Features

Perndog · #1

How does one go about attracting a young lady who, though she's pushing 20, hasn't yet discovered any hint of her own sexuality and hasn't even gone on a date in her life?

Just curious.

Emu · #2

ziggytrix · #3

What the fuck is wrong with you that after 2 years you haven't learned that this is the worst place in the entire internet to ask a serious dating question?

I suggest you hyponotize her with your spooky dark devil powers.

Sacks · #4

Walk up to her and act kind of flustered (stumble over a few words kind of but not when you're delivering the core lines) and ask her if she would like to go out for some food or something.

Guitar Woman · #5

There are like 5 million movies about this

King Hadas · #6

Play doctor with her

Perndog · #7

Ziggy, what makes you think this is a serious question?

Anyway, movies don't count. Those are scripted.

FartinMowler · #8

Jeez things really didn't change with you did it

kellychaos · #9

So, just how fat is she?

Perndog · #10

'bout 225-250.

kellychaos · #11

Don Henley just called. He said that there's, seemingly, no end to her innocence. :/

Jixby Phillips · #12

leave her alone!!!

xbxDaniel · #13

Quote:

Originally Posted by ziggytrix

What the fuck is wrong with you that after 2 years you haven't learned that this is the worst place in the entire internet to ask a serious dating question?

Maybe they come here to, you know, find out what the crazy people advise and then do the opposite. Anyways, I got some pretty good advice from some of these people. They are the reason I have a girlfriend and why I haven't been on in a while, like y'all really care.

FartinMowler · #14

Hey, Kelly the eighties called and they want there jokes back

or

Hey, Kelly why don't you get a job and tell me where you work so I can come in and order a burger with no onions and a extra f'n pickle

I could go on but I'm sure he will come back with something inane.

kellychaos · #15

Only you can accuse someone of a crime and commit the same transgression within the same reply. Way to go, sport. :irony?

Please don't edit your post, Fartin.

Guitar Woman · #16

What did he say

Tell me so I can make fun of him

kellychaos · #17

Buy BOB some batteries. The weekend's coming.

FartinMowler · #18

Perndog · #19

I'm told now that it might be impossible for me to hook up with this girl because I'm not a Christian (as far as this little community is concerned, I'm a garden-variety atheist). This is really sad.

The Retro Kat · #20

Just stick something pointy in her butt. She'll turn.

kahljorn · #21

In my experience fat girls don't really care about their religion when it comes to getting fucked.
For example:

There was this girl who received gastric bypass surgery to make her skinny(everybody gets that fucking surgery). Now, this lady was a hard-core christian or catholic or something like that. So not long after she gets this surgery she goes out and gets fucked. Then she gets pregnant. Now she wants to keep the baby because of her religious convictions.
What the fuck? one of the things they tell you when you get gastric bypass is YOU CANT HAVE KIDS. Why? Because your stomach is an ounce and you couldn't support a baby, nontheless yourself(i know people who had the surgery and their hair falls out). It's funny because, only now after she's already had sex outside of marriage(rather like a whore if i say so myself) and had a doctor ripping apart her insides for vanity does she start to think about how her religion would feel about her.

She was also offended by the doctor who told her to have an abortion, and so was her whole stupid family. What a bunch of stupid fucks. I wish I could slap all those stupid bastards. Speaking of bastards, how exactly does the church feel about bastard children born out of vanity and bullshit?

In essence; wear a condemn

. The fat ho will let you bone her because she has low self-esteem. Everybody knows that about fat ugly girls(most girls in general, really).

I feel disgusted saying that ;(