Jul 19th, 2010, 10:50 PM
There's plenty of story threads, so let's get a puke one going.
A time not too long ago, I decided it was time to get nice and hammered with some buddies at a party. Now, see, I'm dumbass sometimes when I drink, and have too much too fast. My buddy said to "pre-game". At the time I didn't really care what it was, I was just ready to drink for once.
I'm not really a drinker at all. I don't know what got into me that night. We had a few shots, I more than he, and went to the party.
By this time, I am drunk. Not really wasted, but with about 4 shots in me I was feeling pretty good. I had a few shitty mixed drinks made of grape kool-aid and some smirnoff. Ick. It was after probably the 3rd or 4th one in an hour, when things are going to start going downhill. And fast.
I decided to play beerpong with the nasty shit. Then, my friends won't let me play because I am too wasted and failing hardcore at this new game I've been introduced to. I always watched, so I knew the rules, I just played for the first time that night.
Anyway, I drink when people fuck up, I drink when people sink a cup. Soon, I no longer want this fruity cocktail bullshit. "Whatever it is, I don't like it!" I yell to my buddy who's giving me the free drinks, the same one I had pre-gamed with. So I begin having beers. Here's where things get blurry.
The only thing I remember is going outside of the garage I was partying in to have a cigarette. The 13-15 drinks (shots, mixed shit, and godawful fucking natty ice) begin to make me feel a bit sick, just the spins I say to myself.
I get a call, and talk to this girl I knew who wanted to come to the party. No ride, everyone's drunk so she's left out. We talk awhile, when I realize I can't fucking talk on the phone like this and quickly let her go. I go inside and head to my friends room to pass out.
I remember sitting on his couch, drunk as fuck for I don't know how long. Soon, a good friend who was being shipped off to the Navy soon came in and flicked the lights on and off fucking with me. I don't even care at this point.
Soon, he realizes I'm sick and tries to "make me feel better" by giving me some Bud Select "None of that nasty natty shit!" He says.
"No dude, for real. Anymore alcohol and I'll puke" I slurred to him.
"Don't be a pussy!" He says and hands it to me.
In my stupor I grab the bottle and down a quarter of it. He is about to leave when he turns around and says "If you have to puke use this bowl" and he hands me this big ass bowl used for popcorn.
Right before it reaches my hand, I feel the purple demons inside of me screaming to be let out. I spew, right into the bowl.
About a gallon of thin, liquidy, puprley, alcoholic puke cpews out in an instant into this giant ass bowl. I literally fill the bitch so there was about 1 1/2"- 2" of it not in puke. This huge ass bowl that can be used to hold about 2 or three bags of microwave bags of popcorn, and I nearly topped it off.
My buddy was not in the awe I expected him to be in "I just saved that fucking couch man." I nod to him drunkenly.
I awaken the next morning thinking "I'm not hung-over! I'm okay!"
I sit up, head feels like shit. Stomach's a churnin'. Shit man, I was wrong I think to myself.
I puked in the toliet at my buddy's house. It was green. Yum. Later in the day, the putcher of purple kool-aid rests on the counter. It reminded me of my vomit but I was so deydrated I downed it. I got in my friends car to leave with the pitcher, opened it as we backed out, and filled it half-with thin liquidy, purpley fucking puke again. His dad flags him down in the driveway and talks to him, me puking my ass off behind his son.
I puked in that pitcher all the way down the street to my house.
I puked again after a shower, and slept all day afterward.
This was the first and only time I've puked from alcohol. I smoked a few bowls, and that could have added to it. But fuck, I haven't puked or drank like that since.