Go Back   I-Mockery Forum > I-Mockery Discussion Forums > General Blabber
FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
Ancient Mariner
Grislygus's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2006
Old Aug 9th, 2011, 05:38 PM        GRISLYGUS' EPIC INTERACTIVE ADVENTURE!
So this random sixteen year old kid has messaged me out of the blue on Kongregate. I'm going to see just how much and subtly I can screw with him.

PART ONE, YEAH VERILY

Quote:
axlkoegoskyeg: May I ask you a question? (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: what, me?

axlkoegoskyeg: Yeah, you. It would have to be somebody... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: whatcha need

axlkoegoskyeg: Have you ever felt in the need of a slave? (reply)

grislygus: lol what

To axlkoegoskyeg: yeah, sure

axlkoegoskyeg: Great. Now, before we make it official, I may need to ask
you a few questions... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: First of all, what do you need a slave for? (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: I already have one, it's called a computer. I use it for entertainment and work purposes

axlkoegoskyeg: Oh... Wait, then what you need ME for? (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: I was under the impression you needed ME for some unknown reason

axlkoegoskyeg: ... No, I was actually just checking if you could accept me as your slave... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Anyway, in that case, hmm... Wanna hear a story? (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: At this point I'm interested in ANYTHING you have to say

axlkoegoskyeg: ... Wow, I rock at attention grabbers... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: Yeah, good job. And?

axlkoegoskyeg: Anyway, any particular type of story you prefer to hear? (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: whatever works for you, in any direction you'd care to go

axlkoegoskyeg: Ok. So, I will take it you wouldnt have a problem is I tried a interactive one, would you? (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: whatever works for you

axlkoegoskyeg: Ok. I will try one, called Kalthazar: The Fall of the Dark Emperor, which is a personal favourite of mine... The name os basically self explenatory, and even thought it is a bit cliche, and the start is a bit slow, I really love it. (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: I will PM the intro in your profile, as it is REALLY long. (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Sent it. Call me when you are done reading. (reply)

Spoilers!


To axlkoegoskyeg: I only got a single long paragraph? Anyway, done

axlkoegoskyeg: Really? Something must have gone really wrong with the formatting... What do you think? (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: well first, this is the last sentence that I got: "The Council of the Paladin Lords is still attemping to adopt a stance on it, but so far, they are just tryng to keep the peace and minimize the damage…"

To axlkoegoskyeg: Is that correct?

axlkoegoskyeg: ... Yes, it is. (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Anything 2 say?] (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: Awright, sounds interesting, but it's crippled by spelling and grammatical errors, which is well before we get into the problems with how the exposition is structured

axlkoegoskyeg: ... Sorry about that, I never actually spellchecked it, and English isnt my main language, so, overral, you should thanks for it still being comprehensible... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: So,what do you want your background to be? (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: it's all good, I can ed

To axlkoegoskyeg: Oh, right, we're doing this.

To axlkoegoskyeg: My background?

axlkoegoskyeg: Yeah, basically, who you want to be in the story. It is a interactive one, after all... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: Uh, feudal system? Freeman landowner, several sons who have done very well in religious and military service, just settling in to middle age. Dead wife, no daughters. Want to manage my state and stay out of politics as a general rule

axlkoegoskyeg: ... Well, it wasnt suppose to be totally a feudal systen, rather a weird theocracy... But, it shouldnt be hard to adapt your character for it... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: ... Just give me some time to think in a way to put you into this mess... Also, if you dont intend your character name to be Grislygus, you should try something else... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Basically.

To axlkoegoskyeg: No problem, I'm cool with whatever works for you
__________________
IT'S A GOOFY BALL, MATTHEW. NOT A SUPER COMPUTER.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
SKATASTIC
10,000 Volt Ghost's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Buffalo, NY
Old Aug 9th, 2011, 06:05 PM       
Quote:
Not only he single manly killed all the city guard


Please continue this theocracy. See if he can add me into this mess too. LORD TENKAY, CHOSEN OF THE GOD OF THE WIND. FROM THE KINGDOM OF AIRHORNIA.
__________________
God speed you meddling kids.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
Ancient Mariner
Grislygus's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2006
Old Aug 9th, 2011, 06:17 PM       
PART TWO OF A GRAND ADVENTURE

