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  #33751  
Guitar Woman Guitar Woman is offline
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Old Mar 6th, 2008, 09:05 PM       
I bought a pair today and got off the bus mabye three blocks further away from my house than I usually do, and it took me the better part of two hours to get home

My knees haven't bled this much in 6 years
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  #33752  
Guitar Woman Guitar Woman is offline
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Old Mar 6th, 2008, 09:07 PM       
they were in line skates, btw, not ye olde faggotry kind

that might have been part of my problem
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  #33753  
ElPila666 ElPila666 is offline
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Old Mar 6th, 2008, 09:09 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guitar Woman View Post
I originally only liked El Pila for his hilarious broken english
Urban Dicktionary always help me to fix my english, actually now i was looking for rollerskating and i found dis:

---------------
-----/\-O--/---
----/--/-\/----
------/--------
-----/--\------
----/----\-----
--LOL---LOL--
---------------
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  #33754  
Guitar Woman Guitar Woman is offline
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Old Mar 6th, 2008, 09:16 PM       
lollerskates.
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  #33755  
Girl Drink Drunk Girl Drink Drunk is offline
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Old Mar 6th, 2008, 09:19 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chojin View Post
one

also, new thread backups!

http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=15809

mostly for helm on page 2.
Were you, by any chance, reminded of this part, by my post in the "STUPID AMERICANS" thread?
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  #33756  
Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Mar 6th, 2008, 09:30 PM       
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  #33757  
Guitar Woman Guitar Woman is offline
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Old Mar 6th, 2008, 09:36 PM       
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  #33758  
Fathom Nero Fathom Nero is offline
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Old Mar 6th, 2008, 09:50 PM       
Nice boobs :P
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  #33759  
ElPila666 ElPila666 is offline
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Old Mar 6th, 2008, 10:11 PM       
Tadao do you like takeshi Kitano yakuza movies?
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  #33760  
JediScum JediScum is offline
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Old Mar 6th, 2008, 10:29 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guitar Woman View Post
also why the fuck is rollerskating so fucking hard
I'm not sure because I promptly gave that shit up around the of 12. My body was way too awkward.

I am talking about skates and not "blades"... I don't know know about inline skating.

But skates, in the early 80's, had one cool effect, which I will bulid towards.

So, yer at the skating rink for yer adolescent mating ritual. You're a 12 year old boy whos balls have just "dropped", just found out that girls "get boobs" maybe a year ago, and are determined to see these "Boobs" in real life.

So you go to the skate rental. You ask for a size 8. All gone. They do have 3 pairs of 6 and a half or 2 sizes in 11.

No 9's? GO FISH!

You don't want the 11's because they are "CLOWN SHOES". So you go for a 6 and a half.

Putting these onto size 8 feet requires about 10 - 15 minutes. While doing this you not only see the grail of boobs which are possessed by an "older woman" (a Freshman in high school, who is also a cheerleader for varsity), but you notice 3-4 NEW arcade games which you must at least try with the 3 dollars yer parents sent you off with.

You skate around feeling like yer gonna fall, AT ANY TIME, unless you skate the rim so you can touch the wall or railing occasionally...

The only time you skate with confidence is when they play Van Halen, Motley Crue, Def Leppard or maybe ZZ TOP from the "Eliminator" LP.

(as an aside... I have NO idea when or why I started writing this in the 2nd person, but just go with it, OK? This is semi-autobiographical)

They play the "Limbo Rock" song, like every week, but since yer flexible (and a damn SEXY BEAST, like the boob queen will find out, many years later when she's a crack whore you randomly see in a bar), you actually make the top 3.

But you still get third, because even though, you COULD squeeze underneath 14 inches of space, YOU CAN'T DO IT IN THESE GODFORSAKEN 6 AND A HALF SKATES, MAN!!!!

You stick around though, just to see who does make 1st and 2nd, even though it's usually the same two people, they just trade places sometimes. But this is the week that you notice that they BOTH WEAR A SIZE 8 ROLLER SKATE AND IT'S A RENTAL!!!! AND THEY ARE 19 SKATING OFF WITH THE 15 YEAR OLD CHEERLEADER BOOB QUEEN!!!!!

