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Guitar Woman · #1

Why the fuck did I buy this game!

All this time I was listening to praise for it and was all, OH MAN, I SHOULD TOTALLY GET THIS GAME IT SOUNDS REALLY GREAT, but I never got around to it. Until about a week ago when I picked it up in some Game of the Year edition pack that included both expansions. It sounded like a really good deal!

I started out and chose the least-ugly imperial face I could find, then decided on being a Theif because I am a jerk who likes taking people's stuff. After getting a bunch of PHAT LOOT by trading my shit clothes for light armor and stealing what that guy at the shop had on the table, I decided to go out adventuring!

After a while I came across an elderly man who dropped dead before my very eyes with no apparent cause, which was a ridiculous invitation for me to take his stuff. He had a short sword that dealt lightning damage with every hit, which I thought was pretty fucking awesome.

Then I get to this little crap town being harassed by some horned goblin thing. I didn't care much about the common folk's wellbeing, so I decided to just pass through and pay them no mind.

Then the little fag started following me. I tried to fend him off with my kickass new blade, but for whatever reason none of my attacks seem to register. I guess this means I'm "missing," although I am pretty sure I am really close to all my enemies and dead center with the crosshairs before I try and attack.

So I run away for a while looking for a place to escape to, and halfway through doing that I turn and try to fight again. Apparently one of the villagers didn't like this so he got out his sword and also called a guard over, and together they promptly raped me to pieces. I was then given the option of returning the silver short sword I stole earlier (and why wouldn't I, what with my new magical blade!), so I went to jail like a good boy and when I got out it started me with ZERO HEALTH and I died on the fucking spot.

Also the game is slow as fuck and looks like absolute dick. I think this might be the second worst game I've ever been fooled into playing!

Girl Drink Drunk · #2

Welcome to the year, 2002, in gaming.

Fathom Zero · #3

You've been spoiled by Oblivion.

I bought Morrowind four times because I loved it so much.

HickMan · #4

No. Morrowind is one of the worst game's I've ever played. Cliffracers

Chojin · #5

Morrowind was fun for its time, but it really didn't age well :<

Guitar Woman · #6

So I downloaded a bunch of mods last night to make it not horrible, and I don't think they took effect at all.

Combat is sort of different, but I can't really tell, it says I have a manual block button but whenever I hold it down in combat I still get my ass handed to me, and I got one of those "better character model" upgrades, but everything looks exactly the same!

And yes, cliff racers. I met one when I was trying to get to Balmora and I tried to BUNNY HOP FOR MY LIFE but I was dead like 15 seconds later.

Fathom Zero · #7

How'd you die from a Cliff Racer?

Also, it's different from Oblivion because your skills and magic and equipment snowball as you go and you get better as time goes on.

Guitar Woman · #8

It hit me until I ran out of health?

Unless those Pterodactyl things aren't what Cliff Racers are, in which case 4chan is a fucking liar.

Also I couldn't see what it was called because I was RUNNING FOR DEAR LIFE.

Fathom Zero · #9

You really suck, then. They're really only there to annoy you. Invest in some fireballs or throwing knives.

Guitar Woman · #10

I bought some Shuriken at a shop, and to my SHOCK AND AMAZEMENT they have about a 1 in 20 hit ratio like my sword attacks.

Fathom Zero · #11

Well, I can definitely see why that would piss people off.

It's all based on numbers. You need a higher skill level in Marksman and Long and Short Blades. Go dungeon crawling or steal things, sell the stuff, and get some skill points from the fighter's guild.

Ninjavenom · #12

Fuck you haters, Morrowind is STILL godlike in its degree of supremacy over most other RPGs. The story alone is reason enough to keep playing it.

Fathom Zero · #13

I never finished all of the Bloodmoon quests, not the trading company quests nor the one with the crashed flying machine and the guy that spoke gibberish.

Guitar Woman · #14

So I met this Dark Elf farmer who I thought looked like a dick, so I went into his house and stole a bunch of his shit and slept in his bed.

