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  #126  
Guitar Woman Guitar Woman is offline
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Old Oct 24th, 2007, 09:43 PM       
Double Dash was terrible :<
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  #127  
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Old Oct 24th, 2007, 09:47 PM       
It wasn't terrible. I mean it delivered basically the same thing the previous two did -- three difficulties, sixteen tracks and mirror mode. It suffers from Melee-itis and all the characters are clones of eachother. And they re-used a lot of the music. And it's impossible to get a boost in two-player co-op. And powersliding is impossible. And the battle minigames are awful.

Okay yeah maybe it is.
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  #128  
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Old Oct 24th, 2007, 09:50 PM       
I remember when I was younger and I had friends, and we could just play the Battle mode on 64 for hours and hours.

We didn't even fight directly, we just drove around on Block Fortress shooting shells and bananas into the bottom level and trying to knock each other off :<
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  #129  
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Old Oct 24th, 2007, 09:51 PM       
And can someone explain to me why fat fucks Wario and Bowser drive faster than Toad and Koopa Troopa?
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  #130  
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Old Oct 24th, 2007, 09:52 PM       
And it's also a crime if, when taking DD's shit factor into consideration, you don't mention Baby Park, the most horrible and retardedly unoriginal track in the history of Mario Kart. Why the fuck they ported it to DS and made it playable online is completely beyond me, and every time I'm playing and some fag picks it I DISCONNECT IMMEDIATELY.
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  #131  
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Old Oct 24th, 2007, 09:54 PM       
Also, heavy characters have a high top speed and low acceleration rate, which means that if you don't drive in a criss cross pattern or hit anything then you can GO LIKE HELL.

Most of the time this is impossible, though.
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  #132  
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Old Oct 24th, 2007, 09:55 PM       
I was going to mention Baby Park but I thought I had disparaged it enough.

I miss Crash Team Racing.
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  #133  
Chojin Chojin is offline
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Old Oct 25th, 2007, 12:38 AM       
I love double dash ;< It's way better than the piece of shit that was kart 64.

Also, Mario Strikers Charged is a fucking amazing game, and if you go LOL MARIO SOCCER YEAH OK without even playing it, then you have no right to complain about people going LOL SHOOTERS YEAH OK about your 360/PS3/3DO/Neo-Geo.
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  #134  
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Old Oct 25th, 2007, 12:49 AM       
Chojin, I generally respect your opinion in these matters, but I'd like you to give me a detailed explanation as to why you hate MK64 so I will have points to base my logic on when I tell you to go fuck yourself.

Ok? :<
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  #135  
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Old Oct 25th, 2007, 12:53 AM       
Sure -
  • it's slow
  • the framerate is crappy
  • at least two of the stages are designed in such a way that if you hit someone with an item right before they make a jump, they have to repeat the entire lap
  • introduced blue shells, which were the worst idea ever
  • computer will literally teleport to keep up with you if you're doing too well
  • n64 analog control sucks
  • largely uninteresting courses
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  #136  
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Old Oct 25th, 2007, 12:54 AM       
Blue Shells are even worse in Double Dash. You only get them if you're in last place, and the only person they help is the person in second place, or third if it's a close race.
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  #137  
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Old Oct 25th, 2007, 01:00 AM       
They work the same way in the 64, GBA, GC, and DS versions, but they showed up in the N64 version first is all I was saying.
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  #138  
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Old Oct 25th, 2007, 01:02 AM       
No, the 64 one had some use, because it would swerve to hit all of the players ahead of you, but in DD it just flies over everybody, gets to first place incredibly fast (so much so that you can't keep up with it) and knocks out the person in first. But by that time it's so far gone that you can't possibly make any gain on it unless you saved and threw it when you were in second place, in which case you would probably nuke yourself in the explosion.
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  #139  
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Old Oct 25th, 2007, 01:05 AM       
OK MY REBUTTAL

Quote:
it's slow
It's a 3D game from 1996, it was fucking when it came out. Also, stop playing on 50cc, you fucking pussy.

Quote:
the framerate is crappy
Are you emulating this or something? I got out my copy to play before I typed this, the framerate is fine.

Quote:
at least two of the stages are designed in such a way that if you hit someone with an item right before they make a jump, they have to repeat the entire lap
That's half the fucking fun :<

Quote:
introduced blue shells, which were the worst idea ever
Yes, but you actually had time to slow down so it avoided you and hit the fag you were doing VICIOUS BATTLE with, giving you the edge, unlike the faggoty flying ones which only give you the option of having it hit the people in second and mabye third, too.

Quote:
computer will literally teleport to keep up with you if you're doing too well
I never saw this, and still don't notice it after playing a few courses just now. I might just suck horribly, but I say this is crap because I've gotten so far ahead that I overlapped a bunch guys and nobody rose to challenge me ever.

Quote:
n64 analog control sucks
Ok you are right about this one :<

Quote:
largely uninteresting courses
This game contains my favorite mario kart courses ever :< Banshee Boardwalk, Yoshi's Valley, and Rainbow road all kick substantial ass, among others.

