Go Back   I-Mockery Forum > I-Mockery Site Forums > Article Discussion
FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Thread Tools Display Modes
MockBot MockBot is offline
MockBot's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: I-Mockery Headquarters, USA
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 03:51 AM        Weekly Movie Review: Transformers
Automatically generated comment thread for Weekly Movie Review: Transformers.
Reply With Quote
Nick Nick is offline
Nick's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Bama
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 06:19 AM       
I never understood why the decided to cover Optimus Prime with flames. It seemed just too childish for me.
Reply With Quote
Molly Molly is offline
Molly's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2007
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 07:06 AM       
"A lot of people apparently loved this movie, which is bad news for them, because this is a movie made for stupid people."

I concur!

And the "sneaking through the backyard" scene is used as effective torture in most countries.
Reply With Quote
OxBlood OxBlood is offline
drifting in the void
OxBlood's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Germany
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 07:33 AM       
I remember myself calling out for "Robo-Destruction" about ten times in that movie and what do I get? Some boring teenagers talking about things that are NOT Robo-Destruction. This movie fails. Oh, and the "What´s your Credit-Card-Number Sir?"-Scene was one of the worst things I have seen in a loooong time.
Reply With Quote
Kilgore Cod Kilgore Cod is offline
Kilgore Cod's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 07:38 AM       
I'm one of those stupid people who liked the movie, enough to see it four times.

Flame away!
Reply With Quote
Purple Man Purple Man is offline
Purple Man's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Anywhere but the Raft.
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 07:40 AM       
I agree utterly with this review. But then, my love affair with Transformers had been brutally and cruelly ended with the original movie, when my man Kickback was killed. They broke my heart and I never looked back.
Reply With Quote
MetalMilitia MetalMilitia is offline
Hitler's Canoe!
MetalMilitia's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: UK
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 08:25 AM       
This was seriously one of the worst pieces of crap I've seen in a long time. I think Southpark lampooned Bay's efforts most effectively in the Imagination Land episode; Some generals were trying to get some good ideas about how to fight the terrorists by interviewing film directors. Micheal Bay sits down and starts describing how a truck could flip over and slide along the road then explode into a million pieces. One general says something along the lines of "Uhh, that's not a movie you're describing... that's a special effect". The other general leans over and says in a hushed tone "he doesn't know the difference".

That really sums this film up.
Originally Posted by bigtimecow View Post
Reply With Quote
RaNkeri RaNkeri is offline
Fucking Finland
RaNkeri's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: You already know :(
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 09:39 AM       
Well, atleast the sound score was great. [Track 10 - Scorponok]

But yeah, I haven't really followed the cartoons, but I found the movie quite average. Not something worth of 8€ though.
Originally Posted by Esuohlim View Post
You're so fucking fat Rankeri seriously
Reply With Quote
Pentegarn Pentegarn is offline
Clap if you love Dynamo
Pentegarn's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: In a dystopian future
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 10:06 AM       
Thank you, sir.

My gut instinct was to avoid this movie at all cost. I am glad to see from this review that my instincts served me well.
Reply With Quote
BakaGaijin BakaGaijin is offline
BakaGaijin's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: NY
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 11:06 AM       
I actually liked it. I turned off my brain, tried to look at it independently (not as the TF fanboy I am), and in rewatching a few of the cartoons, realized that it's not any better or worse than they were. It's kind of like the 2008 Godzilla. Gripes aside, it wasn't any better than some of the worse Toho flix. The big G is my fav and even though the Broderick flick was horrible, it still was better than Godzilla's Revenge.
Reply With Quote
Hugo Hugo is offline
Tropical Viking
Hugo's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2007
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 11:33 AM       
I didn't hate it that bad, but probably because I don't know the first thing about Transformers. I've never seen the TV series, and didn't have any of those toys, so even if optimus and bumblebee had a gay affair I wouldn't really mind. But I understand people going frustrated about this live-action port, because I have also been frustrated before (Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil, Street fighter, oh, childhood memories...) and, well, the movie is dumb, the robot design is way convoluted, but I found it quite watchable. I've enjoyed seeing giant robots on screen, and despite all those design issues, I tought it looked quite impressive.
And there was this other phrase in the contest, "It's prime time!"
Reply With Quote
incognit000 incognit000 is offline
From the Home of MST3K
incognit000's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2006
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 01:36 PM       
I saw this movie for free before it was released, as a guest of Oscar Meyer and Lunchables (one of the union guys had two tickets and didn't want to go see a "kiddie flick" so he let me have 'em) and I /still/ felt ripped off. About halfway through I started riffing the movie, and I almost got thrown out.

