Go Back   I-Mockery Forum > I-Mockery Discussion Forums > General Blabber
FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Sacks Sacks is offline
The Wrong Melon Farmer
Sacks's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: (つ♥ヮ♥)つ ٩๏̯͡๏)۶
Old Nov 20th, 2009, 04:51 AM        Most Insulting Crimes Against You
I just had this idea for a thread because it's too late for me to call anyone and yell over the phone. Have their been crimes committed against you? Have any of them been particularly cruel or insulting? Here is mine:

So I just got back from going out to my van to go seek sustenance in the early hours of the morning. The scene played out like a movie as I have my door lights turned off so I get in and it's pretty dark. Before I put my key in the ignition I can feel that something isn't right. Just then there is this bolt of lightning that lights the interior of my car and for a split second my eyes land on the gaping hole where my stereo used to be. This isn't too big a deal as there have been stereo thefts in the area before and I'd paid $50 for this one and the aux input was busted. That's when I realized that must have only been an after thought during this scumbag's crime spree. Let me fill in some back story here. My friends are dicks with no regard for other people's belongings and the fling their bodies all over my van as they're getting in and kick the shit out of my console. It had been breaking off piece by piece for months now and after the glovebox went the brittle plastic never had a chance. So for the past few months I've been rolling around with this piece of plastic and a cupholder just hanging out. I loved this cupholder. It held my phone, my change, whatever I wanted, no questions asked. Well this son of a bitch took it from me. It was all I had left and he ran off into the night with it. What is he even going to do with it? Does he have a 1995 GMC Safari with just that perfect piece of his console missing? I don't fucking think so, because if his console was busted up he'd know how that feels and he wouldn't have taken my god damn cupholder.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
executioneer executioneer is offline
OH GOD
executioneer's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2001
Old Nov 20th, 2009, 05:07 AM       
i had someone break into my car and not take anything, but they left the doors ajar they didn't take my checkbook, the change I had in the ashtray, anything. it was like saying "HEY, YOU'RE NOT EVEN GOOD ENOUGH TO ROB", plus it made me feel a lot worse about the neighborhood i'd just moved into.
__________________
[COLOR=purple][COLOR=Magenta]SHAME ON A [COLOR=Pink]NIGGA WHO TRY TO RUN [/COLOR][URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVGI6mhfJyA"]GAME[/URL] ON A NIGGA[/COLOR]
[/COLOR]
Reply With Quote
  #3  
10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
SKATASTIC
10,000 Volt Ghost's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Buffalo, NY
Old Nov 20th, 2009, 09:36 AM       
Someone broke into my '90 Honda Civic hatchback on VALENTINES DAY and stole my gift for my girlfriend. How many people want Betty Page Pillow cases. They also stole my spare cologne bottle and my music collection.(Which really bothered me because its not even music that most people would enjoy.)
__________________
God speed you meddling kids.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
stevetothepast stevetothepast is offline
Esq.
stevetothepast's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Old Nov 20th, 2009, 09:42 AM       
someone broke into my house once and stole a wireless xbox controller and a bong.

not the xbox and games.

not the weed.

I couldn't wrap my head around it.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Terra Terra is offline
MAMA MIA!
Terra's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2004
Old Nov 20th, 2009, 09:45 AM       
Somebody broke into my car and took my daughter's toy phone. Boy, did my blood BOIL!!!!

Now she has a cookie monster flip phone that she lets me borrow from time to time.
__________________
Oh fuck it
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Dimnos Dimnos is offline
LOVES the tubal ligation!
Dimnos's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Baseball Town, TX
Old Nov 20th, 2009, 11:10 AM       
One day, back when I was in high school, I went out to my car to find the hatch back just sitting there open. I had that sinking feeling in my stomach. I get out to the car to find they took all my speakers, my backpack and my ID I kept in the center console. Nothing else. They left me with my stereo, my CDs and my wallet with $20. So here I am with a stereo that I cant listen to because they jacked my speakers. A case full of CDs I cant listen to, because again, no speakers. And worst of all no school work. Who the fuck steals someones school work?!!?! Deciding that there wasnt anything I could really do right then I closed the back and started driving to school. Half way down my street I found my speakers. Smashed in the middle of the road. WTF! They jack my speakers just to smash them in the road but keep my backpack and my ID? Dumbfounded is the only way I can describe how I felt. Oh yeah. That and violated. Dicks.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Esuohlim View Post
Exactly. Life's too short to not be ejaculating as often as possible
Reply With Quote
  #7  
elx elx is offline
Mocker
elx's Avatar
Join Date: May 2009
Old Nov 20th, 2009, 11:23 AM       
i've never had anything stolen from me. just people going out of their way to return stuff i dropped, left, or lost. like $50 bill, younger sibling, laptop, cellphone, ipod, necklace, dog..etc
__________________
Hey elx, your sig is too big. 400 x 100 pixels is the limit, son