SO THERE

I admit that it's not nearly as good as I remember it being, but it's still way better than that pile of shit Double Dash.
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  #140  
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Old Oct 25th, 2007, 01:06 AM       
CHOJIN WILL YOU JUST GIVE ME BACK MY EDIT BUTTON SO I WON'T MAKE SO MANY TYPOS
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  #141  
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Old Oct 25th, 2007, 01:15 AM       
Also, I don't see any teleporting, per se, but the characters in second and third are always the same for the 4 races in a Prix, and they always seem to MAGICALLY speed up even if you've completely devastated them.

Of course, this happens in every other Mario Kart, too. :<
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  #142  
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Old Oct 25th, 2007, 01:16 AM       
Every Kart game. Cortex always wins in CTR.
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  #143  
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Old Oct 25th, 2007, 01:19 AM       
I remember on the desert level I'd always try going through the train tunnel because I was convinced I could make it a shortcut, but the train raped me EVERY TIME and when it didn't I came out and was in like 8th place
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  #144  
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Old Oct 25th, 2007, 01:22 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guitar Woman View Post
OK MY REBUTTAL

It's a 3D game from 1996, it was fucking when it came out. Also, stop playing on 50cc, you fucking pussy.
It's much slower than all of the other Mario Karts, including the GBA and SNES ones.

Quote:
Are you emulating this or something? I got out my copy to play before I typed this, the framerate is fine.
It runs below 30 fps on the target hardware.

Quote:
That's half the fucking fun :<
Killing someone from a race, permanently, in ONE FELL SWOOP, isn't fun at all for that person. It's kinda why lakitu saves you from lava and shit.

Quote:
I never saw this, and still don't notice it after playing a few courses just now. I might just suck horribly, but I say this is crap because I've gotten so far ahead that I overlapped a bunch guys and nobody rose to challenge me ever.
It uh, really isn't. The computer will teleport. All the time. Just watch the player icons on the left running along the track - if you're waiting for a Quake-style slipgate noise accompanied with star trek effects or something, you're missing the point.

Quote:
Ok you are right about this one :<
THE GAME MAY CONTROL TERRIBLE BUT IT IS GR8

Quote:
This game contains my favorite mario kart courses ever :< Banshee Boardwalk, Yoshi's Valley, and Rainbow road all kick substantial ass, among others.
The GC rainbow road is better, and I don't remember those other ones. The ones they sent over to the DS suck. I'm also talking compared to DD here, too, where there's lots of interesting shit going on.

Double Dash is a great game with much better balance, ai, levels, and speed than 64. I really don't see what your problem is!
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  #145  
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Old Oct 25th, 2007, 01:26 AM       
I liked N64's Rainbow Road simply because you could take that awesome shortcut if you jumped off at the very beginning.
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  #146  
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Old Oct 25th, 2007, 01:26 AM       
I like Mario Kart 64 and Double Dash! They're fun games!
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  #147  
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Old Oct 25th, 2007, 01:27 AM       
GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS THREAD THIS IS A FUCKING WARZONE AND WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR FENCESITTERS
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  #148  
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Old Oct 25th, 2007, 01:34 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chojin View Post
It's much slower than all of the other Mario Karts, including the GBA and SNES ones.
Ok, mabye you need to do some heroin to get into the groove of things!

Coincidentally, fuck the SNES and GBA ones.

Quote:
It runs below 30 fps on the target hardware.
Ok, but it isn't CHOPPY, which I can live with!

Quote:
Killing someone from a race, permanently, in ONE FELL SWOOP, isn't fun at all for that person. It's kinda why lakitu saves you from lava and shit.
Fuck that person. If I gave a shit about him in the first place, I wouldn't have dumped his ass into a lake of ice water!

Quote:
It uh, really isn't. The computer will teleport. All the time. Just watch the player icons on the left running along the track - if you're waiting for a Quake-style slipgate noise accompanied with star trek effects or something, you're missing the point.
Again, I still don't see the teleportation. I was probably watching the map so hard I forgot to get way ahead of everyone, but whatever. Mabye you could provide a YouTube video or something.

Quote:
THE GAME MAY CONTROL TERRIBLE BUT IT IS GR8
Double Dash's control is horrible, too, but you seem to think that is a GIFT STRAIGHT FROM OUR LORD AN SAVYUR JEASUS CHRIST.

Quote:
The GC rainbow road is better
Yeah, enjoy your shitty rainbow road music and no chainchomps or awesome neon backgrounds, and drifting off the fucking edge because of the game's horrendous power sliding.

Quote:
Double Dash is a great game with much better balance, ai, levels, and speed than 64. I really don't see what your problem is!
My problem is that Double Dash is TERRIBLE

In fact, thanks to this thread I realize that Mario Kart is crappy in general and only getting worse so I won't waste my money on the Wii version. But hey, more dough for me to buy No More Heroes with!
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  #149  
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Old Oct 25th, 2007, 01:35 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fathom Zero View Post
I like Mario Kart 64 and Double Dash! They're fun games!
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  #150  
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Old Oct 25th, 2007, 01:37 AM       
So, Mario Kart has no games that I like for anything other than nostalgic value except the DS one which I don't like anyway because the online community is full of fucking faggots and it says FUCK ALL and doesn't even include the game's coolest tracks for wifi play.

Fuck this series :[
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