I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[Sethomas]

Sometimes I think that Fat_Hippo is a Rankeri character that he made because of his assumption that we wouldn't make fun of him if only he were from Switzerland. Switzerland, you may notice, is not quite the same thing as Finland, you see. He continues to post under the Rankeri name so that nobody suspects it, and also so that it would prevent us from talking about him behind the cyber equivalent of his back.

[RaNkeri]

Ah, I miss the good ol' days too

[Pandajuice]

Originally Posted by Sethomas

Sometimes I think that Fat_Hippo is a Rankeri character that he made because of his assumption that we wouldn't make fun of him if only he were from Switzerland. Switzerland, you may notice, is not quite the same thing as Finland, you see.

Yes, that's true. I'd be much more inclined to make fun of Finland than Switzerland. It's just easier.

Fun fact: The name Persephone (the Greek goddess) means "Assphone" in Finnish.

[MetalMilitia]

I had to take the day off work today to get my car exhaust pipe fixed. While I was waiting for the garage to stick the new one on I was involved in a minor road incident and had to call an ambulance for a woman (formerly) on a motorcycle.
Some van failed to stop quickly enough at a zebra crossing and knocked the woman off the bike.
She wasn't really hurt badly but while a bunch of passers-by were organising the traffic situation, making sure the woman was okay, calling the emergency services and all that stuff the van driver just sat in his van doing fuck all. He eventually got out and asked me what he should do and if he could go so I told him he needed to stay and wait for the police so he went and started examining the damage to his van.

He didn't even apologise to the motorcyclist. Some people

It was nice too see how helpful all the strangers (including myself :hat) were though.

[MetalMilitia]

In other news I just remembered this video I saw a few weeks ago:

http://www.clipal.com/video/pen_mightier

It's a kind of music video I guess with a really well re-mixed version of the first movement of the Moonlight Sonata.

[T-Rex]

My girlfriend's parents are in town tomorrow and I just know that I'm going to get dragged along to some lame dinner or something. How can I get out of it? I'd marry the woman but even so, I'm seriously thinking about breaking up with her to avoid an evening of total boredom with her olds. Her dad was in the RAF (Royal Air Force) and thinks being a pilot other than one in the military is for pussies. This is probably true but I don't need to hear it. Her mom's cool though. She says stuff like "I hope you're taking care of him" and "I hope she's taking care of you". Of course General Talks-a-bunch says things like "Real men take care of themselves and their women". I don't want to be impolite but the old mans an asshole. Maybe during dinner I can trip a waiter carrying a creamy pie and have him fling the it into her dad's rude condesending face.

I got out of it last time by saying my dad's car broke down and he needed me to pick him up. I waited for her to leave and played guitar hero.

[Pandajuice]

Just stand up for yourself man. It'll be fun and productive. It'll alleviate the boredom to piss the old guy off, and at the same time show him you have some balls and aren't afraid of him. It might even turn your girlfriend on too.

[Sethomas]

Well, you're in need of two paradigm shifts:

1. Realize that free food is good. At least, that's how it is the AMERICA, and I don't know of any cultural barriers that would shift that for Englishers.
2. Realize that by making such a big deal about things like this, you're kind of proving that her dad has a very valid point about you being a little bitch. Stop being a little bitch and maybe common ground will present itself and these things will be more tolerable.

[Pandajuice]

Originally Posted by Sethomas

Well, you're in need of two paradigm shifts:

1. Realize that free food is good. At least, that's how it is the AMERICA, and I don't know of any cultural barriers that would shift that for Englishers.
2. Realize that by making such a big deal about things like this, you're kind of proving that her dad has a very valid point about you being a little bitch. Stop being a little bitch and maybe common ground will present itself and these things will be more tolerable.

I concur. Another factor that Seth and I failed to mention is that, in addition to free food, you'll also receive what is tantamount to a utopian paradise to all Brits: free booze.

[Pub Lover]

Originally Posted by Sethomas

I just wanted to thank you for letting me justify my failure to reciprocate attraction via your fascinating understanding of where nebulae may be found.[/i]

It wasn't until 2006 (A year I'm in a way surprised to find isn't the present) that the International Astronomical Union set a reasonable definition of "planet". There being numourous uses of the word that disagree with the IAU's definition due to humanity's habits. A rather simple one would be 'Our planet is the world. The world is also the universe. Why isn't a planet the universe?'

[Pub Lover]

Originally Posted by Sethomas

Realize that free food is good.

British food?

[Pub Lover]

Originally Posted by Pandajuice

you'll also receive what is tantamount to a utopian paradise to all Brits: free booze.

OH SHIT! RUMBLED!

[Pandajuice]

Hey, I just call 'em like I see 'em PUB LOVER

[MetalMilitia]

Originally Posted by Pub Lover

British food?

British food is fantastic, Pub. The full English breakfast is like the Jesus of breakfasts... except for it kills you... so perhaps it should be called the Soviet Russian Jesus of breakfasts.

