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Emu Emu is offline
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Old Mar 13th, 2008, 01:33 PM        When ass and toilet become one
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WICHITA, Kan. — Deputies say a woman in western Kansas became stuck on her boyfriend's toilet after sitting on it for two years.
Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."

Whipple said investigators planned to present their report Wednesday to the county attorney, who will determine whether any charges should be filed against the woman's 36-year-old boyfriend.

"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body," Whipple said. "It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself."

He told investigators he brought his girlfriend food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom.

"And her reply would be, `Maybe tomorrow,"' Whipple said. "According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom."
The boyfriend called police on Feb. 27 to report that "there was something wrong with his girlfriend," Whipple said, adding that he never explained why it took him two years to call.

Police found the clothed woman sitting on the toilet, her sweat pants down to her mid-thigh. She was "somewhat disoriented," and her legs looked like they had atrophied, Whipple said.

"She said that she didn't need any help, that she was OK and did not want to leave," he said.

She was taken to a hospital in Wichita, about 150 miles southeast of Ness City. Whipple said she has refused to cooperate with medical providers or law enforcement investigators.

Authorities said they did not know if she was mentally or physically disabled.

Police have declined to release the couple's names, but the house where authorities say the incident happened is listed in public records as the residence of Kory McFarren. No one answered his home phone number.

The case has been the buzz Ness City, said James Ellis, a neighbor.
"I don't think anybody can make any sense out of it," he said.

Ellis said he had known the woman since she was a child but that he had not seen her for at least six years.

He said she had a tough childhood after her mother died at a young age and apparently was usually kept inside the house as she grew up. At one time the woman worked for a long-term care facility, he said, but he did not know what kind of work she did there.

"It really doesn't surprise me," Ellis said of the bathroom incident. "What surprises me is somebody wasn't called in a bit earlier."
That last line really gets me. What would you have to have seen in your life to be able to honestly say "This really doesn't surprise me?"

ref: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,337232,00.html
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Old Mar 13th, 2008, 01:36 PM       
They are going to charge the boyfriend for some sort of crime after not calling for help sooner. WTH? She was the one that didn't want off the john.
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Old Mar 13th, 2008, 02:01 PM       
pics or it didn't happen
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Old Mar 13th, 2008, 02:03 PM       
Maybe he meant he was so surprised by the fact that it took two years to do something about this that it made the fact that she refused to leave the toilet seem like nothing.
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Old Mar 13th, 2008, 03:37 PM       
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Authorities said they did not know if she was mentally or physically disabled.
Really? You can't make the educated guess that a woman who sat on a toilet for 2 fucking years might be a head case?

To be fair, I thought this was going to be about someone who was too fat to move, and decided to get stuck on her toilet to keep from making a mess.
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Old Mar 13th, 2008, 03:46 PM       
Sitting on the john for all day while somebody brings you food doesn't sound that bad to me. Man, if she had a TV in there, i'd call it heaven.
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Old Mar 13th, 2008, 03:58 PM       
Well, it's not a TV but she did have a pair of breasts in there with her.
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Old Mar 13th, 2008, 04:00 PM       
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Well, it's not a TV but she did have a pair of breasts in there with her.
Goddamn, that's even better!
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Old Mar 13th, 2008, 08:01 PM       
HEY GUYS MAYBE HER BOYFRIEND SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER TO "SHIT OR GET OFF THE POT!"
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Chojin Chojin is offline
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Old Mar 13th, 2008, 08:33 PM       
What did he do when he wanted to use the bathroom? :<
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Old Mar 13th, 2008, 08:50 PM       
What all Japanese and Germans do :<
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Old Mar 13th, 2008, 08:55 PM       
;_;
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Old Mar 13th, 2008, 10:04 PM       
I hope there were several courtesy flushes.
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Dr. Octogonopus Dr. Octogonopus is offline
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Old Mar 13th, 2008, 11:11 PM       
Would she be considered a biomechanical entity? Bioplumbing? Or just an abomination?
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Old Mar 14th, 2008, 12:12 AM       
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What all Japanese and Germans do :<
Until I read that, I was going to ask if her last name was "Presley".
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MetalMilitia MetalMilitia is offline
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Old Mar 14th, 2008, 09:31 AM       
Man, she must know like every single shampoo ingredient ever.
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Old Mar 14th, 2008, 11:41 AM       
The fact that she had her pants down long enough for any amount of fusing to have occured just about proves how batshit crazy she is, in my mind. It's one thing to be sitting on a toilet for years, it's another entirely to feel the need to have your pants down the entire time.
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Sacks Sacks is offline
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Old Mar 14th, 2008, 11:43 AM       
That sounds even more crazy to have your pants on. You're sitting on the toilet already, why are you going to want to stand all the up just to drop your pants to drop a deuce? This woman is probably incontinent now. I doubt she ever held anything for 2 years and those muscles are shot.
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Kitsa Kitsa is offline
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Old Mar 18th, 2008, 11:58 AM       
I'm just glad not to have been on that ER shift.

I envy the doctors who will be rocking on the front porch someday, great-grandchildren on their lap. "Well, sonny, let me tell you about the day I had to remove a toilet seat fused to some crazy lady's ass..."
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Old Mar 18th, 2008, 02:52 PM       
Pretty tolerant boyfriend though. Maybe he has 2 bathrooms, but I'd still be pretty damn pissed if some crazy bitch decided to sit on my toilet and never get up again. And what if there are visitors? Pretty difficult to explain something like that.
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Old Mar 18th, 2008, 03:00 PM       
The dude was in love. You don't know what it's like. Plus I love BJs.
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Kitsa Kitsa is offline
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Old Mar 18th, 2008, 05:28 PM       
I'm still trying to picture what an ass grafted to a toilet seat must look like. (There's a project for the artists...doesn't quite lend itself to bento)
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