I still think that my parting remark was the best:
Optimus: "But there is goodness in them."

Needless to say I beat feet out of there before the men in suits could find out who I was and who had given me tickets.
Reply With Quote
D-MoN D-MoN is offline
James Brown in hiding
D-MoN's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Calgary Alberta Canada
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 02:28 PM       
The first X-Men movie is a very very horrible example to use for cheracterization, especially when one bitches about cheracter discrepancies between the original source material and what we all saw on the big screen. Magneto wanting to turn everyone into mutants? Exploiting Rogue to do it? Sabretooth, one of the greatest villians in X-Men history resorted to a growling ape. Storm did nothing but stare pensively at everything like she was sucking on a sour kid way waaay too long. Yeah, THAT was a horrid movie.

Transformers? Not so bad. I grew up with the toys and the cartoons and enjoyed the movie. Lots of people complained about the cheracter designs but when we look at the old steel mullet on Megatron's head and the new, more demonic appearance he has it was an all to welcome change. Transformers in general was such a rediculous premise that it was nice to see it given somewhat of a realistic treatment. Namely because I'm not eight anymore and in order for me to be involved with what's on screen I have to be able to relate.

This movie was great. Make no mistake, it is by no means a masterpiece but it does do what it promises to do, that is be loud, explosive, flashy and entertaining. The fights thought chaotic and outright distracting at times is also understandable because the whole thing is told from a human point of view because essentially the movie is about a group of humans and the race as a whole trapped in an extra ordinary circumstance.

The common critisism most nerds have had reguarding the movie is the lack of the Transformers in it. Call me a straight male here but the movie has Megan Fucking Fox in it. This woman is possibly the finest looking lady to hit the screen in a long ass time. They coulda called that movie Transformers and the only nod to the original would have been Optimus flipping off the audience. If it was Megan running around in a bikini I wouldn't notice, nor care. If the movie's got someone as sexy as that in a belly shirt and mini skirt and you're complaining there's not enough giant robots in it? You're taking your hobby entirely too seriously.

Good movie, I had a blast but that's probably because I don't take it or myself too seriously.
Reply With Quote
Dr. Boogie Dr. Boogie is offline
Funky Dynamite
Dr. Boogie's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Help, I'm lost!
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 03:21 PM       
I was at a disadvantage when I saw the movie because it was playing in the other room while I was doing something else, so all I got was the awful dialog and uninteresting characters. Eventually, I came out to watch, and I thought there were some interesting designs for the transformers, and their animations were really well done. I'm not really familiar with the original stuff, but it still looked ok. Unfortunately, there was all this other crap on the periphery that kept it from being a good movie. Really, if they just condensed it to just the big fight at the end, I don't think anyone would object. They could call it a "Director's Cut".
Dr. Boogie: Everything is so simple when you have a rocket launcher for an arm!

Reply With Quote
dj boobs dj boobs is offline
CEO Boobs
dj boobs's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Chicken Skull
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 04:03 PM       
Whether or not the designs were too far from the original for your taste it was still cool to see them fight and transform. Sure, scenes like Sam's backyard and Jazz's "urban" colloquialisms were weak attempts at humor. But watching Barricade chase Bumblebee or Optimus shiv Devestator through the head was quite thrilling. A movie based off a cartoon that was only a big product placement itself to begin with; I'd say it wasn't that bad.
Reply With Quote
comhcinc comhcinc is offline
I likes PIE!
comhcinc's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Rocket City, USA
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 04:27 PM       
i broke up with a woman over this film. she liked it and i could no longer bring myself to be around her.
Reply With Quote
Not You Not You is offline
2 cool for school
Not You's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: virgin territory
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 05:09 PM       
Humans are more than meets the eye *tear*.
Reply With Quote
Phobetor Phobetor is offline
Forum Virgin
Join Date: Jan 2008
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 05:38 PM       
I saw this movie 3 times in the week it came out. Not because it was good, oh no. Because I had three friends who all wanted to see it with me but couldn't do it the same day.