Quote:
axlkoegoskyeg: ( So, you were that farmer, heir of a very large, old property. Mostly, you kept yourself to your own business and tried to stay away of any conflict... Until... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: ( PS: I couldnt think in a way to drag you into the MAIN storyline yet, so I had the idea of making a sort of secoundary story for you, on which you may or may not end up in the main one afterwards... ) (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: SOunds fine by me

axlkoegoskyeg: ( One of your workers, running in your direction ) We are under a- (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: ( He is interrupted by a arrow, that hits hin straight into the heart. When he falls, behind hin, you see the archer who was responsable for that arrow... A tall, muscled men, in dark clothes... ) (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: ( And he is not the only one, either. You can see more coming, archers, warriors, even a mage, with his dark robes, floating... His hod in such a position that you cannot see his eyes, only his mouth, and he carries a staff on his hand and a book on… (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: (Sorry: Where was it cut off? ) (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: -and he carries a staff on his hand and a book on…

axlkoegoskyeg: his pocket, as he yells... ) (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Mage: Find it, find it! Kill every men if you have to, but find it! You dont want to keep the master waiting... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Mage( looks at you ) You... Are you the Bearer? (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: I look at the mage with a calm and steely glare. I tilt my head sideways, and peer at him with the experience of a thousand raids, decades of hardship and suffering batted away by my own iron will. I call out, in a loud and clear voice, that if Geoffrey wants his goddamned butter, he has to pay for it. And if he isn't working Geoffrey, what the hell does he want?

Kongregate Notice: Part of your message was cut off because it exceeded the 250 character maximum.

To axlkoegoskyeg: suffering batted away by my own iron will. I call out, in a loud and clear voice, that if Geoffrey wants his goddamned butter, he has to pay for it. And if he isn't working Geoffrey, what the hell does he want?

To axlkoegoskyeg: I then absently push the corpse of my newly deceased worker away from me with my foot

axlkoegoskyeg: Mage( Laughs out loud, around the same way I am right now )You fool... You have no idea of the power that is in your pocket, do you? This will be easier then I thought... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: As I poke at the corpse with my foot, I use the skills developed during a youth spent pickpocketing to slip my hand into my pocket unseen

To axlkoegoskyeg: I then look up into the air and stare, before calmly mentioning that I've spent the entirety of my life cooperating with my social betters, and don't see why that cooperation would be so callously disregarded. I look at the mage and wait for a response.

Kongregate Notice: Part of your message was cut off because it exceeded the 250 character maximum.

To axlkoegoskyeg: CRAP. of my life cooperating with my social betters, and don't see why that cooperation would be so callously disregarded. I look at the mage and wait for a response.

axlkoegoskyeg: ( There isnt that much to find in your pocket, besides a few golden coins, and a old dagger, not sharp enought to beusefull, and all covered with runes... ) (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Mage: You honestly have no idea of the origins of your family, do you? Origins older then this very empire... Older then the day the Nine came to this world... Sadly, what is in my front right now appears to be a mere mortal... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: I try to hide my confusion that a runic dagger is suddenly in my pants. Aside from that, I grip one of the golden coins between my thumb and forefinger, in that old, special way

To axlkoegoskyeg: I look directly at the mage, and I say that I apologize if my commonness causes offense, but say that I would like to ask him a single question

axlkoegoskyeg: ( He points his staff at you, and fires what seems to be some sort of dark rampage... However, to your surprise, your warrior reflexes allow you to not only easily block it, but... Wait, what in the hell... ) (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: ( As the rampage hits the dagger, you notice it is glowing in a kind of extremely dark purple color... In fact, not only that, but YOU are glowing in that coloras well... It is a power, pulsiating all over your body... It is hard to describe, but… (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: ( Again: Where was it cut off? ) (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: -it is hard to describe, but...

axlkoegoskyeg: your senses are sharper, your muscles are stronger, and you feel a strong energy all over it, just waiting to be unleashed... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: I revel in the power, yell, call the mage a rat bastard motherfucker that needs to learn some common courtesy before shooting fireballs at people, and hurl the coin in that old, special way

