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T-Rex T-Rex is offline
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Old May 29th, 2008, 12:53 PM        Cleaning Crew
I have cleaning people at my house right now and I know they go through my draws. I have four hundred and eighty thousand pounds in fucking pennies under my pillow. There's a little bump. The cleaning crew who comes to my house must have no clue what I'm about. They're all Polish, I believe, and they come in wearing the little back-pack vacuums just going around the house. I assume that they're Polish because they're shorter in stature compared to normal people. Oops! I mean most other people. They're very nice but I wonder what goes through their minds sometimes. I feel bad about it but I don't like when they have to clean up gross stuff, or anything that they'd consider gross. I try to keep that stuff to a minimum and clean it up myself. Let's say I've had a cold and I've been blowing my nose and leaving snotty tissues on my night table, I'll pick those up if I know the cleaning crew's coming, and throw them in the garbage myself. Now my girlfriend had to be off the pill because she skipped it for a little while, and I don't even play around. So we had to use condoms, which all guys love. Why wouldn't we? It's like putting your dick in a dead guys ass and then fucking your girlfriend with that dead guy on your dick. Like somehow, if you could wedge the dead guy into your girlfriend, it would be just about as comfortable. So anyway, I forgot and left the wrapper on the night table and now I'm ashamed
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MetalMilitia MetalMilitia is offline
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Old May 29th, 2008, 01:07 PM       
Having your stuff stolen is god's way of telling you to get off your arse and clean your own crap.
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japan
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Pub Lover Pub Lover is offline
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Old May 29th, 2008, 01:13 PM       
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Where is that picture of an Asian girl with a crudely photoshopped penis from the last time someone tried this thread.

Pub, I know you have it.
I don't even remember the thread you're talkingabout.
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Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old May 29th, 2008, 04:09 PM       
Putting your dick in a dead guys ass feels good. Whats wrong with you?
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liquidstatik liquidstatik is offline
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Old May 29th, 2008, 05:05 PM       
hey dudes whered bluefox go?
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T-Rex T-Rex is offline
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Old May 30th, 2008, 04:43 AM       
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Putting your dick in a dead guys ass feels good. Whats wrong with you?
Guy, women complain about child birth, that's like a 10 lb baby coming out once. We're talking about a 160 lb grown dead guy with a beard repeatedly entering and exiting her cooch. Talk about bitch-city, you'd never hear the end of it.

"You could have at least taken his jacket off!"

I'll be all, "Forget you ho, he was chilly."
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Mr.Hoopla Mr.Hoopla is offline
ROCK ON
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Old May 30th, 2008, 10:07 PM       
The first condoms were made out of sheep intestines.
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JediScum JediScum is offline
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Old May 31st, 2008, 12:18 AM       
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Originally Posted by T-Rex View Post
Let's say I've had a cold and I've been blowing my nose and leaving snotty tissues on my night table, I'll pick those up if I know the cleaning crew's coming, and throw them in the garbage myself.
Blowing your nose, rightttttttttt


Quote:
Originally Posted by T-Rex:558011
Now my girlfriend had to be off the pill because she skipped it for a little while, and I don't even play around. So we had to use condoms, which all guys love. Why wouldn't we? It's like putting your dick in a dead guys ass and then fucking your girlfriend with that dead guy on your dick. Like somehow, if you could wedge the dead guy into your girlfriend, it would be just about as comfortable.

So anyway, I have no girlfriend, I been lying. Otherwise, I wouldn't compare sex with the girl I regularly bang without a condom, to fucking a dead GUY, because I did that, way before I was ever interested in condoms, or girls or love


Y'know, when i was 3



Fixed
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Sethomas Sethomas is offline
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Old May 31st, 2008, 02:12 AM       
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Originally Posted by JediScum View Post
I just now discovered a tired and ineffective way to try to be funny on the internet.
Amazing.
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T-Rex T-Rex is offline
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Old Jun 2nd, 2008, 04:41 AM       
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Originally Posted by JediScum View Post
So anyway, I have no girlfriend, I been lying. Otherwise, I wouldn't compare sex with the girl I regularly bang without a condom, to fucking a dead GUY, because I did that, way before I was ever interested in condoms, or girls or love


Y'know, when i was 3
JediScum, I told you this in confidence you ass!
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  #11  
Dixie Dixie is offline
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Old Jun 2nd, 2008, 04:55 AM       
As a housekeeper who has to clean up such things on a regular basis, it's really not a big deal most of the time (depending on the pay rate to be honest). It's also the reason we cleaning ladies carry rubber gloves.

You'd better tip them well if it happens often. We have ways of vengeance that you'll never find out about.
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T-Rex T-Rex is offline
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Old Jun 2nd, 2008, 05:52 AM       
Is it peeing on my toothbrush?
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  #13  
Dixie Dixie is offline
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Old Jun 2nd, 2008, 06:06 AM       
I'm not sure what Polish cleaners would do, the Polish people I know personally have very strange ideas of what is funny.

I flushed a heroin addict's dope and hid his needles when he smeared his bedroom walls with shit and asked me to clean it. His mom paid me to clean his apartment twice a month, she paid me very well, but not enough to put up with that.

Last edited by Dixie : Jun 2nd, 2008 at 06:07 AM. Reason: misspelling
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MetalMilitia MetalMilitia is offline
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Old Jun 2nd, 2008, 07:01 AM       
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Originally Posted by Sethomas View Post
Crap.
FIXED
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japan
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  #15  
Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Jun 2nd, 2008, 05:35 PM       
CIG cleans houses? I automatically go into porno mode
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  #16  
Dixie Dixie is offline
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Old Jun 2nd, 2008, 09:02 PM       
I not only clean houses, I work for my city's live theater (just finished working wardrobe for Madam Butterfly), I am a video store clerk and a face model for a local Mary Kay rep (free make up!!!).

Don't get too excited about the housecleaning thing though, no uniform or anything, I'm a yoga pants and KISS t-shirt kinda gal hahaha!
:D

But seriously, tip your cleaning people appropriately and if they're any good they'll clean up damn near anything in your home.
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