-MODERATOR MILHORSE
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Sam Sam is offline
The Unicorn
Sam's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
Old Nov 20th, 2009, 12:44 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by stevetothepast View Post
someone broke into my house once and stole a wireless xbox controller and a bong.

not the xbox and games.

not the weed.

I couldn't wrap my head around it.
MAYBE THEY ALREADY HAD WEED AND AN XBOX.

THEY JUST NEEDED ACCESSORIES


FUCKING HELL
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Zomboid Zomboid is offline
The Wolf
Zomboid's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Give me the coffee and no one gets hurt! LOL
Old Nov 20th, 2009, 02:21 PM       
YOU IGNORANT FUCK
__________________

That was very funny. Well done.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
LordSappington LordSappington is offline
Token Bleeding Heart
LordSappington's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Intermission in the THIRD DIMENSION
Old Nov 20th, 2009, 03:02 PM       
I came back from the bathroom once to find a bunch of slices of pizza jammed in my backpack, ruining my work and textbooks.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Esuohlim View Post
You are what they call a deficient human being
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Evil Robot Evil Robot is offline
hAS RUG-BURN
Evil Robot's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Non-trendy NYC enclave
Old Nov 20th, 2009, 07:30 PM       
I've never had any crimes committed against me, but the other day I broke into this GMC safari and stole the guys radio and cup holder to replace the one somebody stole from me. The radio had a CD, it was Captain and Tennille.
__________________
"We're equally proud of our safety record. Not once in our nearly 50 years of operation has an animal pathogen escaped from the island."
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Sacks Sacks is offline
The Wrong Melon Farmer
Sacks's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: (つ♥ヮ♥)つ ٩๏̯͡๏)۶
Old Nov 20th, 2009, 09:31 PM       
Me and the Captain made it happen.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
ZeldaQueen ZeldaQueen is offline
Insane Writer
ZeldaQueen's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: On the border of my Outer Circle of Thought
Old Nov 20th, 2009, 10:50 PM       
When I was in high school, someone stole my calculator (one of those fancy ones with Tetris on it) off of the lunch table when I walked two feet to the left to throw out my garbage. Not a one of my friends sitting around me had ANY idea who took it. What was really insulting was that when I went to report it to the lunch monitors, they basically asked the people sitting around me "did you see where the calculator went?" (WHICH I ALREADY DID!) before throwing up their hands and telling me "Oh well, too bad". Ugh. Matters were actually made worse about two months later, when someone's backpack went missing and they actually shut down the cafeteria and wouldn't let anyone out until they found it.