No good deed goes unpunished, as they say.
Reply With Quote
Built in the 80s
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: New Zealand
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 07:05 PM       
I think one pickle is a bit harsh, but otherwise i agree with what your saying. The depressing thing is i walked out of the movie releived that Bay hadn't ruined Transformers even more! It's safe to say that my expectations were pretty low.

What i don't understand is why they didn't get Welker for Megatron? Surely he could still do a fairly decent Megatron. It sounds lame but i actually had tears in my eyes when i heard Cullen's voiceover at the beginning, as this wave of nostalgia crashed over me. Not long after that (maybe two minutes) i felt the cold hard smack back to reality when i realised that this was NOT going to be a good film.
Reply With Quote
Madman914 Madman914 is offline
Madman914's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: In Tom Carvel's larynx
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 07:20 PM       
Honest to God I was a big fan of this franchise. Then I saw the movie. Now every time I even hear about this movie or the franchise I have to punch a baby. After reading this article alone 5 infants got suckered.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Reply With Quote
whoareyou whoareyou is offline
Forum Virgin
whoareyou's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 07:44 PM       
I gotta say as much as I love the originals I also like this movie. I think it works as a movie. As far as the non boxy look, look at cars. The cars in the 80's were boxy cars now are more streamlined. The "my bad" line, they learned english through the radio and internet, the originals used slang from the time and so do these.
Reply With Quote
EndersGame EndersGame is offline
Your Doing It Wrong
EndersGame's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Seattle
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 07:57 PM       
The one thing i couldnt stand beyond the savage product placement (i.e. XBox-bot, the Mountaindewinator, and the Nokia Death-bot) was the pathetic, rushed attempt to have a love story meshed with a robotic battle for the sake of humanity.... "omg im so hot" "omg your so hot" "omg i used to watch my dad steal cars" "omg i hate you and everything stand for despite the fact that ive been swooning over your fucking vagina for the whole movie" "omg just because i used to steal cars doesnt mean im not still hot" "omg your right, hold my hand while giant robots and blowing up everything in sight" "i love you" "ROBOTS!!!"
Reply With Quote
Entreri21 Entreri21 is offline
Dr.Acula MD
Entreri21's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 11:44 PM       
Fuck the robots, I watched this movie for the palpable sex dripping from Megan Fox...

Oh who am I kidding, I teared up when Prime transformed for the first time. Then threw up during the "hiding in the backyard" scene.
Reply With Quote
Autrach Sejanoz Autrach Sejanoz is offline
Is a thin donkey
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Somewherein, Australia
Old Jan 14th, 2008, 11:53 PM       
Protoclown, I honestly thought you were going to give this a 0.5, consider your hatred for Michael Bay.

Compared to the cartoons, this well and truly sucked. Any movie that has Linkin Park in it's soundtrack immediately sucks in my book.

And to all those who are defending it because of Megan Fox (Who fully deserves her last name), just download naked pictures of her off the net like everybody else.
Reply With Quote
Jaimas Jaimas is offline
Forum Chaos Lord
Jaimas's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Old Jan 15th, 2008, 02:44 AM       
I'd give it a solid 1.5 Pickles, since it's not done by Uwe Fucking Boll.

The movie focuses entirely too much on the wholly unlikable protagonist and his useless accessory female counterpart. Had they merely focused on the giant fucking robots - hell, keep the damn marines as well - the movie wouldn't have suffered so much fail.

But noooo, we have fecking silly robot hijinks, Bumblebee urinating on someone, and miscellaneous stupid crap in such gargantuan numbers that it boggles the mind. Hell, there are extras in this movie with more screen time than Jazz.

Micheal Bay needs to be shot. In the face. With a crowbar.
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:14 AM.

© 2008 I-Mockery.com
Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.