To axlkoegoskyeg: The same way that let my shake off the town guards when they chased me as a child, flicking the coin a phenomenal distance, popping him in the temple. Then I run up and give him a vicious kick to the balls. I then run like a bitch

axlkoegoskyeg: ( Apparently, the coin has been contagiated, too... For, as it swings in the air, it starts burning with... Darkfire? A forbitten kind of spell, which would supposely consume the soul of a enemy, rather then its body... But, you know bullshit of… (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: (I keep getting vut off again and again. So, where was it? (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: -But, you know bullshit of…

axlkoegoskyeg: that kind of magic, not much more then what you hear mages at the academy eavesdrop around... ) (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: ( The mage throws some sort of dark wave, tossing the coin away, but somehow barely scraching you. After you give a accurate kick, and run away while he is staggered, you can hear he yelling behind you... ) (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Mage: Dont think I am done with you, mortal. You may have the power, but you barely know how to use it. You are just a amateur. As soon as I get to you, I will show you what is the true power of the Illmaterians... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: I am absolutely stunned that he can speak after my superpowered kick reduced his genitals to a greasy pile of crushed blood, but manage to keep running

To axlkoegoskyeg: I wonder where I can go, where I can flee as he yells after me. I then remember my old friend, Bill Tenkay...

axlkoegoskyeg: ( As you run, in a certain point, you her something behind you... You turn, anmd is surprised when you see one of the bandids, a tall, muscled one, bearing a broadsword, jump in your direction, ready to cut you in half... But is then cut in helf by… (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: Good old Bill, he never let me down. He had done well for himself, become a Chosen of the Wind God...

axlkoegoskyeg: ( Sorry: Where was it cut off? ) (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: -But is then cut in helf by… I keep my reflexes coiled,

To axlkoegoskyeg: I keep ducking and dodging, keeping aware of my surroundings, knowing that all I have to do is live long enough to see my friend, Bill Tenkay, and ask for his help and knowldedge
__________________
IT'S A GOOFY BALL, MATTHEW. NOT A SUPER COMPUTER.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
SKATASTIC
10,000 Volt Ghost's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Buffalo, NY
Old Aug 9th, 2011, 06:43 PM       
YOU MUST SPREAD SOME REPUTATION AROUND BEFORE GIVING IT TO GRISLYGUS.
__________________
God speed you meddling kids.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
Ancient Mariner
Grislygus's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2006
Old Aug 9th, 2011, 07:10 PM       
PART THREE OF A DULL ADVENTURE GETTING EVEN WORSE

Quote:
axlkoegoskyeg: a men with a sword that comes in at a very convenient time... ) (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: And, he turns around, you can see it is one of the other peasants... Marcus Whiskey( Just made it up, still open tosuggestions ), a reliable cowboy who, as far as you know, was suppose to be a pacifist... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: Is this man with a sword my good friend Bill Tenkay? That long-locked redhair of a man?

To axlkoegoskyeg: A cowboy? Like, cowboy hat cowboy?

To axlkoegoskyeg: I ask if he has a gun

axlkoegoskyeg: ( Well, I had to make up something... Ironically, I was intending to make it a old friend of yours in a visit, but... ) (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: ( Ah well, never mind. Had to improvise a bit. Hope it will do. (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: The men( Running behind you, althought, you become suddenly very aware, your newfound speed means he is much slower then you ) Hey( arf, arf )... Where are you going? (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: As for a gun, well, yes, I have one, but trust me: It wont help you much against that guy... I tried, but he is, like... Definitively NOT the common raider... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: I stop and turn. Marcus, were you just barking?

axlkoegoskyeg: No, just tired... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "Shut up, Marcus. You know who that is? Tell me on the way, we need to get to the Temple of the Wind God... I know Lord Bill Tenkay. He can help us."

axlkoegoskyeg: I know, I know... Well, the Wind God was never one of the Nine, but I have utterly no idea of what these guys can be... Not more then what the rumours say, anyway... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Judging for the clothes, they must be the Dark Fang Clan, or just DFC. They are the servants of Darkus, a extremely powerfull drow mage... They usually like to pillage small villages and enslave the population... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: However, I am no specialist, Gris, but I think there is a considerable difference between a farm, even a large one such as yours, and a village... And he was also yelling something in the lines of Find it, what means they were looking for something… (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: ( Again: Where was it cut off? ) (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: My character keeps talking, barely hearing what poor Marcus has to say. "Good old Bill. We had a long, and very DEEP friendship, you see. Long and hard roads together, the two of us. Knew him better than any other man. VERY close. Special friendship, and all that, long and hard roads."

Kongregate Notice: Part of your message was cut off because it exceeded the 250 character maximum.

To axlkoegoskyeg: Long and hard roads together, the two of us. Knew him better than any other man. VERY close. Special friendship, and all that, long and hard roads."