I left and stole a lantern from his stoop to light my way, and he apparently took so much offense to this he decided to chase me across 2 small mountain ranges and through a plantation town. I thought I could get away by jumping in the ocean, but he followed me and started UNDERWATER PUNCHING me.

I finally managed to kill him back on the shore, which I celebrated by stripping him naked and not disposing of his corpse. Then I went to rest under a giant tree and some fag killed me in my sleep.

Chojin · #15

Ninja, I have a lot of fond memories of morrowind myself, but I just re-bought the GOTY edition for PC and loaded it up with 'pretty pretty' mods and the game's still so terrible in its execution that it's silly. Combat is performed so awkwardly (especially in the beginning when you can't hit anything even though your sword is clearly WHOOSHING right through it) as to make it unbearable for modern gamers ;<

Bethesda is good at creating a game world, but it seems like their talents end there. Their engines are routinely enormous pieces of shit (especially Oblivion, which is the only game that makes my computer chug), filled to the brim with bugs, and their 3d models are so terrible that the community has to release patches to 'fix' them and every other graphical object in their games promptly after release. I can't even really stand to play oblivion without 'better bodies', 'open cities', 'natural weather', and 'oscuro's oblivion overhaul' on, at LEAST. And there's at least three times as many mods required for Morrowind to be playable.

Supafly345 · #16

The story alone isn't enough to keep ANY game awesome. If it is, you should check to see if you have a vagina.

But it is a part of game history for setting new standards, despite being horrible to play now. And for someone who's never played it before, having a game that starts you out as helpless as a crippled baby isn't something to keep your interest today.

And OMG open cities? I want that mod. =(

Guitar Woman · #17

I'm glad I'm not the only one who had problems running an Elder Scrolls game. I did think it kind of wierd that my PC can pull off Half Life 2 but is utterly incapable of running Morrowind smoothly at 640x480 in a window.

And yes, I've noticed all the above problems and retardedness too. It's like Bethesda knows that no matter how shitty their games are, people will buy them anyway and just fix all the problems they left in for them. Which is actually a brilliant money saver. Crafty bastards!

Supafly345 · #18

I don't think bethesda had reached what I call "square-enix sales" until after morrowind.

I'm pretty sure that out of all the MAJOR game manufacturers out there, bethesda is the least money grubbing.

Guitar Woman · #19

So I leveled up my marksman skill and stole some poison shurikens from the cellar of a tavern and for the first third of a dungeon I found outside some little outpost town I was an UNSTOPPABLE NINJA. Despite the 30-second periods of standing still unpredictably to load some stuff that it didn't already make me wait for, I was starting to enjoy it.

However, I finally got my Underdogs bootleg of System Shock 2 working last night, and have since stopped giving a tin fuck about this game. So long, Morrowind!

Emu · #20

SS2 got rly rly hard for me toward the end, but I think that's because I focused entirely on psionics.

It may also be because I'm playing on a laptop touchpad, idk

Guitar Woman · #21

I see Psi powers as a waste of modules. Hack and Research are by far the most useful skills so far, so I'm dumping all my stuff into that with occasional weapon and attribute upgrades.

I'm around the cargo bay area now, and at this point it's way more intense than it is scary.

Also the atmosphere is ruined by my fucking idiot brother and sister getting into whiney fisticuffs over Mario party.

I'm still having fun, though!

Guitar Woman · #22

God, I hate the HULKING TURRET BOTS that you continually have to take down in this game. It shoots fireballs which makes it annoying like the goddamned monkeys, but it's also got a ridiculously high armor setting that means it takes around 9 shots of Armor Piercing pistol rounds to kill the motherfucker, and I ran out of those a while ago.

Cameras and turrets are also a problem, and although I'm getting used to scanning a room for the former the inconsistancy of their placement catches me off guard EVERY TIME. Turrets are fucking murderous because the instant I see one and go HOLY FUCK RUN it opens up and gets rid of half of my health, and takes almost as long to kill as the giant yellow bastards. I keep disabling security to prevent this, but it's not stopping the robots at all.

Anyone wanna play co-op :<