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Pram Maven · #1

Hey Luke-Before you beg Chojin to lock this thread, (OMG! ROFFLEOS) you should check out these links
to your past; they're very telling!

http://www.i-mockery.net/viewtopic.p...r=asc&start=25

You were hated back then, weren't ya!

http://novirginsallowed.com/saddadce...m/035-039.html

BANNED!

http://forums.dvdfile.com/showthread.php?t=11325

BANNED AGAIN!

That is one hell of a resume you got there.

And this link has "POST WHORE" written all over you!

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&l...=Jixby+Philips

Spoiled fucking rich kid with too much time on his Rolex.

All you've got on me, is this:
http://www.brickfilms.com/phpBB2/sea...49eb52a2c7c2c3

Because, well, I am not stupid enough to use the same USERID in every fucking message board I join.

Have fun.

PS: I don't care if I'm funny. You should look up the definition of "mock".
Nowhere therein, does it say that it has to be funny. Derision is not
always a photoshopped picture of a cowboy hat with your enemy's name on it and a dildo in the box it came in,
featuring instructions on how to unclog their ears with it at the maximum speed setting.

Before I go, OJB is WAY funnier than you look.

Oh, and stop stalking Emma.

Commence to flaming, Your Ass-ship.

Matt Harty · #2

IRONY OVERLOAD

Pram Maven · #3

'Splain, Lucy!

MetalMilitia · #4

haha, nose, you are just about the worst person since 'Wino'.
Jixby is a funny guy. I know this, and just about everyone else knows this, but because you are new and a complete shit you have spent hours trying to dig up dirt on Internets about him in some vain attempt to make yourself seem like a somewhat less of horible person than you are now.

Is this your big secret plan to get back at all those who have insulted you in the past?
Because quite frankly it's rubbish.

Emu · #5

You are such a gigantic retard that I'm finding it hard to believe that you have the mental capacity to understand any joke beyond the complexity of a long, wet fart.

Chojin · #6

Jixby was being ironic, you twat. Just like I am 90% of the time i talk to you.

GADZOOKS · #7

Nose, do you think Jixby was embarrased when he put that project mayham thread ON HIS FUCKING WEBSITE.

Jixby Phillips · #8

are you upset becuase I didn't respond to this private message:

Quote:

Originally Posted by nose

By the way, I think we actually should have a song contest in the Mock Wars. It could be fun.

My headphones broke, so I might be out of the running, but I would like to see what everyone else comes up with.

PS: Shhhh, this is top secret. I'm not pretentious. In fact, I make music about how much I hate that shit. I hate myspace. I MOCK myspace on myspace*. The current rock music industry penis monster eats a top hat full of battery acid too. From Rayovacs. They make it so hot.

I drew a picture of this.

sincerely,

*

Well jeepers nose I'm sorry, but I don't like you very much. I just don't care for you. I'm sure you would be appreciated elsewhere. This is kinda like how I wasn't appreciated at DVDfile, because they were douchebags and I wasn't, except thats reversed here. But all the audio help and wacky MS Paint art in the world isn't going to change the fact that I don't like you. I know it hurts to hear that coming from your hero.

If you dug a little further you'd see my signature used to keep a tally (and link to!) every message board that ever banned me. So stop pretending like I should be embrassed or that I have something to hide. I have the same name everywhere I post because I want people to know who I am. Such an insecure little drip like you wouldn't understand that.

Jixby Phillips · #9

Quote:

Oh, and stop stalking Emma.

what the fuck does this even mean? Please give me a link, I'm interested to see which joke of mine you didn't understand that lead you to make this statement.

Dole · #10

He PMd me lots of irritating, non-sensical crap also. Its just so depressing that someone can feel the need for validation from a message board of people he didn't know existed a few weeks ago, and would spend that much time/thought over it, searching through old threads etc.

There is something that needs to be said to people like that, and I think its 'get some life!' or something like that.

Pram Maven · #11

Hahhahaha!!!

That's ok, I can take a joke, and I was stupid for humping old threads back to life. For that, I apologize. But I'm really only about as horrible as a saline abortionist. Ok, more so... Because I would want also want to take pictures of the corpse, after dressing it up in baby clothes, and then write bad seventh grade poetry for my "sweet little dead son"/thing-monster, after cuddling its cold, dead flesh to my bosom until parts of it have fallen off (the full term fetus, not my bosom). HAHA! I MADE A REFERENCE TO BOOBS in a thread about Jixby Philips, who has to be the biggest TIT I've yet to not meet! *ROFLLOLOMATTDAMON*

From now on, I will follow the rules *holding up the oath hand I also use to masturbate with* and I will BEAT YOUR ASS LEGALLY! (also with the hand I uset to masturbate with)
/so to speak.