To axlkoegoskyeg: "Wait, Marcus, that actually sounded important. What were you saying?"

axlkoegoskyeg: ( He repeats what he says, as I dont currently have the patient to rewrite it, nor you to reread it. ) (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Marcus: Do you have any idea of what it can be? (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: I take out the dagger and look at it carefully

axlkoegoskyeg: Marcus: Yep, never seen it before. To me, it sounds like just a old, rusty dagger... Except for the fact that it has this weird, dark aura around it, you know... That, now that I think about it, you seem to have too... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "I suspect, Marcus, that this is the Foehammer. We need to move quickly, before Goblins come after us as well."

axlkoegoskyeg: Marcus: Wait a- Foehammer?What do you mean by- Bah, never mind. Typically, when there are a bunch of dark clouds arising from the sky where a mage just attacked( points at the sky above your old farm ), it is a sign that you have to run faster... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: ... And here am I, still talking rather then RUNNING, as these are extending in our direction... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "Then don't tire this time, Marcus! Let us flee! TO THE WIND TEMPLE!"

axlkoegoskyeg: ( You run, and fast... In the very rare occasions where you stop to look behind, you see the clouds are extending faster and faster... With the mage in its front, fliyng around like a freak, and below it, the grass seens to wither and die... ) (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: ( Eventually, you get to what seems to be A wind temple... It isnt themain one,just a sanctuary in the road, but it will have to do. Besides, Bill is a big traveler, anyway, and this is a sanctury in the road... (reply)
axlkoegoskyeg: ( AS you enter the temple, when you turn back to close the door, you see the clouds reached above the mage... And the stare on his face, to your surprise, was a stare of fear... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Mage: PLEASE, LET ME IN, I WILL SO ANYTHING, JUST LET ME- (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: I point and laugh

To axlkoegoskyeg: Then I elbow Marcus. "Are you SEEING this?!"

grislygus: "Come on, let's go inside"

To axlkoegoskyeg: whoops, lol. "Come on, let's go inside"

axlkoegoskyeg: ( But he didnt got to finish that sentence, as a bunch of tentacles of darkness came from the clouds and immobilized the mage, breaking his staff, and slowly suffocating it... And then, from where the tentacles are coming, a weid figure comes out… (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: ( Again: Where was it cut off? ) (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: And then, from where the tentacles are coming, a weid figure comes out…

axlkoegoskyeg: too... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "too"... what?

axlkoegoskyeg: ( It seems like a male drow, for the gray skin and eyes, but definitively different of anything you saw. It wears some kind of heavy armor, of a model similar to the ones of ancient Illmaterian mages... He was quite tall, with a very long hair...… (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: (Again: Where was it cut off? ) (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: He was quite tall, with a very long hair...…

axlkoegoskyeg: His face seemed serene, even happy, as if killing people was some sort of hobby for hin... ) (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Mage: Please, no... I wont fail you again, I... I SWEAR it... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Men: You swore it the last time, too... And the last... And the last... Honestly, it doesnt mean much anymore... If you really cant beat a mere farmer... Perhaps you would be better devoured... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: ( A last, loud screan was heard, vefore a torrent of dark energy came fromthe dark mage, to this... Drow. ) (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: ( And then, when he fell, from his body, there was nothing but ashes... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Men: AS for you... Perhaps, one day we shall meet... Or perhaps not... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: I patiently wait until he's done feeding his pet, then wave at him. I turn to Marcus; "Why the hell aren't you inside?! Do you want to die?!"

To axlkoegoskyeg: I hit Marcus and shove him inside, closing the door behind us.

axlkoegoskyeg: Marcus: Oh, yeah( jumps in ) (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "Allright sheepsbrain, keep an eye out for A tall man with bug eyes and long red hair"

To axlkoegoskyeg: "With the DREAMIEST smile."

To axlkoegoskyeg: I cup my hands and bellow Bill's name, ignoring the glares I get from the wind acolytes"

axlkoegoskyeg: Marcus: So... This must be Darkus, I assume...He sure was... Powerfull. I mean, that mage could, and did, rip one apart as ifit was some kind of doll, but that drow killed hin as if his magic was some kind of joke... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Also... Dreamiest smile, you say? Now that I think about it, you always have that dreamy look whenever you talk about Bill... (reply)
2ToxicCookies: Mehbeh.

