I originally was going to post this in Loveline, but this doesn't really have to do with Romantic Relationships.
Two years ago, I was contacted by a director whose work I'd admired after I'd written a paean to his work in an online journal a year and a half before. He asked me if I was still working on the script I was talking about in the journal. At the time, I was workshopping it with a professor at school. So I told I would send it to him once it was done.
A few months later, I was scheduled to go down to NYC on a day trip. At the time, he'd been working on another video, and decided to do post in NYC. I asked if we could meet. The night before we were supposed to meet, he gave me a call. I'd tried to work my mom's cell phone, but couldn't, so I e-mailed the number. He didn't have a chance to access his e-mail, so sadly we didn't meet the next day. The day after, he emailed me explaining this, but still wanted to meet me sometime. But that was the last I'd heard from him.
For several more months, I continued to send him e-mails regarding the progress of my projects, but he never wrote back. After awhile, I decided to put him behind me. Or so I thought.
Then last August, while waiting on feedback for my latest script, I began work on a script outline for a Christopher Guest-style mockumentary just to kill time. Since I know I would never have any chance of selling it, I affirmed myself that it would be a birthday present for an actor. (His birthday is on Halloween.) For reasons I won't go into, I decided not to give it to this actor. For other reasons, I decided not to write any more screenplays for the time being.
A week later, it dawned on me. Why not send it to the director as a Thank You gift? A couple of weeks before, I managed to look up several famous people's addresses in the Cornell Directory. My cousin attends this guy's alma mater, so I had him look up his address. A little over two weeks ago, I sent him his gift. I paid for delivery confirmation, because the address in the Alumni Directory dated back to 1999. According to the US Postal Service, his package arrived the Saturday after I sent it. I want to assume he's busy working right now.
But I am also really anxious to hear from this guy again. I want to assume he's been busy for the last 18 months, but I wonder if I did something to alienate him. I mean, I don't think I've done anything to alienate him. But I'd like to keep him in my life even though I'm not pursuing screenwriting right now. Sometimes I wonder if at this point, if I really
want to hear from him again. I've kinda grown accustomed to the mirage.
I've thought about giving him a phone call, marking a month from today (11/18) as the D-Day, to give him a little more time. But again, I'm hesitant. After all...
- *I don't want to seem like a stalker. I mean, I haven't heard anything from this guy in 18 months.
*He could just be busy, and I might just be impatient. After all, it's only been two weeks since I've sent the package to him.
*The number my cousin gave me is five years old. For all I know, he may have switched his number.
I feel very confused right now. I have all kinds of reasons to be pissed off right now (like, being unemployed), yet this irritates me more than anything. Why? Am I wrong to feel this way?