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Old May 28th, 2009, 05:35 AM        3D Realms: A Post Mortem
Automatically generated comment thread for 3D Realms: A Post Mortem.
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OxBlood OxBlood is offline
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Old May 28th, 2009, 05:44 AM       
I have a very simple formula: There are two reasons why the development of a Video-/Computergame can take more than five years:

a) You´re Blizzard Entertainment

b) You´re just slow and your game will have a 75% Chance to suck quite a bit.

or in this case, there´s a special C:

c) You´re a bunch of lazy liars that couldn´t get a mediocre game done, even if your job depended on it. Fits 3d Realms post-Duke3d rather well I think


I sometimes wonder, what the hell they were doing all the time (Drinking in Mexico, smoking Crack in Atlantis, every 3 months, someone has to write a half-assed excuse why they don´t have anything to show...again) and why the publishers couldn´t see through such an obvious charade...ah well.
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Old May 28th, 2009, 05:49 AM       
Ah, DNF. So fun to tease my gamer friends about. In some ways I think they actually prefer this to the damn thing getting released.

After 12 years, each copy of the game could come with a free clone of the centerfold of your choice and it still wouldn't live up to the hype. At least now, the Nukem fans can pretend that it really would have been the shining beacon of perfection they always dreamed about.
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Old May 28th, 2009, 09:50 AM       
I myself also waited for this game Dr. boogie. I had faith that 3d Realms could do it, but what it all comes down to is that Duke Nukem Forever is mythical like the Sasquatch, and the McRib Sandwich at McDonalds.
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Old May 28th, 2009, 10:29 AM       
I'm sure someone could have even made a half decent DNF knockoff from a half life mod by now.

.....Someone go do that.
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Old May 28th, 2009, 11:11 AM       
We all know the best Build engine FPS was Blood, and Monolith needs to get off their asses and make a Blood 3 instead of fucking up the FEAR franchise.
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Old May 28th, 2009, 11:22 AM       
By not being released, DNF has achieved legendary status like the Beach Boys' "Smile" or Prince's "Black Album."
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Old May 28th, 2009, 11:31 AM       
Stange article. But it is amusing to see how this game played itself through. Sadly, Starcraft: Ghost's tepid story isn't nearly aas amusing as this.

RIP Duke Nukem. Shame you couldn't take Lara Croft with you. Gamepro had a wierd knack of coupling you two together (Hell, are they still around? I know EGM & Tips&Tricks are gone. Or at least a couple videogame mags are gone.)
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Old May 28th, 2009, 01:05 PM       
This made me pretty depressed over all the great games that COULD have been made, but were scrapped at the last minute. Hell, I was freaking out for Ghost and DNF so bad...
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Old May 28th, 2009, 02:34 PM       
I remember playing a 2D side scroller version of Duke back in the day before the game resembled doom.

I'm going to miss you Duke. ( Dies inside)
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Old May 28th, 2009, 11:36 PM       
I loved them better when they used to be Apogee. Man, they had awesome games back then... I'm going to miss those guys.

Duke Nukem 3D was a title of 3D Realms' that I was proud to own when I first got it in 1996. I've still got it intact in it's entirety, manual, jewel case and all, for the past 13 years! Had a lot of good times playing it, too. Plus, it came with the full versions of the first Duke Nukem and Duke Nukem II, which made it even more worthwhile.
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Old May 28th, 2009, 11:39 PM       
Videogames in the 90's were just awesome. I remember having CD's full of demos and wanting to have the original version of everyone I liked. Playing the demos was enough to keep me entertained for a good while. The shareware edition of Doom is the prime example.

Nice article, doc. Keep up the research.
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Old May 28th, 2009, 11:41 PM       
By the way, I have to agree with OxBlood and Angryhydralisk about games from Blizzard Entertainment that are delayed for plenty of time without notice. Starcraft II is taking too damn long and it is evident that Starcraft Ghost is a dead topic.
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Old May 29th, 2009, 02:08 AM       
The thing with Blizzard is that while one of their A-list titles was taking a while, you could be sure there was another game/expansion for a different series coming up a year or two later. Lately, it's been just a stream of WoW expansions, but who knows. Maybe Starcraft 2, Diablo 3, and the new IP they're developing will get things back on track again.
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Old May 29th, 2009, 12:01 PM       
Not to point anyone to someone else's site, but Yahtzee's "review" of DNF is goddamn hilarious.
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Old May 29th, 2009, 01:27 PM       
Yeah, I watched that. It's got to be his best one yet.
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Dr. Boogie Dr. Boogie is offline
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Old May 29th, 2009, 02:55 PM       
It really is spectacular. I don't think there's any other way to handle this tragedy than with irony.
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Old May 29th, 2009, 04:19 PM       
I liked watching that video of the unreleased game. It looked fun.
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Old May 29th, 2009, 04:51 PM       
Give me god mode, and RPG, and five minutes.
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Old May 29th, 2009, 06:49 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Boogie View Post
The thing with Blizzard is that while one of their A-list titles was taking a while, you could be sure there was another game/expansion for a different series coming up a year or two later. Lately, it's been just a stream of WoW expansions, but who knows. Maybe Starcraft 2, Diablo 3, and the new IP they're developing will get things back on track again.
Having played both games, I can say that they are definitely going to rule - particularly Diablo 3. That is honestly the nicest looking, smoothest game I've ever had the change to play and I look forward to it taking over my life.

Starcraft 2 is gonna be a blast as well, though I wish they weren't splitting it up into those 3 separate releases. They can say it was for whatever reason they want, but to us gamers, it just looks like money-grubbing.
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Old May 29th, 2009, 09:21 PM       
What I would like to know is how the hell has Deckard Cain managed to stay alive during all the saga. How come that a guy that already looked old enough in the first Diablo still has his wrinkly old ass 20 years after the events in Diablo II?
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Old May 29th, 2009, 09:24 PM       
I think it would be spectacular if they announced the release and made a huge show of it. It would start with one really good level that turns into a rick roll. Every copy. A rick roll. It would be the ultimate fu to the fans. Then we could all move on.
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Old May 30th, 2009, 02:27 AM       
Very nice article, very funny.

While I've never even played any of the DN games, I can't really expect DNF to have been all that great for all the hypes it's gotten.

Your still my favorite writer on this site Boogie, you gonna be working on any more ROM hack reviews anytime soon?
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Old May 31st, 2009, 03:39 PM       
Chinese Democracy thinks Duke Nukem Forever was going too sluggishly :P
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Dr. Boogie Dr. Boogie is offline
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Old May 31st, 2009, 04:45 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Earthbound_X View Post
Very nice article, very funny.

While I've never even played any of the DN games, I can't really expect DNF to have been all that great for all the hypes it's gotten.

Your still my favorite writer on this site Boogie, you gonna be working on any more ROM hack reviews anytime soon?
I'm planning on getting back into rom hacks sooner or later. These days, I'm dividing my time between writing for the site and sending out resumés, so it's been slow going to say the least.
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