To axlkoegoskyeg: "Shut up, Marcus!" I grab one of the acolytes, and ask if he's seen "Bill, or, I mean, Lord Tenkay"

axlkoegoskyeg: Acolytes: Well, he said he was going for a visit,because he believed some sort of extremely powerfull dark force would come here in a couple of days... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Acolyte; However, he isnt here ye- (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "Where is he? WHERE'S MY FRIEND BILL"

axlkoegoskyeg: ( All in the sudden, a small whirliwind of wind comes out in the middle of the room... When it dissipates, well... There is hin. ) (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: I grin and act like I wasn't about to beat up one of the acolytes
__________________
IT'S A GOOFY BALL, MATTHEW. NOT A SUPER COMPUTER.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
Ancient Mariner
Grislygus's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2006
Old Aug 9th, 2011, 07:03 PM       
Oh man I'm sorry to tell you this, but Lord Tenkay is kind of a useless fag . I'm actually pretty bored with this crap, once I go to work I'm sure as hell bailing on it
__________________
IT'S A GOOFY BALL, MATTHEW. NOT A SUPER COMPUTER.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
creeposaurus creeposaurus is offline
Well Shit
creeposaurus's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2011
Old Aug 9th, 2011, 07:16 PM       
I'm going to name my firstborn son Marcus Whiskey
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
frappez le cochon rouge
Fathom Zero's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: cancer
Old Aug 9th, 2011, 07:17 PM       
They can't all be winners, Gus.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jixby Phillips View Post
Oh god fathom zero, you are revealing yourself to be completely awful
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
Ancient Mariner
Grislygus's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2006
Old Aug 9th, 2011, 07:26 PM       
If this keeps going until I'm supposed to leave for work, I'm going to have Farmergus test his theory that everyone else in the world is actually a ghost and won't be harmed by if HE stabs them
__________________
IT'S A GOOFY BALL, MATTHEW. NOT A SUPER COMPUTER.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
Ancient Mariner
Grislygus's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2006
Old Aug 9th, 2011, 07:26 PM       
Why the hell is this sixteen year old randomly propositioning people with narratives, anyway
__________________
IT'S A GOOFY BALL, MATTHEW. NOT A SUPER COMPUTER.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
frappez le cochon rouge
Fathom Zero's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: cancer
Old Aug 9th, 2011, 07:39 PM       
I bet he's a paraplegic.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jixby Phillips View Post
Oh god fathom zero, you are revealing yourself to be completely awful
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
Ancient Mariner
Grislygus's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2006
Old Aug 9th, 2011, 07:47 PM       
PART FIVE: THE TALKING CONTINUES
AKA FARMERGUS HAS AN ANGER PROBLEM AND I SWEAR TO GOD MARCUS KEEP YOUR WHORE MOUTH SHUT


Quote:
axlkoegoskyeg: ( He always had that light appearence on hin, but since he became the chosen of tghe God of Wind, Auril, this wa quite amplified... His skin is so clearly white, it is almost translucid( if this even makes sense ), and while being very short( Not… (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: (Again: Where was it cut off? ) (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: -this even makes sense ), and while being very short( Not…

axlkoegoskyeg: Not higher then 1.60 ), his dragonfly-like eyes still somehow manage to look to your face from above... He also has two, bird wings,each one bigger then the rest ofhis body,andvery long, white as snow hair... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill:... If are you here...And considering the dead body out there... I am late, am I not? (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: ... I know I should have been carefull when fliyng around that ink factory, and now, I have white ink all over me. Goddammit. (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Marcus: That explains a lot... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "DAMNIT, BILL!" I ignore the acolytes enraged that I didn't address him as "Lord Tenkay". "I have to hire new people now! All I have left is this idiot!" I gesture at Marcus

axlkoegoskyeg: Marcus: Hey. (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: I then ignore Marcus when he protests that he doesn't work for me

To axlkoegoskyeg: I look at him. "Oh, and since they're after me, they'll be after you, too. I'd stick around with us if I was in your shoes"

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill: Wait, calm down, I was GOING there, you know... But then, well,,, I dunno, I usually never ger late, but I did this one time... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill: Besides... Are you insunuating I cant defend myself? (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "What the hell are you talking about? My poor schmuck FARMERS can't defend themselves!"

To axlkoegoskyeg: "Anyway, good to see you, buddy"

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill: Nice to see you, too... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: I toss the dagger to him. Here, have this. Figure out what to do with it, will you?

