Jun 2nd, 2003, 04:19 PM
Jackie Sucks
The road lay clear ahead of me, and, nervous as i was, I decided it would be a good idea for me to stop, rest, and then continue on down the old dirt road. As I shuffled my feet against the dust, letting it swirl upward and engulph me, I realized that, perhaps, i had made a mistake. My youthful countenance, now waning, left me looking old, tired, and terrified. What lay down that road? Was i afraid of the unknown?
Oh no, my friend, oh no. I knew exactly what lay down that old path, for the only feet that had paved that road in the dust were my own, a million times over. I traveled on though, the glutton for punishment that i am. The sky hung high, refusing to allow the sun to sink into the horizon. I wished for darkness. i begged for darkness. I had no reason to see what I was getting myself into again, I already knew what was going to happen. I already knew i was heading for pain, heading toward hurt, heading toward manipulation, heading toward generally getting fucked over. i was heading toward oblivian, and i knew it.
But alas, the sun refused to abide, and so I trudged on, in the open day, knowing full well the consequences that lay ahead. I went to her, again. What was i thinking? Why did I do it? I was so pathetic, but she was always much more pathetic. At least i knew what to expect, some small tinge of intrigue, mingled with a slight sense of nostalgia, that would fade as soon as she saw someone with an IQ tens times lower than mine.
And that Ogre that she spent her days with, that Ogre! Oh how I loathed the sight of his huge head, his massive hulking slop, his stupid grin. The kid was in Genesis! Genesis, the last step before prison for a guy like him. He was sleaze of the earth, and she went for that kind of thing.
But she was over him because, as was destined to happen, he beat the crap out of her. And so I played it cool, i was the nice guy, i did anything for her, but appearantly she prefered a bit of a tassle. I would never sink that low.
Fuck her, what do I care if she likes guys who give her an inferiority complex, what do i care if he made her buliemic, what do I care if her whole life was about to be wasted with a guy who would rather flip her over, give her a once around, and send her home, aching and hobbling. I'd be damned if i was going to be the one to wait for her, with an ice pack and aspirin.
So there was that on that road, but i still wasn't quite ready to turn back. There was this whole history, a good history, things used to be nice, things used to be so sweet.
But now she's a pot head. I'm not saying she wasn't cute as shit when she was stoned, i'm just saying that she denied it all along, that bitch. "Oh no, I'm not addicted, i don't need it every day" True, true... oh wait, you do need it every day you fucking psycho, you do. So guess what, yeah, you are addicted. have fun with that.
For once in my life I turned around, for once in my life a made a definite decision, and turned the fuck around. I walked away so fast, I never looked back. I hope the dust from the road choked her too.
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