PS! I don't use real BB tags! OMFG!

sadie · #12

*honk honk*

Pram Maven · #13

Who's there?

Misdemonar · #14

Suck.

Pram Maven · #15

No thanks, I'm not gay.

For that, you have your choice of (f)Emu(r) and Ret(h)ro Kat.

Misdemonar · #16

That's not funny

. Apoligize now.

Pram Maven · #17

Never! Plus a few years!

Matt Harty · #18

There's really no coming back from this nose, quit while you're ahead.

Pram Maven · #19

STFU, bling face.

If I wanted your opinion, I would hold you hostage for it.

As for Jixbitch...

__________________
Hey Jixby>

Shouldn't your name be JINXBY? Because banishment from forums on EZboard
follows you everwhere a Google search for your name
takes me. Your chin looks like a cross between a brillo pad and CANCER.
You also have the deadest eyes I've ever seen, and I was going to be a TAXIDERMIST.

I'm sorry that your parents are filthy rich and yet they still have to
put up with your DIGITAL PHOTO WHORING ASS pouring ketchup into an envelope
and addressing it to a CARTOON.

What you should really be pouring into that envelope is your SNOT AND TEARS, then you should address it to yourself as a reminder that YOU'VE NEVER BEEN FUNNY.
Go play Battleship with your ego-bating hand in a blender, and turn it on--

YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY "WIN", THIS TIME.

Jixby Phillips · #20

okay nose

Jixby Phillips · #21

Quote:

Originally Posted by nose

Hey Luke-Before you beg Chojin to lock this thread, (OMG! ROFFLEOS) you should check out these links
to your past; they're very telling!

http://www.i-mockery.net/viewtopic.p...r=asc&start=25

You were hated back then, weren't ya!

Dear Nose,

I appologize for the confusion, but I was indeed being ironic. The topic was intentionally lame, and my reaction to things going awry was intentionally lame also. If you took the time to know me (this is not an invitation) you'd probably know that. For what its worth, I wasn't hated back then. I was quite liked before these forums moved from ezboard, in fact. Again, I say for what its worth. I'm not saying that that is some kind of huge accomplishment or anything, I'm simply letting you know that you've been mistaken. Though there are plenty of people here who probably don't like me, but this doesn't bother me. Again, I hope you forgive me for the miscommunication, Maybe next time I will put that one emoticon with the tongue sticking out next to my ironic statments?? I think this is the one

Quote:

http://novirginsallowed.com/saddadce...m/035-039.html

BANNED!

Dear Nose,

I appologize for the confusion, but at the time this happened I was busy reveling in the irony that a message board that promoted chaos (ala Fight Club) couldn't handle it when somebody came in and acted intentionally retarded, thus causing chaos. But I am not embrassed, in fact, there's a very easy way to tell that I am not embrassed by this!

http://novirginsallowed.com/saddadce...ectmayhem.html

You see, you actually linked to a copy of that thread that I actually saved and uploaded to my own website (Novirginsallowed.com). I did this to show it off, I was actually proud of it at the time! This might be hard to beleive, but there was a time when *not* being accepted by stupid pretentious fans of a shitty movie was actually considered a GOOD thing! This time is known as ALL THE TIME. So I'm sorry if I made it appear that something embrassing had happened to me. Maybe I should put a disclaimer at the top of each thread that says "WARNING: I AM PROUD OF THIS AND SOMEWHAT PLEASED WITH MYSELF THAT I DID THIS," but haha, talk about being even more embrassing.

Quote:

http://forums.dvdfile.com/showthread.php?t=11325

BANNED AGAIN!

Dear Nose,

Hey now, you didn't even post to the threads that showed me why I got banned! Check it out:

http://forums.dvdfile.com/showthread.php?t=13537

notice only one of my posts didn't get edited out. I basically made lots of ridiculous insults, and they were taken completely seriously. Again, I don't like posting on boards where everyone takes everything too seriously.

There was also this:

http://forums.dvdfile.com/showthread.php?t=13465

I made a crack at that guy with the unreasonably huge DVD collection that he was probably still going to fucking buy Slackers even though its a shitty movie. I was completley right. Also Notice Solid Snake Ass (aka Royal Tenenbaum here) totally sell me out and suck up to the dope with the Aaron Carter DVDs in his 3000+ DVD collection. He got banned too, maybe you should PM him and make fun of HIM for something that happened on the internet HALF A FUCKING DECADE ago!

Quote:

That is one hell of a resume you got there.

