The neverending parade of judge shows.

[Kitsa]

Remember when the only court show around was Wapner on The People's Court? Unless you counted Night Court, I guess, which I don't.

I heard that Judge Judy is worth $96 million. Her show seems the most like a real courtroom, although sometimes she seems to go off on a yelling tangent and won't listen. That and she is always going on about how smart she is.
Yes, ok, obviously, you turned this into $96M, we know you're smart.

Judge Mathis is a sucker for Detroit references and goes off on his own comedic stuff while people stand there and wait for people to get back to the case.

Divorce Court is so gimmicky. Gary Coleman? Really? Is he using the show, or is the show using him?

Judge Alex...meh. I don't like that "countdown to the verdict" clock.

Have you noticed that Judge Joe Brown's audience is comprised almost entirely of models? There isn't an unattractive woman in the place. Then at the end of the show they find reasons to cross back and forth in front of the camera, like they forgot something in the courtroom. He's entertaining, though.

People's Court is what it is. Harvey Levin runs that sleazy TMZ crap, though.

The newcomers....Christina's Court and Judge David Young...I don't like either of those. "She takes the law into her own heart..." ....what?

It seems like the judge shows start right after the early morning crap talk shows and run right through to evening. I find that amazing. There must be a big audience.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I don't know if it's still on but there was this show called eye for an eye. Pretty certain it was fake because the judge had a baseball bat with Justice carved into it. Hilarious though. His verdicts: One person owed another person like $600-$700. So the judge was like "Well, you don't have the money but you drove here right?" So the judge auctioned off his car in the parking lot for $100.

[Emu]

I like judge judy :<

[WhiteRat]

I remember watching a judge show years ago that had two kids fighting over who owned a playstation or some shit. One of the dads was telling the judge that the other kid had taunted him by calling him "a broke down Bernie Mac." Shit had my gut bursting at the seams.

[Emu]

How much authority, if any, do these judge shows actually have?

David Young irritates me because he can't seem to get over how gay he is and references it in every episode, but I was watching him the other day when there was a case of an interracial lesbian couple who had been evicted from an apartment owned by an older white man and his wife. All the couple had to do was even insinuate that the landlord was racist and/or homophobic and the judge went off on a tirade about what a racist bigot the landlord was. And then he made it very clear that his perceived bigotry affected the sentencing, because IIRC he awarded additional emotional damages to the couple, which is something a real judge wouldn't have gotten away with.

[Kitsa]

Someone who was on one (can't remember who, but I think the show was Judge Judy) told a family member of mine that the cases are decided before the televised court thing even happens. As a matter of fact, I think they either said or insinuated that the show picks from a selection of closed small claims cases. Or people agree to appear on the show instead of going to court. I really have no idea how it works but that was the third-hand info I got.

They also said that each party gets, say, $5000 to appear. Then the monetary judgment is subtracted from one and added to the other. So I guess they're just getting yelled at on TV for money and they're not really out anything, which might explain why some of them act like they aren't really that upset.

I don't like Judge David Young's show either. If you have a cute dog that's like his dog, case closed. Then there's that little post-show thing where he shows off his dog to the crowd. And yes, as you said, if a litigant wants to capitalize on the minority issue, his show is the place to go.

Each judge seems to have something that sets them off. Judge Mathis likes to go off on tangents about gangsta wannabes and Detroit. Judge Marilyn Milian loves to throw out Spanish phrases and ask people if they know what they mean. Judge Judy is the person to go to if you've been wronged by some dumbass kid she can yell at. Judge Joe Brown will almost always rule against guys who don't "tcb", as he says. People could probably just figure out their best odds of winning by choosing the judge who hates their opponent's "type" the most.

Fun fact: Judge Joe Brown presided over one of the James Earl Ray hearings.

[Asila]

Each judge seems to have something that sets them off. Judge Mathis likes to go off on tangents about gangsta wannabes and Detroit. Judge Marilyn Milian loves to throw out Spanish phrases and ask people if they know what they mean. Judge Judy is the person to go to if you've been wronged by some dumbass kid she can yell at. Judge Joe Brown will almost always rule against guys who don't "tcb", as he says. People could probably just figure out their best odds of winning by choosing the judge who hates their opponent's "type" the most.

I like Judge Judy and the People's Court well enough to watch them if they happen to be on, but that is one thing that always bugged the hell out of me; Judge Marilyn throwing out those random spanish phrases, acting like they're really old or charming spanish proverbs ("you know what my grandmother used to tell me?") but they always end up translating to "You shouldn't do things that are stupid" or "real men take care of their problems." Well yeah but you could have just said that, lady.