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill: Mmmhmm,intersting... Well, the God of Wind isnt part of the Nine, and in fact, it is a relatively new cult around these band, ya know... However... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill: Judging by the patterns of the runes, I would say: This dagger was probably used to seal the prison of some sort of powerfull demon... Part of its essence lies within it... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill: Now, youmust be wondering, who in the hell is Darkus and why in the hell he chosen to attack YOU, of all people... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "That would be a big yes, right there. You know I don't go messing with politics and hellspawned nightmares from beyond time and space. Bad for business

axlkoegoskyeg: Well, first of all, how much do you know about the Illmaterian Empire? (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "Nothing. I just know my horses."

To axlkoegoskyeg: And stealing. And bullying. And manipulating, tricking, bamboozling, and men.

axlkoegoskyeg: And that is why I like you. (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Basically, they were a brutal magocracy which was around before the times of the Nine. Non casters were reduced to slavedery, and targets of all types of... Experiments. (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: There are also the drow. Such as hin... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Marcus: Ahh, the drow. A annoiyng clerical race that worships some kind of dark godness... And likes to kidnapo surfacers to serve then as slaves in the underground... I can see where Darkus got that habit from... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill: Sadly, thought, it gets much, much worst. You see, the Drows are a female teocracy composed of 12 ancient priestessess, being that the leader, and main one, the chosen oftheir dark godness, Lolth... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "FEMALES? BLASPHEMY"

axlkoegoskyeg: Marcus: Well, if I know anything about woman, that guy was now matriarch. Not in the feminine, anyway. (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill: Oh, and this is where my favourite part comes. He isnt a matriarch. He is much, much worst. (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg:: "Wai, whu- Shut up, Marcus. Worse than a matriarch? With womanly bits?!!"

Kong Bot: axlkoegoskyeg: cannot be reached. Please try again later.

To axlkoegoskyeg:: NOOOOOOOOOOO. WE'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT'S WORSE THAN A VAGINA WITH POWER

axlkoegoskyeg: He was hardly the first drow mage who tried to unleash the secrets of the Illmaterian. But he is currently showinmg hinself dangerously close of sucess... One by one, he challanged all the matriarchs to duels... They all were humiliated, and had… (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: ( Sorry: Where was it cut off? ) (reply)
To axlkoegoskyeg: One by one, he challanged all the matriarchs to duels... They all were humiliated, and had…

To axlkoegoskyeg: Farmer Gus nodded approvingly at that bit, btw
axlkoegoskyeg: most of their power stripped from then... Making hin now officially the worst ofthe drow... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "Doesn't seem too bad to ME. My farm's wrecked, anyway. Any employment opportunities with this guy? Level with me, Bill."

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill: You should probably start taking things more seriously, considering how hw was the responsable for the wreckingof your farm. And I am not sure if,without the dagger, you two are powerfull enought to even deserve to be enslaved. He will… (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: (Once more: Wherewas I cut off? ) (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: you two are powerfull enought to even deserve to be enslaved. He will-

axlkoegoskyeg: probably just devourt your souls. (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Me however( proud smile ) probably can expect a eternity of servidon under constant threat of death and other punishments, some of then even worst. After all, I am too mighty to be wasted away like that, and... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Marcos: Does he always boast that way? (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "Shut up, Marcus. Bill, you know more than anybody how many people have tried to devour my soul. What is this, the seventh time? This world hates Farmers!"

To axlkoegoskyeg: "The main question is, how is Marcus supposed to kill this guy?"

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill: Hey, just kidding. I think I may or may not have tried once for lolz, but you know I wasnt serious back then... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "DON'T EVEN JOKE! I WAS VULNERABLE AND THAT TOPIC OF DISCUSSION IS FOREVER IN THE PAST!"

axlkoegoskyeg: Bill: AS for how in the hell do we kill this guy, well, I am not sure if you can do it alone... Even me, well, he already beaten a Chosen, and Lolth is suppose to be more powerfull then Auril... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "I didn't say WE, I said MARCUS."

axlkoegoskyeg: Marcus: Wait, me? Why in the hell... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "You're a cowboy, I'm a farmer. Do the math."

To axlkoegoskyeg: "I'LL JUST SMITE HIM WITH MY MIGHTY PLOW HANDLE!"

axlkoegoskyeg: I might be a cowboy, but I am not a demigod.,Right, Billy? (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Billy: i just said I cant do it on my own. Also, I am not a demigod, but a chosen. People keep confusing that. (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "yeah, MARCUS."

