Go Back   I-Mockery Forum > I-Mockery Discussion Forums > General Blabber
FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
MetalMilitia MetalMilitia is offline
Hitler's Canoe!
MetalMilitia's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: UK
Old Apr 25th, 2008, 12:53 PM        Best Punchlines In Comedy
Man gets something put over head (possibly a bucket):

WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS??

Man thinks he has caught a large fish:

is boot
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigtimecow View Post
japan
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Sethomas Sethomas is offline
Antagonistic Tyrannosaur
Sethomas's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: The Abstruse Caboose
Old Apr 25th, 2008, 01:22 PM       
One of my best friends is the type of guy who will tell an extremely racist joke, prefacing and following it with the justification that he "heard it from a black guy". One of his jokes took about two minutes to tell and it was obvious where it was going. A Russian with a bottle of vodka, a Mexican with a bottle of tequila, and an American with a bottle of beer all take turns drinking while all of them were evidently armed. Russian takes a sip of vodka then shows off his culture's wealth in vodka assets by shooting the bottle, saying "We have so much vodka that we don't need to save the entire bottle". Mexican does the same for tequila. American drinks his entire beer, then shoots the Mexican using similar logic. The Russian asks him why, and he replies in turn that America has too many Mexicans that they all need not be saved.

I pointed out to him that the final step of explanation was mostly superfluous, that he should have stopped at "Then he shoots the Mexican". I added that, in fact, most of the jokes he tells could just be concluded with "Then he shoots the Mexican", so now he has the habit of telling a bad joke with no clear punchline and following it with "then he shoots the Mexican!"
__________________

SETH ME IMPRIMI FECIT
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
BOO! A SPOOPY GHOST :x
Esuohlim's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: TO-DO LIST: WATCH TWIN PEAKS. CALL MOM.
Old Apr 25th, 2008, 01:56 PM       
QUICK WHAT'S THE NUMBER FOR 911
__________________


YOU MUST SPREAD SOME REPUTATION AROUND BEFORE GIVING IT TO SAM AGAIN
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Emu Emu is offline
Level 29 ♂
Emu's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Peoria, IL
Old Apr 25th, 2008, 02:05 PM       
rectum, damn near killed em
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Tadao Tadao is offline
☆☆☆☆☆
Tadao's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2002
Old Apr 25th, 2008, 05:05 PM       
That's what she said.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Sethomas Sethomas is offline
Antagonistic Tyrannosaur
Sethomas's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: The Abstruse Caboose
Old Apr 25th, 2008, 05:22 PM       
To get to the other side!
One can feed a small family!
Boy are my arms tired!
__________________

SETH ME IMPRIMI FECIT
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Emu Emu is offline
Level 29 ♂
Emu's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Peoria, IL
Old Apr 25th, 2008, 05:30 PM       
MONKEY CHEESE PIE =^_^= o.o;;;
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
Ancient Mariner
Grislygus's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2006
Old Apr 25th, 2008, 05:30 PM       
My name's john
__________________
IT'S A GOOFY BALL, MATTHEW. NOT A SUPER COMPUTER.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
frappez le cochon rouge
Fathom Zero's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: cancer
Old Apr 25th, 2008, 05:57 PM       
That's what she said.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
SKATASTIC
10,000 Volt Ghost's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Buffalo, NY
Old Apr 25th, 2008, 06:13 PM       
He died


(after sitting through my 45 minute joke)
__________________
God speed you meddling kids.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Sacks Sacks is offline
The Wrong Melon Farmer
Sacks's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: (つ♥ヮ♥)つ ٩๏̯͡๏)۶
Old Apr 25th, 2008, 06:19 PM       
I don't know his name but his face rings a bell.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
frappez le cochon rouge
Fathom Zero's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: cancer
Old Apr 25th, 2008, 06:22 PM       
and it turns out, he's a burn victim!
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Girl Drink Drunk Girl Drink Drunk is offline
Official forum judge
Girl Drink Drunk's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Canada
Old Apr 25th, 2008, 06:36 PM       
She was really a guy!
__________________
"Ignoring all the retarded anime shit and Guitar Woman fawning over a drawing to say that Toobin' is the best Tube similation since Virtual Bart."- Gadzooks
mockery.com/halloween/bag/costumequiz/default.php
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Emu Emu is offline
Level 29 ♂
Emu's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Peoria, IL
Old Apr 25th, 2008, 07:01 PM       
so the black guy said
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Tadao Tadao is offline
☆☆☆☆☆
Tadao's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2002
Old Apr 25th, 2008, 07:58 PM       
That's my wife!
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Emu Emu is offline
Level 29 ♂
Emu's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Peoria, IL
Old Apr 25th, 2008, 08:20 PM       
No, really!
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
after enough bourbon ...
Colonel Flagg's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Philadelphia
Old Apr 25th, 2008, 08:28 PM       
:-O
__________________
The future is fun,
The future is fair.
You may already have won!
You may already be there.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
frappez le cochon rouge
Fathom Zero's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: cancer
Old Apr 25th, 2008, 08:37 PM       
Look that up in your Funk & Wagnalls.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
executioneer executioneer is offline
OH GOD
executioneer's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2001
Old Apr 25th, 2008, 08:42 PM       
then he says "I hope your damn boat sinks" and starts stabbing himself all over the place with the fork
__________________
[COLOR=purple][COLOR=Magenta]SHAME ON A [COLOR=Pink]NIGGA WHO TRY TO RUN [/COLOR][URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVGI6mhfJyA"]GAME[/URL] ON A NIGGA[/COLOR]
[/COLOR]
Reply With Quote
  #20  
10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
SKATASTIC
10,000 Volt Ghost's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Buffalo, NY
Old Apr 25th, 2008, 09:15 PM       
Say Jasper what's after 75?

76

That's the spirit
__________________
God speed you meddling kids.
Reply With Quote
  #21  
J. Tithonus Pednaud J. Tithonus Pednaud is offline
Ringmonster
J. Tithonus Pednaud's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Old Apr 25th, 2008, 10:51 PM       
27 and you still believe in leprechauns?
__________________
The Human Marvels
'Presented for your edification and enlightenment Human Marvels await your intimate and learned inspection.'
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Kybo Ren Kybo Ren is offline
ni kar'tayl gar darasuum
Kybo Ren's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Cabot Cove, Maine
Old Apr 26th, 2008, 12:06 AM       
and I said, Get Your Own Monkey!
I'm from Jews for Jesus, why?
You're NOT a Republican?
__________________
Urgency without Panic, Action without Thoughtlessness.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
ziggytrix ziggytrix is offline
Mocker
ziggytrix's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: i come from the water
Old Apr 26th, 2008, 12:41 AM       
Peter, I can see your house from here!
__________________
BOYCOTT SIGNATURES!
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Guitar Woman Guitar Woman is offline
Drugs+drugs+rock+roll
Guitar Woman's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Portland, OR
Old Apr 26th, 2008, 08:10 AM       
And the pirate goes, "Yarr, it's drivin me nuts!"
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Sacks Sacks is offline
The Wrong Melon Farmer
Sacks's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: (つ♥ヮ♥)つ ٩๏̯͡๏)۶
Old Apr 26th, 2008, 02:43 PM       
Put it on my bill.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

   


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:31 PM.


© 2008 I-Mockery.com
Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.