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Bulletproof_Kennedy Bulletproof_Kennedy is offline
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Old Apr 27th, 2004, 09:21 PM        An Ode to my Mechanical Phallus.
My pocket keeps bleeping.

After hours of thought and careful deduction, I have come up with two possible reasons for this:

1. My Mobile phone is running out of battery power.

2. I have a mechanical penis.

I decided that the latter was the more interesting, and thus posted this thread. What are the advantages of a mechanical penis?

-Because it is not organic, it can be any size you wish: i.e, not 5.5 inches.

-You could program it to make a series of noises when you're randy, such as the Jaws theme.

-You would never have any need for viagra; when you want to be hard, simply press a button.

- It never gets tired.

- It could be detachable (remember that song, "Detatchable Penis" ?)
- Use it as a poking stick

-Use it to slap people

-Unbreakable

-Can be used for cooking, i.e. roller, egg beater, etc.
-Can be cleaned in a dish washer.
-Might could be converted into a lightsaber by a Jedi.
-Could have a GPS on it, so if you ever lose it during detachment, it'll be easy to find. No searching medicine cabinets and street salesmen's wares.

But now, what are the disadvantages of a mechanical penis?

-It starts bleeping when it runs out of power.

-If it gets wet, it might explode.

-If anybody finds out thou, shalt be mocked for an eternity.

-Could malfunction and go off at any time.
-Could malfunction and not go off. Ever.
-It would be hard to find someone willing to repair it, you'd do your own maintenance.
-Depending on its energy source, it could cost money via gas or batteries, or a high powered nuclear powered metal penis could spread radiation poisoning.

I would like to ask the community to aid me in making a larger list of advantages and disadvantages to having a mechanical cock. Thank you.
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Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
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Old Apr 27th, 2004, 09:26 PM       
You're like the Kennedy we want dead, but can't be killed by magic bullets that make the head explode.
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Karl Hungus Karl Hungus is offline
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Old Apr 27th, 2004, 10:49 PM       
back and to the left
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Terra Terra is offline
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Old Apr 27th, 2004, 11:01 PM       
Your going to have a hell of a time cornering the vibrator market. See, the whole point is to have "one" without an asshole attached. That's where vibrators come in. Some women like a little peace and quiet.

Your idea is more like a cyborgfuck from hell.
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Pub Lover Pub Lover is offline
Näyttelijäbotti!
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Old Apr 27th, 2004, 11:43 PM       
Are you saying all men are arseholes, or just the ones that post here are?

:drunk
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Spastic Colon Spastic Colon is offline
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Old Apr 28th, 2004, 12:07 AM       
Quote:
I would like to ask the community to aid me in making a larger list of advantages and disadvantages to having a mechanical cock. Thank you.
you got pretty much all of them. Good work. Go team.
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pope_hentai pope_hentai is offline
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Old Apr 28th, 2004, 03:27 AM       
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.
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Comrade Rocket Comrade Rocket is offline
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Old Apr 28th, 2004, 05:04 AM       
this thread is about Drew Carry now



He sure is a funny guy
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pjalne pjalne is offline
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Old Apr 28th, 2004, 06:59 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Terra
Your going to have a hell of a time cornering the vibrator market. See, the whole point is to have "one" without an asshole attached. That's where vibrators come in. Some women like a little peace and quiet.

Your idea is more like a cyborgfuck from hell.
See Tetsuo - The Iron Man.
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pope_hentai pope_hentai is offline
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Old Apr 28th, 2004, 01:25 PM       
drew carey is pretty funny. i really like him on "whose line is it anyways" even though improv sucks.
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sadie sadie is offline
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Old Apr 29th, 2004, 12:55 AM       
that's not an ode.
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VolCanon VolCanon is offline
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Old Apr 29th, 2004, 08:09 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Comrade Rocket
this thread is about Drew Carry now







He sure is a sexy guy
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Spastic Colon Spastic Colon is offline
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Old Apr 29th, 2004, 11:58 PM       
My God, I think there's a french fry stuck up his nose
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kellychaos kellychaos is offline
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Old May 1st, 2004, 12:18 PM       
This thread is NOW about Dave Attell. Go!! :rip

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Bulletproof_Kennedy Bulletproof_Kennedy is offline
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Old May 6th, 2004, 07:10 PM       
No. This thread is about Michael Jackson!

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ProfessorCool ProfessorCool is offline
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Old May 6th, 2004, 08:22 PM       
Dave Attell, asshole.
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