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  #1  
Chojin Chojin is offline
was never good
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Old Feb 27th, 2007, 09:39 PM        Chojin and Lenor's Poetry Thread
Lenor: ut oh i just wrote a poem :/
Lenor: wanna see it?
Chojin: sup
Lenor: i just wrote it like the one minute ago
Chojin: i mean yes
Lenor: i hate myself today.. the lonliness that i derive,
from never giving in...
my heart is made of glass, the feelings disapeared..
your only just an image in my imaginary state
the needle breaks me down, yet your always on my arm,
the feeling never disapeares, yet i cry each and every day.
Lenor: what ya think?
Chojin: you didn't follow haiku prose at all
Lenor: its not a haiku
Chojin: i'll say!
Lenor: which would explain the format
Lenor: honestly, does it suck? need more work? throw it away?
Lenor: frame it ?
Lenor: what
Chojin: it's a little cliche
Lenor: its a little cliche ? when I wrote it in 4 seconds?
Chojin: especially because you wrote it in 4 saeconds
Lenor: do you meen mainstream?
Chojin: do you know what cliche means
Lenor: yes, but I dont see where it would fit in me just asking you what you thought of a few lines of a poem i wrote in 4 seconds.
Chojin: cli·ché /kliˈʃeɪ, klɪ-/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[klee-shey, kli-] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1. a trite, stereotyped expression; a sentence or phrase, usually expressing a popular or common thought or idea, that has lost originality, ingenuity, and impact by long overuse, as sadder but wiser, or strong as an ox.
2. (in art, literature, drama, etc.) a trite or hackneyed plot, character development, use of color, musical expression, etc.
3. anything that has become trite or commonplace through overuse.
4. British Printing.
a. a stereotype or electrotype plate.
b. a reproduction made in a like manner.
–adjective
5. trite; hackneyed; stereotyped; clichéd.
Lenor: alright Im going to ignore the literary lesson,.
Chojin: i'm just saying, the word makes perfect sense where and how i used it
Lenor: So your saying what i wrote was completly unorignal.
Lenor: unoriginal*
Lenor: played out, trainwreck
Chojin: i said a little cliche
Lenor: well id like to see you come up with a poem that isnt 3 lines with four words per line, that expresses something you were feeling in oh lets say under 10 seconds.
Chojin: exasperation at the tiny rage
Chojin: one who asks for critique, sorrow untold to those who comply
Chojin: the internet is serious business
Chojin: *bow*
Lenor: not even close.
Lenor: the second line is really interesting.
Chojin: AT THE BIB OF THE MOUTH OF BABES, THE SOUND AND FURY OF TINY ANGER
Chojin: SERIOUS BUSINESS, THE INTERNET HAS BUT ONE ALIGNMENT
Chojin: there, you can replace 1 and 3 with that.
Lenor: Cruelality has but one face, dangerouse to those who wish to become erased.
Chojin: JAX WINS, CRUELALITY
Lenor: umm you just interupted me!
Lenor: this isnt about SPELLING
Chojin: Break it down.
Chojin: Degenerate into something, fool.
Chojin: I just got tired,
Chojin: Of doing what you told me to do.
Chojin: But that's the breaks, boy.
Chojin: Yea,
Chojin: That's the breaks,
Chojin: Little man.
Lenor: the walls are comin in low, while the water seems to stay up high.
Lenor: your wittless undermine , only escapes my presciouse and fragile mind.
Chojin: Hurricane Katrina, Neva Forget.
Lenor: broken while not yet torn, ive been walking in your shadown ,
Chojin: Hey yo, Captain Jack.
Chojin: Bring me back
Chojin: To the railroad track.
Lenor: and while the truth comes out sometime, my consiouse keeps me insane.
Lenor: im not some random puppet for you to explore, im me, im here, im not you.
Chojin: I need more allowance.
Chojin: Yo-de-lay-hee.
Chojin: I need more allowance.
Chojin: Yo-da-lay-hee, hoo
Chojin: I need more allowance.
Chojin: Yo-da-lay-hee,
Chojin: Why? Because I do.
Lenor: ha im better then u at something!
Chojin: TAKE A BOW!
Lenor: ok

