ok guys here is my story, i am warning you tho, there are about 30 pics. i also want to reiterate the fact that i really love these gifts from radomskyfears and i have been wearing the glowing bracelet everyday! my inner raver rejoices!
ok so i got my awesome secret santa gift in the mail....
and after several hours of trying to get through all these layers of tape
i was rewarded with a box full of fine gifts
along with this letter
dude, score! everything i need for a party and seven course dinner!
but wait, there is still something missing....
thats right ladies and felllas, no party is complete without some cheap 1990 Chardonnay and my pirate style mickey mouse ears. now we can have a fucking party.
(glug glug glug)
nothing like some vino to get the par-tay started!
ok, now to get dressed up. ill just put on my magic glowing bracelet of fun. isnt it beautiful the way it shimmers off the glass? i know, mesmerizing, right?
now i cant forget my safety glasses cuz sometimes parties, esp mine, can get a little out of hand, and its always a good idea to pratice safety first.
im just gonna put my wine over her in its Corset Cozy for safe keeping while i move forward in setting up for the party of the century.
thats some sexy wine!
(glug glug glug)
now on to the decorations!
i have never blown up a balloon before by putting a pump in it and pumping rapidly, but i have to admit. once i got used to it i really quite enjoyed it. hehe
look at these skills
now to lay out the elaborate meal i have arduously prepared for my guests..... i got some soda, some french fries, philli cheese steak, pizza, hamburger and for desert some home made vanilla ice cream! (yeah not only am i skilled at pumping balloons i am a kickass cook
phew that was some hard work
now i wonder when my guests will arrive.....
wait, whats that i hear?!?
me: oh hello Bird and Alien, have you arrived for my party?
Alien: yeah and we are fucking starving. we drove 43 hours without stopping, so can we cut the crap and get down to grubbing?
me: first things first, where is my present? its mandatory to bring presents to parties. its like the magic password to enter.
Bird: oh well we assumed just showing up would be enough since we drove 43 hours.
me: yeah , well here is what i think about that crazy nonsense!
fuck you both for your damn assumptions! dont you know when you ASSUME you make and ASS out of U and ME?
damn you Randomskyfears, damn you for just reminding me how little my so called friends actually love me.