What the fuck? Help please.

[James]

Hi,

I am looking for James Light, I have found this e-mail address on a comment placed on Dec 3 2002, at the Elfwood website. Due to the fact there are millions of James Lights in the United States, and I am only trying to find one, if you recognize my e-mail address please respond- I have a lot I would like to say.

Thanks,

Sabryna

Now, I'm really fucking confused here. The James she is looking for IS me. But searching Elfwood for her name shows no results. I can't even find the comment I made that she's referring to.

I ran her name through some searches, and discovered three details about this person:

1) She's a co-chair for the Campus Girl Scouts organization.

2) She has a genealogy page, where she's composed a family tree. My surname, or ANY surname related to our family, is not included.

3) She lives in Georgia.

So this girl finds a comment I left on a website almost 2 1/2 years ago, contacts me, and "has a lot to say." Now, it's quite possible I'm NOT the James she's looking for, since she's apparently just trying to find one that recognizes her name. But why would she find my e-mail address like that?

This is seriously really fucking odd. And I'm a bit afraid to respond, because seriously, what the fuck?

[Mad Melvin]

Maybe you wrote something offensive and she wants to kill you!

[James]

Probably.

I replied. We'll see what happens from there.

[Emu]

Respond to her, and then if she's creepy say you're not the one she's looking for.

[Galvatron]

Whenever I'm in a dilemma where I can just ignore the problem without there being any consequences, I ignore it.

You know why you want to try to contact her. You're hoping she'll be hot and might even be "into" you. But considering the circumstances, that is not the case. At least the first part. But I don't blame you. I mean, who doesn't have fantasies about a hot chick taking notice of us for something we've done, but the problem is, alot of really attractive women aren't observant enough to notice...well..anything. But I'm going off on a tangent at this point.

Anyway. Ignore it, it's much easier that way

[ziggytrix]

I say have some fun with it. You know what you should do.

[Esuohlim]

James this could finally be the one that WON'T trade you in for a vibrator

[FS]

maybe "Sabryna" is just one of many aliases she uses on the web?

[Drev]

James should become a doctor.

[Mr. Oysterhead]

How do you know she's looking for you?

[Anonymous]

The e-mail would be a tip

[ziggytrix]

I hope this turns out fun.

[sports]

Same here.

[Mr. Oysterhead]

Originally Posted by Chojin

The e-mail would be a tip

The e-mail says she isn't so sure.

[James]

Dear Mr. Light,

I am sorry that I have been so cryptic, it's just that I didn't know the James Light I am looking for through buisness, we were lovers. One night we had this connection, he drew me, we made love and he moved a few days later. This all happened about five years ago, so much of what I remember about him is long gone but I am impelled to try to find him. I had his e-mail address but he changed it. So I have been trying to track him down via his art, which I find he has signed from time to time on the internet. Everyone seeems to have the one that got away, and he is mine.

I am looking for a James Light who lived in Pleasanton CA for about a year and then moved north out of state. I don't think your him, because he had apparently been in love with me for months before I knew more than his first name, and I would hope he would still remember mine. Just the same thanks for your help.

Best Wishes,

Sabryna Purselle

[AChimp]

E-mail her a picture of a penis, and be all like "REMEMBER THIS???"

[James]

Originally Posted by FS

maybe "Sabryna" is just one of many aliases she uses on the web?

The e-mail address she used was an .edu college IP. The college and the name both came up together when I searched just her name, and the state the college was in was also the state that she had listed on the geneaology site. I did all this research because I was trying to figure out what the fuck.

Originally Posted by Galvatron

Whenever I'm in a dilemma where I can just ignore the problem without there being any consequences, I ignore it.

You know why you want to try to contact her. You're hoping she'll be hot and might even be "into" you. But considering the circumstances, that is not the case. At least the first part. But I don't blame you. I mean, who doesn't have fantasies about a hot chick taking notice of us for something we've done, but the problem is, alot of really attractive women aren't observant enough to notice...well..anything. But I'm going off on a tangent at this point.

Anyway. Ignore it, it's much easier that way

OK, I will say this very nicely.

WHAT IN THE HOLY JESUS MCFUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

James: Explain to me something.
James: HELLO ARE YOU THERE HELLO
Chojin: I DO BELIEVE
James: Why is it whenever I make a thread that features a story involving people who are not me, some retard always decides to play Backseat Therapist and imposes their opinions upon my story?
James: A girl e-mails me. I am confused. "OH I BET YOU WANT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH HER LAFFO"
Chojin: cause of your reputation
James: But this is Galvatron, who just showed up recently. He wouldn't know of my hilarious character profile. :-(
Chojin: he is what we call an 'internet fag'
Chojin: they think about what they would do, realize it's lame and stupid, and then quickly apply it to someone else to distance themselves from it
James: That would make sense.
James: For the record:
James: http://familytreemaker.genealogy.com...0002photo.html
James: You take a look, and YOU decide if I was thinking "BOY I HOPE SHE LOVES ME!"
Chojin: she looks like one of those animals with stretched, wacky faces on greeting cards
James: She reminds me of those mushroom monsters from Mom and Dad Save the World. :-(
James: MY DREAM GIRLLLLL

[AChimp]

[Esuohlim]

Cropping out the rest of the head makes her look almost cute

[James]

She reminds me of the Mouth of Sauron, which means I'd probably have sex with her if she dressed up like him.

[McClain]

I'd hit it. The dude, I mean.

[James]

James: Also, the guy in the picture has his eyes WAY too close together.
James: Like, when I'm not looking directly at it, it looks like a Cyclops.
James: A Cyclops who's trying to lure me into his van with candy. :-(

Chojin stopped talking to me.

[felix_tibs]

I dunno man, that dude in the photo was pretty old... i mean, id still have hit and all but still...

[Cosmo Electrolux]

That's really weird James....creepy weird. I'm in agreement with Chimp on this one...or maybe just fuck with her and insist that it is you......

[NOT Jixby Phillips]

I have the perfect solution!