About this time, the "Couple Skate" songs come on. So, in anger, you go play the 3 new video games you spotted. Yer money's gone before 5 minutes is up.

So you just give up. It takes another 10 minutes or so to get the footbinding skates off. You put yer street shoes back on. And walk around....

And then, "THE ONE COOL EFFECT" I mentioned earlier happens.

YER LEGS AND FEET ARE LIGHT!!! It's like walking in zero gravity, almost.
You almost feel like Cherubim from Heaven above are singing ... To YOUR FEET and your feet alone. It is, really truly amazing... the sensation.

On yer way out, you give the Boob Queen a 5 second stare... memorizing every nuance of the boobs. Judging by skin tone, and hair color which seems natural, you estimate nipple and areola size and color...

and when you meet her in the bar, twenty years later, you realize you were 90% correct. But it only cost you 5 bucks to see 'em, and another 10 for a wicked, toothless crack whore blowjob.
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  #33761  
Guitar Woman Guitar Woman is offline
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Old Mar 6th, 2008, 10:40 PM       
I'm with willie concerning who I'd karate kick off a bridge.
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  #33762  
Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Mar 6th, 2008, 10:43 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElPila666 View Post
Tadao do you like takeshi Kitano yakuza movies?
While I hold Beat Takeshi in the highest regard, Akira Kurosawa is my personal favorite film maker. Next time capitalize his name or I'll take one of your fingers.
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  #33763  
JediScum JediScum is offline
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Old Mar 6th, 2008, 10:46 PM       
how does willie know one of my managers at work?
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  #33764  
Pub Lover Pub Lover is offline
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Old Mar 7th, 2008, 11:05 AM       
Not Safe For Willie:
Spoilers!
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Originally Posted by Dr. Boogie
No YouTube embeds in your sigs, poindexter.
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  #33765  
Emu Emu is offline
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Old Mar 7th, 2008, 01:41 PM       
Remember when Chojin was a Gay Alien Bondage Dog?

I remember.
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  #33766  
Chojin Chojin is offline
was never good
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Old Mar 8th, 2008, 03:17 AM       
those were simpler times!

like, before I grew up.
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  #33767  
Zomboid Zomboid is offline
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Old Mar 8th, 2008, 05:43 AM       
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That was very funny. Well done.
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  #33768  
Chojin Chojin is offline
was never good
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Old Mar 8th, 2008, 06:08 AM       
it's ok zomboid i will still go to furcon wif u
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  #33769  
Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
frappez le cochon rouge
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Old Mar 8th, 2008, 02:49 PM       
I bought No More Heroes today.

I don't quite own a Wii yet.
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Oh god fathom zero, you are revealing yourself to be completely awful
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  #33770  
Zomboid Zomboid is offline
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Old Mar 8th, 2008, 05:40 PM       
Man, it sucks looking at the veteran posters list and noticing how many of them don't post anymore. I miss ziggy and dole
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That was very funny. Well done.
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  #33771  
Great Mighty Poo Great Mighty Poo is offline
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Old Mar 9th, 2008, 12:06 AM        ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tadao View Post
This reminds me of the Rock in Get Shorty. Or was that Be Cool? Whatever. If this guy ere a bit bulkier you would have Gay-Rock action. "Your not woman enough to take my man!"
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  #33772  
Emu Emu is offline
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Old Mar 9th, 2008, 01:59 PM       
When I look over the article comments forum I notice a lot of the people who post there regularly don't post on the main forums at all.

It's like a whole 'nother world.

And it's populated by furries.
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  #33773  
liquidstatik liquidstatik is offline
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Old Mar 9th, 2008, 03:36 PM       
i've never even read those forums :o
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  #33774  
liquidstatik liquidstatik is offline
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Old Mar 9th, 2008, 03:40 PM       
ew i never wanna go there again
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  #33775  
liquidstatik liquidstatik is offline
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Old Mar 9th, 2008, 03:41 PM       
out of the 5 yrs or so i've been on these forums, i've read maybe a total of 2 articles[never all the way thru, tho ]
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