To axlkoegoskyeg: "Okay, alright. Since Mister I-Have-A-Gun-That-I'm-Scared-Of obviously can't do the job alone, how do we help him do it?"

axlkoegoskyeg: Marcus: Why you think that just because I have a gun I am suddenly invencible? Look: (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: ( He shoots at Billy, who, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, simply turns into a cloud, let it pass throught, and goes back to human form ) (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Marcus: See? Against this degree of people, they are worthless. (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "..."

To axlkoegoskyeg: "SHUT UP, MARCUS."

axlkoegoskyeg: Billy: Well, I have a idea... I am not sure ifyou will really like it, thought... (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: "If it involves my face being eaten by Azathoth, then no, I don't like it."

axlkoegoskyeg: By coincidence, somewhere around the south, there are three quite powerfull people traveling... Who could be able to give us all a hell of a hand... (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg: Billy:Actually, just your eyes, but it isnt about that. (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg: : "...Good to know, Bill."
__________________
IT'S A GOOFY BALL, MATTHEW. NOT A SUPER COMPUTER.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Sam Sam is offline
The Unicorn
Sam's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
Old Aug 9th, 2011, 07:44 PM       
What is this I don't even
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
Ancient Mariner
Grislygus's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2006
Old Aug 9th, 2011, 07:49 PM       
YOU'RE SUCH A LOVABLE MANSLUT, BILL
__________________
IT'S A GOOFY BALL, MATTHEW. NOT A SUPER COMPUTER.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
k0k0 k0k0 is offline
The Glum Cunt
k0k0's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Austin
Old Aug 9th, 2011, 08:25 PM       
I think that question about slaves in the beginning was to get you caught into a slave's embrace with him. One in which you were the willing slave of his narrative anti-powers.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
SKATASTIC
10,000 Volt Ghost's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Buffalo, NY
Old Aug 9th, 2011, 11:44 PM       
DAMN MY USELESS MANSLUTNESS. YOU SHOULD HAVE USED THE PLOW HANDLE SOONER.
__________________
God speed you meddling kids.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Sam Sam is offline
The Unicorn
Sam's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
Old Aug 9th, 2011, 11:53 PM       
GUS WTF ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE, MAN?
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
Ancient Mariner
Grislygus's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2006
Old Aug 10th, 2011, 12:00 AM       
WHEN I'M NOT AT SCHOOL, WORK, OR WITH FRIENDS?

DRAWING AND DOING JACK SHIT NOTHING
__________________
IT'S A GOOFY BALL, MATTHEW. NOT A SUPER COMPUTER.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
Ancient Mariner
Grislygus's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2006
Old Aug 10th, 2011, 02:26 AM       
PART 6: A BUNCH OF BORING CRAP IS SKIPPED AND I JUST PUT THE TAIL END OF IT HERE

Quote:
To axlkoegoskyeg
:
shit, got cut off there. You still there?

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Yep.* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
When you arrive, it as at night, and you are right in the front of the trio...* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
I let Marcus out of his headlock, covertly stealing his gun and whatever else was in his left pocket in the process.

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Draco was a tall men. REALLY tall men. Easily over 2 meter high. And he didnt lost much in bodybuild. He was covered with a metalic armor, filled with runes, and had a huge axe in his back.His face was full of scars. Truly the face of a warrior.* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya couldnt me more different is she tried, thought. She was only 10 inches taller then Bill, what on that case, wasnt saiyng much. She wore a dark dress and dark mantles. She had a red hair, around Bills colors, and his same rather childish…* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
( Sorry: Where was it cut off? )* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
She had a red hair, around Bills colors, and his same rather childish

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Overral, she seemed rather Bill sister then Dracos.* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
And the third person?

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Gabriel was a men, average high, average weight, with some colorfull mantles around hin... But he seemed to somehow glow, depending on the light...* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: You... I know you...* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
I mean, I never saw this weird farmer, nor this cowboy guy before, but I definitively know YOU, Bill...* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
"Really? I can't recall. One of those faces, I guess. Marcus, do you- Oh, you were talking about Bill."

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Marcus: Typically. The chosen always gets all the attention, doesnt he?* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
Oh man, do you remember when you tried to stab Bill in the eye and he punched you in the tit?

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Bill: Hey, I got where I am fair and square. Why? Angry because you lost to a guy?* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
Funniest dinner party ever

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Well, remember when I tossed a knife at you?* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
Yeah, you kind of missed. You know I wasn't even invited to that?