My dad had one some years back, as well. Some bozo hit his car at an intersection. No one was hurt, but my dad's car was pretty banged up. The offender stopped, got out, looked like he wanted to hit my dad, and turned right up a nearby street. What insulted my dad was that when he called the police, they seemed much more bothered by the fact that the guy took an illegal right turn up that street than the fact that he hit my dad's car.
__________________
"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But," says Man, "The Babel fish proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
captain516 captain516 is offline
Amicable Herculean
captain516's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: looking for a decent cheeseburger
Old Nov 20th, 2009, 11:14 PM       
Lunch monitors? what kind of high school did you go to?
Reply With Quote
  #15  
ZeldaQueen ZeldaQueen is offline
Insane Writer
ZeldaQueen's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: On the border of my Outer Circle of Thought
Old Nov 22nd, 2009, 12:07 AM       
It was a volunteer position. Basically they hung around and made sure we didn't cut in the food line, abuse our hall pass privileges, squirt ketchup on each other, etc. No idea what the incentive was for people to sign up for it. It completely validated my theory though, that people who worked at the high school for reasons other than teaching were completely nuts (one memorable monitor apparently wigged out on a guy for taking an extra plastic fork).
__________________
"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But," says Man, "The Babel fish proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: NO
Old Nov 22nd, 2009, 12:29 AM       
ONE TIME SOME ASSHOLE ON A MESSAGE BOARD GAVE ME AN INFRACTION BECAUSE HES A COCKSUCKER.
__________________
NEVER
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Sam Sam is offline
The Unicorn
Sam's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
Old Nov 22nd, 2009, 12:34 AM       
ONE TIME THIS STUPID BASTARD WHO I THOUGHT WAS MY FRIEND AND MAYBE MORE WANTED TO PLAY LEFT 4 DEAD 2 WITH SOMEONE ELSE BUT IT IS OUR FUCKING GAME A GAME THAT WAS PLAYED BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE DESPERATELY SEEKING A DEEPER CONNECTION AND THAT CONNECTION WAS FOUND A PACT OF INTIMACY WAS FORGED AND NOW THEY ARE FUCKING DISGRACING THIS PACT WITH THEIR WHORE WAYS
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #18  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: NO
Old Nov 22nd, 2009, 12:41 AM       
A BROAD SCORNED I TELL YA

MAYBE THIS "PERSON" OR "STUPID BASTARD" WHO YOU "THOUGHT WAS" your "FRIEND" was only trying to increase the enjoyment of your gamestyle with a little three-way?
__________________
NEVER
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Bod Bod is offline
Member
Bod's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: UK
Old Nov 23rd, 2009, 04:54 PM       
My current ex was arsey with me for a week before we eventually fell out and split up. It wasn't until after this that I found out why. A week previous I'd left my cellphone at his house and in his wisdom he'd decided to go through my messages sent and received. His gripe it turned out was that he'd found a naked picture of an arse sent to a mystery man.

I don't know whether to be more angry at:

1. He was checking up on me and snooping through my phone
2. He never gave me a chance to explain.
3. The mystery man was in the USA and his phone not being compatible with mine, he didn't actually receive the image as it would have cost him $s to retrieve it.
4. The arse in question in fact is not mine, but belongs to a big and hairy man who was holding apart his cheeks so you could see the hole in fine detail and that my ex thought it was my feminine bum and thought that this was my idea of being sexy!!

This is a crime against my privacy and pride.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Tadao Tadao is offline
☆☆☆☆☆
Tadao's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2002
Old Nov 23rd, 2009, 05:06 PM       
Your ass looks like a hairy man ass?
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Bod Bod is offline
Member
Bod's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: UK
Old Nov 23rd, 2009, 05:08 PM       
NO IT DOESN'T!!!!!

This is why I'm the most pissed!!!

I think.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Kitsa Kitsa is offline
teacup of sunshine
Kitsa's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: curator of the WTFbus museum
Old Nov 23rd, 2009, 05:11 PM       
I'm pretty pissed at the company who polluted our drinking water supply and gave my entire family cancer.

I'm also pissed that after the court ordered them to supply bottled water to the area because the drinking water was unusable, the bottled water also turned up positive for the carcinogen.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: NO
Old Nov 23rd, 2009, 09:34 PM       
dude you guys didn't get that julia roberts lady to sue their pants off for you?
__________________
NEVER
Reply With Quote
  #24  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: NO
Old Nov 23rd, 2009, 09:48 PM       
ALSO THE NEW MOST INSULTING CRIME AGAINST ME IS WHEN SOME UNNAMABLE PERSON NAMED CHOJIN SAID THAT I WORK AT MCDONALDS

IM SO INSULTED AND ANGRY
__________________
NEVER
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Kitsa Kitsa is offline
teacup of sunshine
Kitsa's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: curator of the WTFbus museum
Old Nov 23rd, 2009, 10:45 PM       
no, there's cancer stuff that happens that's completely unrelated to erin brockovitch. I haven't even seen that movie.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

   


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:59 AM.


© 2008 I-Mockery.com
Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.