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  #1  
Sethomas Sethomas is offline
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Old Mar 30th, 2006, 03:21 AM        GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Over the winter I started in my first regular sexual relationship, even though there was no relationship beyond that. Being a good Catholic and feeling guilty for that, I decided I'd give up ALL copulation for Lent--including masturbation. I've done it like three times before, so it's never been that hard. Err, I mean, it's never been that difficult. Enter the problem: I've been on medication for three years that is quite notorious for destroying one's sex drive. When I first started on it, I had no virility whatsoever, but after time went by I got it back despite the meds. Well, the meds were causing more harm than good. So, I quit them (with doctor's consent) a few weeks ago.

With the combination of all these factors, the past four weeks have been hell. My member is hanging like twice as long as usual and it perpetually feels like it's going to explode. It doesn't help that I suddenly have all kinds of free time to spend on the computer, so all I do for most of the day is look at girls at my college I should meet on myspace and facebook. (Make fun of me for this, I sure do.) It's frustrating that it'd be really awkward if I DID contact any of them, because I don't want to explain, "Hi, I'd really like to meet, but if you so much as touch me in the next two weeks I'll cream myself and we don't want that".

I just want the remainder of Lent to pass by quickly and painlessly. Then I can go back to my self-loathing hedonism.
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  #2  
Terra Terra is offline
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Old Mar 30th, 2006, 10:21 AM       
Please post pictures. Nobody can help you if you don't post pictures.

We are all buddies on the internet.
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  #3  
Dole Dole is offline
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Old Mar 30th, 2006, 03:05 PM       
If your God will punish you for knocking one out, its time to get a new God.
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I don't get it. I mean, why did they fuck with the formula? Where are the car songs? There's only one song about surfing and it's a downer!
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  #4  
ziggytrix ziggytrix is offline
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Old Mar 30th, 2006, 04:10 PM       
Amen.
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  #5  
Johnny Couth Johnny Couth is offline
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Old Mar 30th, 2006, 05:32 PM       
Should of given up carbonated beverages.
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  #6  
derrida derrida is offline
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Old Mar 30th, 2006, 08:28 PM       
Don't you get wet dreams if you don't have sex or masturbate?
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  #7  
Emu Emu is offline
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Old Mar 30th, 2006, 09:49 PM       
Wet dreams tend to not end in expulsion as you get older.
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  #8  
Dole Dole is offline
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Old Mar 31st, 2006, 02:37 PM       
they end in golf for the older gentleman
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I don't get it. I mean, why did they fuck with the formula? Where are the car songs? There's only one song about surfing and it's a downer!
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  #9  
Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
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Old Mar 31st, 2006, 03:47 PM       
Isn't lack of sexual release sort of a bad thing to do to yourself?
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  #10  
Skulhedface Skulhedface is offline
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Old Mar 31st, 2006, 04:03 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emu
Wet dreams tend to not end in expulsion as you get older.
Wouldn't that be "dust dreams" then?
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  #11  
Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
frappez le cochon rouge
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Old Mar 31st, 2006, 06:42 PM       
It's like that movie "Forty Days and Forty Nights", only less entertaining.
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Oh god fathom zero, you are revealing yourself to be completely awful
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  #12  
DamnthatDavid DamnthatDavid is offline
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Old Apr 1st, 2006, 07:52 AM       
I say, Video games of cartoony charachters.

But hey, masturbation is letting into your primal drives.
Mind over body, and soon you will have the power to levitate.
Or fall and miss the ground.
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  #13  
ZimTheHomicidalManiac ZimTheHomicidalManiac is offline
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Old Apr 1st, 2006, 10:43 PM       
Hey GUYS did you know that people who masturbate are usually weak and irritable and cant get none just letttin you know
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  #14  
maggiekarp maggiekarp is offline
noob 4eva
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Old Apr 1st, 2006, 10:58 PM       
Glue sandpaper to your hands
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  #15  
Emu Emu is offline
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Old Apr 2nd, 2006, 01:50 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZimTheHomicidalManiac
Hey GUYS did you know that people who masturbate are usually weak and irritable and cant get none just letttin you know
zim aren't you 14
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  #16  
ZimTheHomicidalManiac ZimTheHomicidalManiac is offline
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Old Apr 2nd, 2006, 01:59 PM       
Yes i am but..SURVEY SAYS weak and irritable
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  #17  
Terra Terra is offline
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Old Apr 4th, 2006, 02:41 AM       
I need to apologize to MLE.

Her thread in General Blabber makes perfect sense now.

I'm so sorry MLE! FORMAL APOLOGY!!!

(fuck me for being wrong)
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  #18  
Sethomas Sethomas is offline
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Old Apr 4th, 2006, 03:43 AM       
lol you can be wrong to me anytime am i right guys.
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  #19  
Rev. Danno Rev. Danno is offline
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Old Apr 9th, 2006, 06:52 AM       
do what I do for lent, give up on being sobber...
Honestly, do what makes you feel better, you are not hurting anyone, and confess to your local priest, or go to a church you don't go to normally and confess...
But don't feel guilty.
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  #20  
the_dudefather the_dudefather is offline
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Old Apr 16th, 2006, 03:28 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by maggiekarp
Glue sandpaper to your hands
am i the only one thinking of the sandpaper man in the mighty boosh?



....anyone?
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