And this link has "POST WHORE" written all over you!

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&l...=Jixby+Philips

Dear Nose

I appologize for if I have rubbed you the wrong way. I don't use words like Post Whore, I don't care for them, so forgive me if I don't know exactly what you mean. I'm guessing that a Post Whore is somebody who is quick to post things that aren't thought out and/or is more concerned with wanting to make their precence known. This type of person is indeed awful, I agree with you!! But I am not one of them! For example, There have been many occasions where I would spend a very good ammount of time making a post, which I would eventually decide I'm unhappy with. despide having two or more paragraphs, I would end up deleting the entire thing, and NOT posting it. Does this sound like the behavior of a post whore? If you need proof, check out these threads:

http://www.i-mockery.net/viewtopic.php?t=20962

I spent over an hour on this reply that I DIDN'T post!

http://www.i-mockery.net/viewtopic.php?t=12479

I aggonized over this reply for a good 45 minutes before I threw in the towel.

http://www.i-mockery.net/viewtopic.php?t=5720

Even after running spell check, I just plain felt this reply wasn't up to snuff.

So again, I appologize for how you interpreted my behavior. I hope one day you interpret that I have cleaned up my act.

Quote:

Spoiled fucking rich kid with too much time on his Rolex.

Dear Nose,

It is with a heavy heart that I appologize for making you think that I have a rolex or that I am spoiled or rich or fucking or a kid. Just out of curiosity, could you please elaborate on what it was that made you come to this conclusion that I was a spoiled fucking rich kid? I would like to know so that I can appoligize in a more detailed manner. But in the meantime I guess I can start by asking the movie theater I work for to cut my pay back to minimum wage, and to ask my mom to stop paying for electricity.

Quote:

All you've got on me, is this:
http://www.brickfilms.com/phpBB2/sea...49eb52a2c7c2c3

I'm sorry, who is this prog shooter guy? What does he have to do with you? speak up at once!

Quote:

Because, well, I am not stupid enough to use the same USERID in every fucking message board I join.

Oh! I see. I appologize if my posts were easy to find when you googled my name. Perhaps I should stop being so comfortable with myself and be more like you? Maybe I should wear my insecurities on my sleeve by randomly "mocking" people based on things that I've made up so I can assert my place as a master mocksmith on a fucking message board. Or, perhaps you could search for other things, I suggest "cool tips" and "free jokes"

Quote:

Have fun.

PS: I don't care if I'm funny. You should look up the definition of "mock".
Nowhere therein, does it say that it has to be funny. Derision is not
always a photoshopped picture of a cowboy hat with your enemy's name on it and a dildo in the box it came in,
featuring instructions on how to unclog their ears with it at the maximum speed setting.

Dear Nose,

Thanks, I'll take your word for it. I appolgize for something, I don't know.

Quote:

Before I go, OJB is WAY funnier than you look.

I appolgize for saying this, but maybe you should marry him

Quote:

Oh, and stop stalking Emma.

Only if you stop stalking me. I appologize

Quote:

I appolgize for not laughing at a nerd who quotes the simpsons

Quote:

Commence to flaming, Your Ass-ship.

I appolgize for your peice of shit internet faggot words, you vuglarnoun-regularnoun.

Jixby Phillips · #22

Quote:

Originally Posted by nose

STFU, bling face.

If I wanted your opinion, I would hold you hostage for it.

As for Jixbitch...

__________________
Hey Jixby>

Shouldn't your name be JINXBY? Because banishment from forums on EZboard
follows you everwhere a Google search for your name
takes me. Your chin looks like a cross between a brillo pad and CANCER.
You also have the deadest eyes I've ever seen, and I was going to be a TAXIDERMIST.

I'm sorry that your parents are filthy rich and yet they still have to
put up with your DIGITAL PHOTO WHORING ASS pouring ketchup into an envelope
and addressing it to a CARTOON.

What you should really be pouring into that envelope is your SNOT AND TEARS, then you should address it to yourself as a reminder that YOU'VE NEVER BEEN FUNNY.
Go play Battleship with your ego-bating hand in a blender, and turn it on--

YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY "WIN", THIS TIME.

Yeah as if I'm going to talk to a guy with a bad kids drawing as an avatar

GADZOOKS · #23

I like how all of Nose's insult are just basic retellings of something Jixby purposly did on the internet.

HEY JIXBY, WHY DON'T YOU GO MAKE A RADIO SHOW OR SOMETHING

AFTER DOING SOME REASERCH YOU MADE A WEBSITE CALLED F*CK YOU B*TCH! HOW VERY TELLING!