Ted Haggard

[mburbank]

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. - Evangelist Ted Haggard admitted Friday that he bought methamphetamine and received a massage from a gay prostitute who claims he was paid for drug-fueled trysts by the outspoken gay marriage opponent.


But he still maintains he didn't have gay sex!! Oh, thank God! I was so, so terrified that he'd had gay sex. Thank god it's just buying meth from a gay prostitute and getting a massage. Those things can be forgiven by a merciful lord. But if he'd... if he'd... Oh, I can't even think about it.

I just thank God that obviously a Meth using, massage getting, head preacher of a Mega Church wouldn't lie about not having had gay sex.

[mburbank]

OH THANK GOD! I just read that Haggard BOUGHT the Meth, but he never USED it! He threw it away! After he bought it from the gay prositute he made contact with to get a massage, but not sex! He was tempted by Satan with Meth and he bought it, but he NEVER USED IT! He surmounted temptation, excpet for the buying part, and the massage from a gay prostitute! I AM SO PROUD OF HIM!

Not like that filthy Clinton bastard with his "I didn't inhale" bullshit. Anyone could see that was a crock of crap and that his even saying it was a insult to anyones intelligence. Thank God Haggard would never insult his congregations intelligence that way.

[FartinMowler]

I think he mixed up the analogy God works in mysterious way's with god likes methamphetamine gays :/

[KevinTheOmnivore]

I like the fact that when these guys go down they really go down. It's not just that he did some drugs, or had an affair with a prostitute, no ,it's the whole kitten caboodle!

[KevinTheOmnivore]

And I just realized how dirty my last post could be if read that way, so get your heads out of the gutter.

[Grislygus]

I-Mockery IS the gutter, we'll never get our heads out of it. Filthy, filthy mockery...


Anyway, I guarantee you that little old ladies are mailing support letters to him as we speak.

[Preechr]

Originally Posted by FartinMowler

I think he mixed up the analogy God works in mysterious way's with god likes methamphetamine gays :/

Hate to say it, but I've stolen and used this joke three times so far tonight, and apparently, though I loathe to admit it, it's good.

USA 7,587,465,087,165 Canada 1

*sigh*

damn.

Well, I guess it was good while it lasted.

[sadie]

[Dr. Boogie]