Your weirdest dreams?

[Aimless]

Originally Posted by doopa

Once I dreamed I played a game of chess with God and I won

I had a dream that I was with Satan in a french diner. I kept laughing at him and telling him that Jesus loved him and he just roared at me all pissed off and red.

[ZeldaQueen]

Originally Posted by Aimless

I had a dream that I was with Satan in a french diner. I kept laughing at him and telling him that Jesus loved him and he just roared at me all pissed off and red.

Reminds me a bit about a time I dreamed I met Fred Phelps. I should have known it was a dream, because he actually listened to my viewpoints thoughtfully and respectfully and didn't scream that I was going to hell at all.

Last night, I dreamt I was an unofficial member of Torchwood (Doctor Who spin-off, for those of you not familiar). The dream was partially based off of the "Children of Earth" mini series, were we were trying to save the Earth and for whatever reason, the government didn't want our interference and kept trying to capture us. Also, our headquarters were in a TARDIS.

In the first part of the dream, government agents were trying to break into the TARDIS to steal it so we couldn't escape them. I helped several other Torchwood members push them out while screaming for someone to make the TARDIS jumpt to the past or future or somewhere far away. We got the agents out and the door shut, but the TARDIS wasn't moved. I kept shouting for someone to get us out of there, but then the door was thrown open by Patrick Warburton of all people, who in my dream had some sort of Terminator-like strength and took all of our efforts to shove back out. The scuffle somehow drained the TARDIS of energy so when we finally could travel, we could only go three feet to the left. I looked outside and kept screaming inside for them to try to get us going again before Warburton looked around and saw where we went.

The dream then somehow cut to me being at a carnival where I met the secretary of someone in the government. She was pretty much directly taken from "Children of Earth". She asked me about Torchwood and I complained about the government interference and how we lost the TARDIS. I then wandered the carnival and came to a gold fish scoop game. I discovered that the woman running it was Trinity from The Matrix, only her real name was something like "Jean Gross". We apparently already knew each other and talked for awhile.

Then the dream decided to take a more realistic turn and had me visiting the house of a woman I worked with in a library (while the job is real, the woman was not). Her house was a complete mess, with stuffed animals over virtually every empty surface.

[Kitsa]

My dream last night was that someone (I think the neighbor kid) brought me three "baby snakes" to take care of. At first glance I thought they were corn snakes, but when they were in my hands I realized that they were baby copperheads. The snakes promptly bit the hell out of my hands, and I rushed to the ER. They refused to give me any antivenin because I was pregnant. It was a frustrating dream.

[LordSappington]

My dreams are becoming increasingly retarded.
In my last one, my friend 'Hal' went nuts, shot and killed my friend 'Greg', and wounded me badly, then kidnapped 'Shirlena' and took her off someplace. When I woke up in the hospital, the police were yelling at me 'YOU HAVE TO STOP HIM', and I was trying to argue 'What the fuck?! YOU'RE the police!'
I don't remember some between this, but I somehow found him, beat him down and shot him, and 'Shirlena' gave me some coupons.

[executioneer]

Originally Posted by Kitsa

My dream last night was that someone (I think the neighbor kid) brought me three "baby snakes" to take care of. At first glance I thought they were corn snakes, but when they were in my hands I realized that they were baby copperheads. The snakes promptly bit the hell out of my hands, and I rushed to the ER. They refused to give me any antivenin because I was pregnant. It was a frustrating dream.

if you're having dreams about baby snakes now, maybe sometime soon you'll have a dream about weasels ripping your flesh :dumbreference :rzzzzz

[Tadao]

So I'm not the only one that had that song in my head all day then.

[Kitsa]

Last night's was about some sort of strange Disney World trip with a large group of classmates. Disney World was much lamer than I remember it. Anyway, I wanted to go on the "It's a Small World" ride (you can pretty much only go on the lame stuff if you're disabled, no Space Mountain or anything) and so I got in line for that.

Instead of those big cars you get in, the seats were now small, floating egg-shaped pieces with a hollow for your butt. They were all crowded together in what seemed like a flume ride without water and just hovering. You had to pick one and balance just right to keep from getting tipped off. All of the seats were crowded together, it was kind of like one of those lazy river rides at a waterpark.

So the ride started, and instead of going on the normal track with everyone else I'm part of a group of ten or fifteen people who are suddenly diverted off to the right, up a steep conveyor belt. We end up in front of an office where a bunch of Disney scientists are trying to figure out what's wrong with our hover-egg-chair things.

I was pissed off because I could hear the "It's a Small World" music off in the distance and here we were, stuck on this damn conveyor belt with a bunch of irritated scientists in some little office trying to diagnose a problem we didn't even know we had.

Finally they either decided it wasn't that big of a problem, or they fixed it or something, but we couldn't finish the ride. One of the scientists got the bright idea to buy us all off, so he got out a bunch of Disney shopping bags and started loading them up with promotional chocolates. We were shoved out a back door with our bags of chocolate instead of getting to finish the ride.

[ZeldaQueen]

The first part of my dream last night was that I was at the local swimming pool with my brother. It was really crowded. Oh, and for some reason my swimsuit didn't have a top to it. Also for some reason, this seemed totally normal and no one noticed.

The second part was that I was in a shop of some sort looking for Halloween items. I apparently was in a "[Insert holiday] is canceled" movie though, because the store people seemed to be barred from selling Halloween items. I wandered through the dark store and launched into an impromptu inspirational song about how I'd just get what I needed and have Halloween without them. I don't think it worked... Oh, and I randomly found some personal belongings in the corner of the store, including some letters from my grandmother, a pillow, and a present (a stamp I think) which I had meant to send to my Chinese friend (I only say Chinese because I remember the name on the box was obviously that).

