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Old Jul 7th, 2008, 03:38 AM        Weekly Movie Review: Wanted
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Old Jul 7th, 2008, 04:00 AM       
i liked how
Spoilers!
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Old Jul 7th, 2008, 04:09 AM       
Excellent review, fully agree. My main problem with this movie is that it broke the cardinal rule of 'check-your-brain-at-the-door,-shut-up-and-watch' action movies, and that's that it took itself waaaay too seriously (that and the one-liners kinda sucked). The Loom of Fate, the many 'somber' moments, etc. Just doesn't work. And the characters were quite irritating, to the point where I was hoping main man Wesley would take a bullet in the brain (and I too love Morgan Freeman, but this just isn't his film). I'd say more, but I'm not sure how to put that 'spoilers' thing in.

Overall, I give this movie an 'eh, nothing special' on a good day (and some rather unkind words on a bad one). For a ridiculous, over-the-top, no-thinking action movie, I'm just sticking with Shoot 'Em Up, thank you very much.
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Old Jul 7th, 2008, 04:57 AM       
Saw the poster when I went to see Hancock (awesome movie). This looks good, but after watching Hancock in a theater where people bring their 3 year old kids (IT'S FUCKING PG-13) and TALKING ON THEIR CELL-PHONES FOR 8 MINUTES, I'm swearing off the whole "let's go see a movie" thing in favor of "It's DVD or the highway".
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Old Jul 7th, 2008, 09:11 AM       
I guess that Kitsunexus is right when he says that is impossible to enjoy a good movie when the theater is filled with a plethora of screaming kids and cell phone-obsessed gals.
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Old Jul 7th, 2008, 01:09 PM       
So long as no one in the audience has a laser pointer or one of those goddamn noise machines, I'm fine (it's also good when no one falls asleep and snores very loudly).
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Old Jul 7th, 2008, 02:06 PM       
Wow what theaters do you guys go to. I get the occasional loud kid in an R rated movie. But laser pointers and sound machines never. Of course I either catch a weekday morning Matinee, which are generally dead. Or I hit my local Bar/Theater which doesn't let people under 21 in to any movie after 7 pm.
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Old Jul 7th, 2008, 04:56 PM       
The comic is one of my favorite comics ever. And they completely raped it with the shit movie. Why take away awesome villains like Shithead and Mr. Rictus?
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Old Jul 7th, 2008, 06:18 PM       
I could tell by the commercials that this movie wouldn't be fantastic.
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Old Jul 7th, 2008, 06:32 PM       
I haven't seen it yet, and I'm not really in the mood for it either. As I grew old, my tolerance for crap diminished vigorously, and I simply can't stand stuff I would once enjoy lightheartedly. Besides, this Tumor Bumblebeemolotov guy simply doesn't stand to the hipe. Someone could review his duology (???) and bring it out for the public beating in the comments section.
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Old Jul 8th, 2008, 01:09 AM       
i think that if you had never read the comic or even knew of its existence, you might have liked the movie far better.
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Old Jul 8th, 2008, 03:05 AM       
i never read the comic, and i hated this movie to hell, so i doubt it
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Old Jul 8th, 2008, 06:46 AM       
Well, I saw it for free at a prerelease night with some friends. My first clue that it was going to be a stinker was when, after looking at the bullet in the beginning under an old Sherlock Holmes style magnifying glass for about two seconds, the random Indian woman declared it to be 'Untraceable'. Right. No chemical analysis, or anything. 3X magnification can tell me that.

But then, when the guy ran down the hallway and leapt through the office window FACE FIRST, I just almost fell out of my seat laughing. Why? Why in the world would you do that face first? Even if you had crazy, poorly defined super powers, there's no reason to jump through a window face first.

Anyways, the movie took itself way too seriously for how incredibly stupid it was, and characters seemed to just do things because that's what the plot called for them to do. Like when the main character accepts that the LOOM OF FATE knows who he should kill.

Another question I have, and I don't know if anyone else thought of this, but we're told that A.) There are people who's heartrates go over 400 BPM and thus they have super powers that don't make logical sense, and B.) An ancient sect of weavers somehow discovered that a loom that ran itself produced names in binary code and that those people should die for some reason. But we're never told what those two things have to do with one another.

I mean, even accepting the movies convoluted logic, how did these super high heart rate assassins end up tied together with the weavers? I understand the benefit the weavers would have of employing such people, but they never showed how they found out about them, or convinced them to work for them gratis.

Ah, another side note. Apparently his father was rich (you assume), but they kill people based on what a Loom tells them to do so... Does the Loom pay well?

And the Weavers finding out that they should kill the people the Loom mentions, didn't even bother explaining that when it would've taken about ten seconds. So we're left to assume that people find a device that magically produces names, and thus they decide to kill those people?

Gah... just thinking about all of that hurts my brain. I hated this movie. I'm glad I got a chance to see it for free to laugh at how absurd it was but otherwise it was awful.
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Old Jul 8th, 2008, 10:15 AM       
Morgan Freeman played the villian in the blockbuster movie Chain Reaction...I hope I didn't ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. Then again it's been out for at least ten years. Oh how I long for the days when Keanu Reeves was in everything.
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Old Jul 8th, 2008, 10:29 AM       
Morgan Freeman played the bad guy in a crappy Stephen King movie...can't remember which. Some crap about a friendly alien and a bad alien and young kids given abilities because the nuffy friend they looked after was the good alien...I dunno...Anyway Morgan Freeman was the determined and psychotic military dude trying to track down and kill...someone...really a forgetable movie. Morgan had really bad nose hair. That I remember...I'm so tired.
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Old Jul 8th, 2008, 04:14 PM       
that was dreamcatcher
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Old Jul 8th, 2008, 08:10 PM       
Morgan freeman controls armies of penguins with his firm, highly narrative voice.
we better stay off his bad side.
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Old Jul 9th, 2008, 10:28 AM       
Morgan Freeman also played a villain in Lucky Number Slevin, which is one of my fav movies. I've seen him as quite a few bad guys and I think he can play them pretty convincingly.
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Old Jul 9th, 2008, 06:11 PM       
And let's not forget Shawshank Redemption, where he portrayed a guy who murdered his wife, his wife's friend, and her kid.
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Old Jul 9th, 2008, 07:25 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uroboros View Post
Lucky Number Slevin, which is one of my fav movies
i couldn't get past the immensely retarded title, but i never really heard anything good about it either so i always felt justified in this
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Old Jul 9th, 2008, 09:15 PM       
Lucky Number Slevin was amazing.
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Old Jul 9th, 2008, 10:31 PM       
if you say so, i'm still not watching it
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Old Jul 10th, 2008, 02:45 AM       
Been meaning to watch that one, actually. It keeps getting good reviews.

And Roggs, it never says who he supposedly murdered in Shawshank.
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