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KevinTheOmnivore KevinTheOmnivore is offline
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Old Mar 20th, 2004, 02:41 AM        You be the president-- choose your cabinet
So yes, my loser friends and I do have discussions about this kind of crap. So anyway, you're the president. Pick your cabinet, and maybe explain why you chose that person. The slots you need to fill are as follows:

Vice President:
Department of Agriculture:
Department of Commerce:
Department of Defense:
Department of Education:
Department of Energy:
Department of Health & Human Services:
Department of Homeland Security:
Department of HUD:
Department of the Interior:
Department of Justice:
Department of Labor:
Department of State:
Department of Transportation:
Department of the Treasury:
Department of Veteran Affairs:
EPA:
Office of Management and Budget:
Office of National Drug Control Policy:
U.S. Trade Rep.:
Chief of Staff:

Sub-cabinet:

Natl. Security Advisor:
Press Secretary:
CIA Director:
FBI Director:
Senior Advisor:
Federal Reserve Board:
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Royal Tenenbaum Royal Tenenbaum is offline
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Old Mar 20th, 2004, 12:06 PM       
gay.
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Bennett Bennett is offline
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Old Mar 20th, 2004, 12:24 PM       
Vice President: Punky Brewster
Department of Agriculture: Snoop Dogg
Department of Commerce: Ron Popeil
Department of Defense: Matthew Broderick
Department of Education: Vickie from Small Wonder
Department of Energy: Soundwave
Department of Health & Human Services: Dr. Mindbender
Department of Homeland Security: Orkin man
Department of HUD: Bob Vila
Department of the Interior: Thom from Queer Eye
Department of Justice: Judge Reinhold
Department of Labor: Lavar Burton
Department of State: Ameet Upadhya (because he beat me in the 5th grade spelling bee)
Department of Transportation: Astrotrain
Department of the Treasury: the guy with the questionmark suit
Department of Veteran Affairs: Cap'n Crunch
EPA: Manimal
Office of Management and Budget: Mr. Belvedere
Office of National Drug Control Policy: Corey Haim and Corey Feldman
U.S. Trade Rep.: Spike (from the Mott's commercial)
Chief of Staff: Tecmo Bowl Bo Jackson

Sub-cabinet:

Natl. Security Advisor: Larvell Jones
Press Secretary: Mahoney
CIA Director: Tackleberry
FBI Director: Hightower
Senior Advisor: Commandant Eric Lasard
Federal Reserve Board: Sweetchuck
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El Blanco El Blanco is offline
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Old Mar 20th, 2004, 01:02 PM       
Vice President: Matthew Lillard- greatest sidekick ever

Department of Agriculture: Woody Harrelson

Department of Commerce: Nikki Hilton (way hotter than that Downe-Syndromed sister of hers)

Department of Defense: Bill Belichek (or however you spell it)

Department of Education: Bill Nye the Science Guy

Department of Energy: Alyssa Milano

Department of Health & Human Services: Jamie Lynn Discala

Department of Homeland Security: Elisha Cuthbert

Department of HUD: Jay-Z

Department of the Interior: The Queer Eye guys

Department of Justice: Rudy Guilianni

Department of Labor: Dave Grohl

Department of State: James Earl Jones (but there would be a real fancy set up for him)

Department of Transportation: Funk Master Flex

Department of the Treasury: Scrooge McDuck

Department of Veteran Affairs: Larry Hamma

EPA: Monica Belluci

Office of Management and Budget: Tyra Banks

Office of National Drug Control Policy: Nate Dog

U.S. Trade Rep.: Wink Martendale

Chief of Staff: Donald Fehr

Sub-cabinet:

Natl. Security Advisor: Samuel L Jackson (I would be giddy waiting for those breifings)

Press Secretary: Rummsfeild (oh come on, like you don't love watching him yell at the press)

CIA Director: Bruce Willis

FBI Director: Michael Chiklis

Senior Advisor: Jack McKeon

Federal Reserve Board: Tara Reid (any speech she makes will be considered good news)

I know a handful of those will be obscure to most of you, but those who get them will realize just why they are so appropriate.

And now, who wants to live in my country?
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KevinTheOmnivore KevinTheOmnivore is offline
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Old Mar 20th, 2004, 02:32 PM       
Rudy as Attorney General. That's HILARIOUS!!!