[Pub Lover]

Originally Posted by King Hadas

Antagonist: Enjoy this final moment of reprieve, old friend. For once the shadow on this sundial reaches twelve o'clock you will surely meet your maker.

Protagonist: I make my own fate, buster brown!

Antagonist: Perhaps you'd like me to dial 911? Although, I'm sure a janitorial service would be more beneficial after I'm done with you.

Protagonist: No need, I'm the one here to clean up and this place is looking mighty dirty!

Antagonist: Dirty? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder I suppose. To bad you won't have eyeballs once my Kinetic Conductor Relays boil them out of their sockets.

Protagonist: You're a boil on the American people and I'm here to lance you!

Antagonist: You know I consider Lance Armstrong to be a personal inspiration. I even named one of my ships after him. That was, of course, before you sunk my slave trading ring. Just like I'm about to sink you into this vat of molten lava!

Protagonist: You know, in all my life the only ship I've ever wanted to sail was friendship. Well guess what buddy. You just sunk my battleship!

Antagonist: Boardgames?! I remember when we used to play boardgames together. You never could beat me. I suppose, once again, this is checkmate.

Protagonist: I'm not one of your pawns, scum! I'm an American! I eat hamburgers for lunch, hot dogs for dinner and criminal scum like you for breakfast!

Antagonist: It is supper, isn't it? I suppose I'll leave you to this. Do try not to fry your own brain in your inevitable attempt at escape. Though, that might be increasingly difficult, what with your head being strapped into the Mind Overloader!

Protagonist: Get me a forklift and I'll overload you!

Free association movie scripts.

They always end with everyone involved screaming 'MOTHER FUCKER!'

That thread needs Fartin Mowler.

For all you new people, Fartin was the best character I ever created.

[Asila]

The house is still too quiet and I'm rapidly devolving into online activities that may be best described as 'attention whorish.'

I've outed myself about having a dating profile, right? And I justify it to myself because it's of the rare breed that doesn't require payment? Right.

Right, though now it's really only a matter of time before I attempt to satisfy my curiousity in regards to that topic.

[Pub Lover]

Originally Posted by MetalMilitia

British food is fantastic, Pub. The full English breakfast is like the Jesus of breakfasts...

Was I talking to a Brit? No, therefore I may have been referencing the rest of the world's opinion of our cuisine.

Our food is like an abusive spouse, we know we shouldn't go back... but we love them.

[MetalMilitia]

Oh fuck I just came up with a joke.

People kept telling me I had a dirty mind... so I moved to China.

Ohhh political. I'm now officially a political satirist.

You can substitute "moved to China" with "joined the Church of Scientology" depending on the situation.

[Asila]

Our food is like an abusive spouse, we know we shouldn't go back... but we love them.

There's a whole aisle down at the local supermarket devoted to british foods and I'm often tempted to have a brief but passionate affair with some Branston pickles.

[Sethomas]

We had both been to Europe before, but in 2002 my sister and I visited England together and that was a new experience for both of us.

Dealing with food, it wasn't strictly a matter of "that looks disgusting" or whatever, it was that if something sounded good on the menu then it always ended up being "ethnic cuisine", and we wanted a cultural experience that we couldn't really get in a 30 mile radius from home. All the English food was just... unremarkable.

But, yeah, one morning we went out for breakfast. Breakfast was wonderful. Thank you, England for understanding that a croissant and a demitasse of coffee is not "breakfast", even if it DOES happen to cost six euros.

When my sister actually moved to England a few years later, she sent me a postcard with a picture of an English breakfast for the image, and it was cut so that the card matched the shape of the plate. It's still hanging up on the wall downstairs, and when people ask me why I have a a random picture of a plate of food hanging up they fail to understand why I invest so much passion into my explanation.

[Sethomas]

hey asila if you want to try some spotted dick mines pretty fresh

[Asila]

I do not think you are helping the situation Seth, because I almost said okay

[Esuohlim]

Originally Posted by Asila

There's a whole aisle down at the local supermarket devoted to british foods and I'm often tempted to have a brief but passionate affair with some Branston pickles.

I frequent the British food aisle for its candy bars. America has nothing quite like Jaffa or Aero Mint bars I can tell you that right now

Except it does, you know, in the British food aisle I suppose

[Esuohlim]

Jafa, occasionally Jaffa, a derogatory term in New Zealand for an Aucklander

[Grislygus]

Originally Posted by Pandajuice

It helped me.

Does anyone else find it hilarious that those are not only BIG WORDS, but that they are also apparently VERY DIFFICULT TO PRONOUNCE

"visualize" THERE'S AN 'S' AND A 'Z' IN THERE, WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT

Originally Posted by Pub Lover

Also, all rap is rubbish.

I like MC Solaar He has artistry


Also, what in the hell is an aucklander, I've never known and am too lazy to look it up