[LordSappington]

I have no idea what I was dreaming about, but I fell asleep in Algebra 2, and when the girl behind me poked me awake, I yelled 'DICKS EVERYWHERE'.

[Kitsa]

You were probably dreaming about dicks everywhere.

When I was in high school we had this asshole homeroom teacher who left this kid asleep at his desk when the bell rang. I was in the next class too, so I witnessed the poor kid drooling, snoring and farting in his sleep for a good 15 minutes before he woke up and realized he wasn't where he was supposed to be.

[Dr. V]

This has always stuck with me since I was like 4 or 5. My grandma's outdoor tablecloth that was red and white checkered came to life, in the shape of an octopus and told me, in a high, nasally voice, "I'm an octopus." Also Dracula and Frankenstein were there.

[Kitsa]

at least it was a straightforward sort of tablecloth.

Last night I dreamed I was in a palace-style manor home. My parents had a toaster oven in their room and I'd left mozzarella sticks cooking in it. But when I went back to get them, something was up in there and I was afraid to go in.

Then my parents changed into this young British couple. The dad looked like Cary Elwes. Also, they were evil somehow. I was one of three small children who stumbled onto something evil they were doing, don't remember what, and the mother ended up dead in some sort of little hidden room. Then the father was forcing us to pack as much as we could for life on the run. I was simultaneously terrified of him and terrified of what would happen if we were apprehended.

So I was running around the mansion packing up ridiculous gourmet foods, like some sort of soft moldy cheese with red beans embedded in it, and brownie mix and anything else I could find. The father was explaining something to one of my siblings about when he'd said that the mother didn't negotiate. As I stacked boxes on the stairs and noted that there were rolls of trash bags strung on the rail all the way down, he said, "The women in our family don't negotiate until they're sure they'll get what they want."

I'd just turned back to my boxes, leaning forward to balance myself on the steep sweeping staircase, when suddenly the father started yelling at us. Some sort of enormous thump shook the staircase so hard that I bounced free and was falling backwards.

I woke up braced for landing, adrenaline-sick. I hate dreams like that.

[LordSappington]

I've been having allergy problems lately, so I grabbed some random decongestants at the store and took them before I went to bed.
It turns out the decongestants have some sort of stimulant in them, because I woke up in the middle of the night, in a full adrenaline fight-or-flight panic, not knowing why. I ended up grabbing my crowbar, slamming my door open, and running out into the street before I got myself calmed down enough to figure out what the hell was going on.

[Kitsa]

Not bad. Any lasting damage to the door?

[LordSappington]

Not on the front door. But I knocked a hinge off my bedroom door, and put a dent in the wall.

[executioneer]

were there headcrabs in this dream

[The Leader]

[Colonel Flagg]

Originally Posted by Kitsa

You were probably dreaming about dicks everywhere.

Originally Posted by Kitsa

When I was in high school we had this asshole homeroom teacher who left this kid asleep at his desk when the bell rang. I was in the next class too, so I witnessed the poor kid drooling, snoring and farting in his sleep for a good 15 minutes before he woke up and realized he wasn't where he was supposed to be.

I was taking a summer history class in high school with a bunch of dumb-f**ks and we were watching some boring movie about China. When the lights came back on, the teacher said we should all be very quiet, as it was obvious that Tom had a rough night. He was sitting in the back of the room, sawing wood, head back, mouth open, you know the drill. At the end of class, we all left the room quietly and went home, leaving him there in the classroom.

Moral: Never fall asleep in class.

Originally Posted by LordSappington

[...]I woke up in the middle of the night, in a full adrenaline fight-or-flight panic, not knowing why. I ended up grabbing my crowbar, slamming my door open, and running out into the street before I got myself calmed down enough to figure out what the hell was going on.

What the eff are you doing with a crowbar near your bed? Seriously, dude, you need some Xanax. Now.

[LordSappington]

It's my zombie crowbar. I even put a little label above it.

[Sparkles the Fairy]

Dreams? I have no dreams of my own. I fly into the dreams of others and soothe their sleep with pleasant thoughts.

[Wiffles]

Waaaaaii! A real fairy, gee whiz, do you grant wishes or steal teeth? o.o

[Sparkles the Fairy]

Originally Posted by Wiffles

Waaaaaii! A real fairy, gee whiz, do you grant wishes or steal teeth? o.o

Steal teeth?! My dear Wiffles, I do not *steal* anything! I pay good money for the baby teeth the dear children leave me. It is only fair, as they are like pearls among my Folk.

As for granting wishes, well, my powers are a bit more limited than what you have read in stories. However, I can assure you that I certainly do my best to spread happiness and joy among you mortals.

[Wiffles]

Golly, I have so many things to learn from your folk. Like What do you do with all the teeth you collect, like do you build a giant Death-star or a casino out of all those teeth?? Or do you use them to power your magical nuclear reactors so you can produce more pixie dust??? TELL ME MORE! o.o
Your magical origins and your toothy hijinks intrigue Wiffles very much ^.^

[Kitsa]

I dreamed last night that my ex was trying to abduct one of my cats.

[Sparkles the Fairy]

Originally Posted by Wiffles

Golly, I have so many things to learn from your folk. Like What do you do with all the teeth you collect, like do you build a giant Death-star or a casino out of all those teeth?? Or do you use them to power your magical nuclear reactors so you can produce more pixie dust??? TELL ME MORE! o.o
Your magical origins and your toothy hijinks intrigue Wiffles very much ^.^

Death stars, casinos, and nuclear reactors are human follies. We wear human baby teeth as jewelery.

Pixie dust, or more accurately, fairy dust, is a natural by-product of my body, just as you product sweat. Unlike sweat, however, fairy dust smells like lilac-flavored cotton candy, and has magical properties.