EDIT: Okay, since most of you are playing funny to cover up the fact that you wouldn't know who to put in any of these positions, then pick FIVE serious ones, and then return to being brain dead I-Mockers....
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The_Rorschach The_Rorschach is offline
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Old Mar 20th, 2004, 04:45 PM       
Sort of tongue in cheek. Couldn't fill them all in, but I got a couple. Only two serious ones though.

Vice President: Ross Perot

Department of Defense: John McEnroe
Department of Education: Paula Roundstone
Department of Energy: Kenneth Lay

Department of Homeland Security: Major General Harold Mashburn Jr. -Serious
Department of the Interior: Scott Ritter -Serious
Department of Justice: Clint Eastwood

Department of Transportation: Andre Hakim
Department of the Treasury: William Buffet
Department of Veteran Affairs: Jack Nicholson
EPA: Phillip Morris
Office of Management and Budget: Bill Gates
Office of National Drug Control Policy: Ron O'Neal
U.S. Trade Rep.: Christopher Walken
Chief of Staff: Collin Farrel
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KevinTheOmnivore KevinTheOmnivore is offline
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Old Mar 20th, 2004, 04:56 PM       
I would count Walken as serious for any position.....
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Perndog Perndog is offline
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Old Mar 20th, 2004, 06:08 PM        Re: You be the president-- choose your cabinet
Department of Commerce: OAO
Department of Education: Max Burbank
Department of Defense: Jeanette
Department of Justice: Dr. Boogie
Department of Veteran Affairs: Vince, ex-submariner
Department of Energy: Pee Wee Herman
Office of National Drug Control Policy: kahljorn
Department of Homeland Security: BAPE

Press Secretary: Misinformation Man
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KevinTheOmnivore KevinTheOmnivore is offline
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Old Mar 20th, 2004, 07:15 PM       
Jesus, if you guys are gonna take the time to be cute you could at least make them funny....
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KevinTheOmnivore KevinTheOmnivore is offline
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Old Mar 20th, 2004, 08:27 PM       
Well I can hit some of these now.....


Vice President: Rep. Harold Ford (D-TN)

- He's the head of the Blue Dog contingent in the House, he's young and popular on both sides. He'd disagree with me on policy, but that's why I'd have him be my VP hood ornament. He'd secure me some southern votes, too.

Department of Commerce: Ralph Nader
Department of Defense: John McCain
Department of Agriculture: Jim Hightower
Department of Justice: Eliot Spitzer
Department of Labor: Dick Gephardt
Department of State: Carol Moseley-Braun
Department of Veteran Affairs: Max Cleland
EPA: Jason West (G- NY)
Office of Management and Budget: Rep. Lloyd Doggett (D-TX)


Office of National Drug Control Policy: Gary Johnson (R- NM)

- http://www.motherjones.com/news/spec...nvestment.html

Here is why Johnson would be perfect for this. He's a Republican who is true to the original values of his party. He's tough on drug dealers and sympathetic towards drug addicts. He recognizes that this is a social problem, not a criminal one.

U.S. Trade Rep.: Joseph Stiglitz
Chief of Staff: Dan Johnson-Weinberger

Sub-cabinet:

Natl. Security Advisor: Ret. Gen. Wesley Clarke
Press Secretary: Aaron McGruder

- Yes, the guy who does the Boondocks comic strip. I've seen him speak a few times. He is intelligent, a good speaker when it comes to Q&A reaction, and has charisma. He'd be a great mouthpiece for an administration.
CIA Director: Scott Ritter
Senior Advisor: Joe Trippi
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Miss Modular Miss Modular is offline
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Old Mar 20th, 2004, 11:15 PM       
Vice President: George Clinton
Department of Agriculture: Dave Chappelle
Department of Commerce: Ralph Nader
Department of Defense: James Brown
Department of Education: Bootsy Collins
Department of Energy: Lady Miss Kier (of Deee-lite)
Department of Health & Human Services: Ol' Dirty Bastard
Department of Homeland Security: Wesley Snipes
Department of HUD: Paul Newman
Department of the Interior: Peter Fonda
Department of Justice: Judge Wapner
Department of Labor: Barbara Ehrenrich
Department of State: Hunter S. Thompson
Department of Transportation: Kathleen Hanna
Department of the Treasury: Oprah Winfrey
Department of Veteran Affairs: R. Lee Ermey
EPA: Julia "Butterfly" Hill
Office of Management and Budget: Milton from Office Space
Office of National Drug Control Policy: Jim Breuer
U.S. Trade Rep.: George Carlin
Chief of Staff: Chris Rock
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Bennett Bennett is offline
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Old Mar 21st, 2004, 02:10 PM       
are you telling me that Lavar Burton for Department of Labor is not serious?
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AChimp AChimp is offline
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Old Mar 21st, 2004, 02:16 PM       
Just the Department of Labour? I think Levar could run the entire country.
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Old Mar 21st, 2004, 02:17 PM       


becauseiusedthemostobviousjokeandIappolog izeinadvance
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glowbelly glowbelly is offline
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Old Mar 21st, 2004, 05:29 PM       
vp: john mccain.