[Kitsa]

No court proceeding I've ever been to looked anything like any of these shows. Judge Judy is the closest, but that's not really saying much.

In real court situations, judges/magistrates seem to give zero shits about story. They sit there and bark out questions, God help you if you aren't succinct. You hand over your evidence, you leave, you find out what the official decision is later.

At least, that's my experience.

Here's an entertaining crackhead on Judge Joe Brown.

[Colonel Flagg]

Originally Posted by Kitsa

No court proceeding I've ever been to looked anything like any of these shows.

True enough. If you wax poetic about how you've been wronged, you'll piss off the magistrate faster than you can say "nolo contendere". In real life, they've got a boatload of cases to go through, and you're just wasting their time.

What I've also learned, is that even when you think you've won, you might still lose.

[Kitsa]

Colonel Flagg: Absolutely. And most courtrooms just look like glorified meeting rooms with barely anyone there, and a tape recorder on the table.


There are also the judge shows that have fallen by the wayside...Judge Hatchett (I think she got cancelled...dunno, don't see her anymore), and...wasn't there some "Texas Justice" one with some guy named Jim Bob or Joe Bob or something like that? I remember the interior of the courtroom looked like one of those Texas steakhouses. I half-expected to see peanut shells on the floor.

Another thing I was wondering about judge shows: why is it almost always the case that the bailiff will be the opposite gender/race than the judge? Is that so they won't look like they're being prejudiced?

Judge Judy: White female judge, black male bailiff.
Judge Marilyn: Latina female judge, black male bailiff.
Judge David Young: White male judge, black female bailiff.
Judge Alex: White male judge, black male bailiff.
Divorce Court: Black female judge, latino (I think) male bailiff.
Judge Mathis: Black male judge, white male bailiff.
Judge Joe Brown: Black male judge, latina female bailiff (used to be white female bailiff)
Judge Cristina: Latina female judge, black male bailiff.

That, and bailiffs on those shows are more like the Ed McMahons, especially on Judge Judy.

"Ha ha ha! You are corrrrrect, your honor!"

[timrpgland]

Judge Judy is hilarious

[25_McDoogle]

Judge Mathis all the way! Back last summer, every day at 2 P.M., a couple of friends and I watched Judge Mathis' smackdown on the people and their pitiful cases. It was great times. A year later, a couple of my friends are actually going to see Judge Mathis this Thursday.

Soooo jealous that I can't go due to work.

[pac-man]

All of these shows deserve mention in the "Worst TV Shows Ever" thread. ESPECIALLY Judge Judy. Judith Sheidlin is horribly impartial. The rest are knock-offs of a knock-off. The original People's Court didn't have a caricature for a judge or a bunch of fucking geetchies and rednecks as litigants. I'd totally believe that they're getting a nice monetary stipend to appear, because all of these fucking retards look like they'd suck a dick for an egg McMuffin and a ride home.

[Jeanette X]

My Mom watches those shows, and I can't stand them. Such vindictive, petty people with such stupid problems. Gah. I hope I never, ever have to go to court for anything ever.

[Softix]

I personally am fed up with these shows..ridiculous, senseless and do not make for great viewing..

[badboy7]

I think the best part of the movie was the story of the movie...

[executioneer]

what the hell are you even talking about, nobody's talking about a movie

are you some sort of bot

[liquidstatik]

Originally Posted by badboy7

I think the best part of the movie was the story of the movie...

[Tadao]

God heard your pleas.

http://break.com/index/judge-judy-ro...arthquake.html

[Sacks]

EXTREME AKIM EXTREME AKIM EXTREME AKIM

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Was trying to figure out why the defendant and plaintiff didn't bother moving at all. Rest of the crowd bounced in a second.

[Kitsa]

I'd have been afraid of one of those studio lights coming down on my head.

It was a little funny how quickly Judge Judy bolted...every cranky old judge for herself, I guess...

[Sacks]

She didn't bolt she got under her desk thing so shit wouldn't fall on her.

[Schimid]

Yeah, how dare a woman exercise self preservation.

[Nick]

It should be noted that although the show refers to Sheindlin as a judge, neither she nor Petri Hawkins-Byrd is acting as an actual court officer on the show. She is acting as an arbiter, and Byrd is acting as a private security guard.

Haha.