHE BOPPA LOU MOCK/CYNDI LAUPER PORODY M Y INTENTIANS WERE HILLARISA I"M SORRY

This thread might become the diatribe of the century!

The One and Only... · #18

Directed to Burbank:

Some of what I say is fairly honest, but other times I go out of my way to sound extremely egotistical/cocky/OAOish for the sake of humor.

For example, I am what I listed in the Outrageous thread, but the only reason I made the thread was to be funny.

And in that particular quote, I was being serious.

ziggytrix · #19

Quote:

Originally Posted by The One and Only...

I'm a market anarchist. I hate the State. I think it is a corrupt corporatist tool. What more is there to say?

How has it ever affected you, personally?

Mockery · #20

Quote:

Originally Posted by mburbank

Do I write threads titled "I just realized I'm a great comedy writer!" Does Mock write threads titled "I just realized I make up for genital inadequacy by having a huge website!"

That's right Max, keep biting the hand that feeds... then wonder why it quickly becomes the fist that spelunks.

And for the record people, you know that Atlas guy holding up the world? Well that's really OAO. So stop questioning his mighty legs, cuz without those mighty twin towers of his, we'd all be fucked.

nevar4get

The One and Only... · #21

I'm forced to go to school, aren't I?

Animal, this is a message board. If I wanted adversity, I'd get it in real life. And I sure as hell don't think I can change the world on I-Mockery.

Mock, that was great.

ziggytrix · #22

Quote:

Originally Posted by The One and Only...

I'm forced to go to school, aren't I?

So you hate the state and declare yourself an anarchist because you don't wanna go to school? Excuse me while I go laugh til blood comes outta my nose.

The One and Only... · #23

Ziggy, it's not about what the State has done to me, personally. It's about what the State has done, will do, and will continue to do as long as it exists.