SHARE YOUR OWN POETRY.
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  #2  
noob3 noob3 is offline
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Old Feb 27th, 2007, 09:44 PM       
yo yo yo
noob3 here wants to tell a story
about a kid without any wories
he was 7 foot tall lookin real clean
until a police officer shot him in the spleen
he was bleedin on the floor
lookin like he was poor
wondered why god could let this happen
to a man so educated in rappin
"lord yo why you keepin me down
gotta make all us black ppl frown"

now jesus stepped in and he said
aint noone keepin u down its all in ur head

the black man went to heaven and it was realy nice
he said "man these white ppl dont even have lice!"
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  #3  
liquidstatik liquidstatik is offline
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Old Feb 27th, 2007, 09:49 PM       
puttttinn it down for ca$hdown
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  #4  
Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
frappez le cochon rouge
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Old Feb 27th, 2007, 09:56 PM       
No band is better than the Beets, brah.
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  #5  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
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Old Feb 28th, 2007, 12:58 AM       
i used to write a lot of poetry when i was all into improvisation and pulling intelligent zany seeming things out of my ass. Now i pull intelligent seeming things out of my penis.
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kahljorn kahljorn is offline
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Old Feb 28th, 2007, 01:05 AM       
man i had this awesome poem named Walrii the Third I improvised but i think it got deleted from my computer ;(

son of a bitch! I don't think i backed that one up, either.
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  #7  
GADZOOKS GADZOOKS is offline
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Old Feb 28th, 2007, 05:14 AM       
Chojin: JAX WINS, CRUELALITY

That made me Roseanne Laugh. I never Roseanne laugh.

Back in high school I was forced to take a Creative Writing class and a major unit was Poetry. And we had to create a one-sentence poem using a bunch of notes with words on them. Mine was "It takes a fart to break a heart". I made up some bullshit how an ex-girlfriend broke up with me because I passed gas a lot. My teacher called me a cheater and I ended up with a C in the class.

THE C IS FOR CHEATER, I GUESS.
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  #8  
Lenor Lenor is offline
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Old Feb 28th, 2007, 11:38 AM       
That is no haiku!

Let's here it gadzooks.

The ODE to his HS sweetie.
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  #9  
Womti Womti is offline
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Old Feb 28th, 2007, 01:16 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chojin View Post
cli·ché /kliˈʃeɪ, klɪ-/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[klee-shey, kli-] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1. a trite, stereotyped expression; a sentence or phrase, usually expressing a popular or common thought or idea, that has lost originality, ingenuity, and impact by long overuse, as sadder but wiser, or strong as an ox.
2. (in art, literature, drama, etc.) a trite or hackneyed plot, character development, use of color, musical expression, etc.
3. anything that has become trite or commonplace through overuse.
4. British Printing.
a. a stereotype or electrotype plate.
b. a reproduction made in a like manner.
–adjective
5. trite; hackneyed; stereotyped; cliched.

I would call this poetry.
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  #10  
Jeanette X Jeanette X is offline
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Old Mar 5th, 2007, 09:59 PM       
wasting time online
I should really go to bed
Christ Lenor is dumb

Last edited by Jeanette X : Mar 5th, 2007 at 10:50 PM.
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  #11  
Jeanette X Jeanette X is offline
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Old Mar 5th, 2007, 10:02 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chojin View Post
Lenor: i hate myself today.. the lonliness that i derive,
from never giving in...
my heart is made of glass, the feelings disapeared..
*disco beat*

Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out had a heart of glass
Seemed like the real thing, only to find
Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind
Once I had a love and it was divine
Soon found out I was losing my mind
It seemed like the real thing but I was so blind
Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind

In between
What I find is pleasing and I'm feeling fine
Love is so confusing there's no peace of mind
If I fear I'm losing you it's just no good
You teasing like you do



Dance if you know this song!



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  #12  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
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Old Mar 6th, 2007, 09:34 AM       
How the hell did I miss this thread
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  #13  
Cosmo Electrolux Cosmo Electrolux is offline
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Old Mar 6th, 2007, 10:07 AM       
it had Lenor in the title
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  #14  
Terra Terra is offline
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Old Mar 8th, 2007, 11:11 PM       
hi cos, baybee!!!!
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  #15  
Jixby Phillips Jixby Phillips is offline
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Old Mar 9th, 2007, 04:43 PM       
I wrote a poem an hour before my creative writing class entitled "OH FUCK I FORGOT TO WRITE A POEM" and I got an A on it
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  #16  
deuce deuce is offline
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Old Mar 9th, 2007, 05:33 PM       
Heart Of Glass
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZXdlouMEzA
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  #17  
FartinMowler FartinMowler is offline
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Old Mar 9th, 2007, 07:05 PM       
God I hate this site
Nobody loves me or if they do I doubt they might
Thorns and porn and clubs of unicorns
Forlorn and scorn there is not evolution to dismay
giant piles of shit and waves of urine and a floating tampons
Widgets and gollywogs and a midget for display
I'm happy today I'm drinking beer and I'm not gay
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  #18  
Terra Terra is offline
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Old Mar 10th, 2007, 11:59 PM       
i take issue with the midget for display.

otherwise, that was great, farty!
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  #19  
Supafly345 Supafly345 is offline
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Old Mar 18th, 2007, 01:56 AM       
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXY and Z,
Now that I know my ABC's,
Next time you can think with me.
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