that is all.
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MEATMAN MEATMAN is offline
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Old Mar 21st, 2004, 06:25 PM       
Vice President: Mr. Mockery
Everything else: Foamy (rabid squirrel from "Neurotically Yours")

Here (start at lower-right corner and work your way to the upper-left corner)

The rest not shown there are here.
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Jeanette X Jeanette X is offline
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Old Mar 22nd, 2004, 01:14 AM        Re: You be the president-- choose your cabinet
Quote:
Originally Posted by Perndog
Department of Defense: Jeanette
Frankly, I'm suprised you chose me for the defense rather than the EPA.

And please forgive my ignorance, but could someone tell me what HUD stands for?
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Anonymous Anonymous is offline
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Old Mar 22nd, 2004, 11:19 AM       
Heads-Up Display.
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Phil the anorak Phil the anorak is offline
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Old Mar 22nd, 2004, 04:18 PM       
I'll make no apologies for being a bit cynical here and I'd also add that a few names will be associated with the band Marillion
Vice President: Me, I can't be president as I'm not american so the president will be Ian Mosley who has or had US citizenship I think.
Department of Agriculture: Farmer Giles
Department of Commerce: Lucy Jordache, (Marillion manager)
Department of Defense: Reverend Jesse Jackson
Department of Education: Miss Ballbreaker from Porkies
Department of Energy: Superman, he has lots of it
Department of Health & Human Services: Diana Ross, should be good for the anti-drink lobby
Department of Homeland Security: The little pig that built his house from bricks unlike the other 2
Department of HUD: Paul Newman??? What's HUD?
Department of the Interior: Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen (interior designer from the UK)
Department of Justice: Judge Jim Garrison
Department of Labor: Madonna
Department of State: Phileas Fogg
Department of Transportation: Burt Reynolds, (in Smokey and the bandit role)
Department of the Treasury: Wile Y Coyote. I just admire how he affords all those devices to catch the roadrunner without seeming to do any work to pay for them.
Department of Veteran Affairs: Errol Flynn
EPA: ???
Office of Management and Budget: Erik Nielsen, (the commerce king of Marilion)
Office of National Drug Control Policy: Pablo Escobar
U.S. Trade Rep.: Eddie Murphy, he could talk anyone into anything.
Chief of Staff: Barbara Tripp

Sub-cabinet:

Natl. Security Advisor: Oliver North
Press Secretary: Monica Lewinsky
CIA Director: Jack Ryan
FBI Director: Robert de Niro, (should be good for sorting out the mafia)
Senior Advisor: Richard Nixon
Federal Reserve Board:
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The One and Only... The One and Only... is offline
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Old Mar 22nd, 2004, 08:05 PM       
Who in their right mind would appoint Nadar to the CoC?
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Zhukov Zhukov is offline
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Old Mar 22nd, 2004, 08:52 PM       
Isn't Nixon dead?
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KevinTheOmnivore KevinTheOmnivore is offline
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Old Mar 22nd, 2004, 08:57 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by The One and Only...
Who in their right mind would appoint Nadar to the CoC?
It's always about the penis with you, isn't it???

Edit: But to provide you with a serious answer, the Department of Commerce and Labor was created to monitor the inter-state activities between corporations. It was only later that this role expanded as a department bent on stimulating economic growth in various sectors.

Despite living a fairly humble life, no car, maybe 3 suits to his name, and a little DC apartment, Nader is in fact a millionare in stock value. He's a shrewd investor, a responsible investor, and understands market trends well enough to make millions in investments.

Secondly, you'd be hard pressed to find a man who knows more about the behavior of corporations and corporate law (this was, after all, his initial trade in life). The man has dedicated his life to consumer protection, to expanding the buying power of the average American. He is truly the most civic-minded person I know of.
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