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: That is irrelevant. I am over this for a looong time ago,and we shouldnt revive old rivalities of the pa-* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
He wasn't even the one who spilled wine on you at all, that was me! Fun times.

axlkoegoskyeg
:
( All in the sudden, she dissapears... Only so that youcan suddenly realise you have a sword in your neck, and a warm breath, too. )* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: And that is why we shouldnt revive old rivalities...* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Draco: Should we stop then/* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Gabriel: And miss all the fun? No way.* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Anyway, may I know, what in the hell are you doing here?* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
"I shoot the man behind me with the gun I stole from Marcus. It's an awkward angle, but his femur is all kinds of shattered. I then point the gun at my own head."

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
"I remember something about my bloodline being important."

axlkoegoskyeg
:
( Men?Which men? )* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
The person behind me, with the sword?

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
OH SHIT, I JUST SHOT THE CHICK

axlkoegoskyeg
:
( Well, that was the plan, anyway. But, noticing your plan, she rapidly tosses you away and, with a movement of her sword, cuts the GUN in half. )* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
I drop the gun and look sheepish

axlkoegoskyeg
:
( Lol, honestly, I thought you could have figured it all by the context... )* (reply)

grislygus
:
The guy was in my pocket! In order for that to occur, it would have had to have gone through my leg and hand

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
whoops

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
he guy was in my pocket! In order for that to occur, it would have had to have gone through my leg and hand

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
lol the other people in chat think I'm a raging maniac

axlkoegoskyeg
:
( No, I meant that she cut it when you TOOK it from your pocket... )* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
(... You DID took it from your pocket, didnt you? )* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
I never took it from my pocket! Reached in unnoticed, pointed it back at her, and pulled the trigger

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
Shit sucks

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Oh.* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Never mind, misunderstandment. PS: Amongst other stuffs, she is suppose to be really **** fast... * (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
She can heal that, right

axlkoegoskyeg
:
... Why did I typed that**** again?* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Well, luckily to you, yes...* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
( And fast, apparently. Right in the front of your eyes, the bullet starts being squiized out. And, when it DOES come out, the cut startsclosing. In a matter of 30 secound,she is fully healed. )* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
I drop the gun and look sheepish

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Note to myself: Kill you in the future.* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Anyway, what in the hell did you intended to do here again?* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
"We're going to kill a guy who wants to eat my soul and damn you all to hell and slavery. That's good enough, right"

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Right.* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Bill: To be more accurate... How much do you know about Darkus?* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Gabriel: Only what the idiots of the Black Fang Clan told us before getting their ass kicked to death, or somethingclose of that...* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Bill:Well, that is just great... In that case, his hiedout probably stays aroundaIllmaterian ruin, probably onewith tunnels to deeper in the underground, where he is originallyfrom...So, ifyoucould...* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Well, of course we can, butright now,we are busy dealing with a despot powerfull enought to kill gods that intends to turn our dimmension into a dimmension of nightmare...* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
"Well, I understand that. So you can just take this dagger and take care of it later, right? With Marcus instead of me?"

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Marcus: STOP ASSUMING THAT I AM BADASS.* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Wait, that dagger... Where did you found it?* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
"I'M NOT, I'M ASSUMING YOU'LL DIE"

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Marcus: And that is the part where I say no thank you.* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
"YOU WILL DO IT AND LIKE IT, MARCUS. It just showed up in my pocket right before a bunch of jackasses waded in and murdered everything on my farm"

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Hmm... Intersting... Short meeting.* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
( She, Draco and Gabriel gave a few steps away and started mumbling something to eachother, and then Serpya goes back to you guys and says: )* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Ok, we will go, with one condition... You will have to defeat me in a swordfight...* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Bill: Well, that is just greeeat...* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: And, by you, I am talking to Gus here.* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
"GOOD LUCK, BILL"

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
"Wait, what?"

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Yes, you. It is obvious that this dagger is somehow bound to you, or it wouldnt have appeared on your pocket that out of the blue... I am curious to know how far does that bound goes...* (reply)

grislygus
:
"I'M A FORTY SEVEN YEAR OLD FARMER! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF CONDITION IS THAT?"

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
lol whoops "I'M A FORTY SEVEN YEAR OLD FARMER! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF CONDITION IS THAT?"

To axlkoegoskyeg
:
"You just want my knife!"

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: Of course not.* (reply)

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Marcus: Just a question: If we were strong enought to defeat you, hmm, how do I explain this... WHY IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE NEED YOUR HELP?* (reply)

To axlkoegoskyeg:
:
"Moron has a point! You're just a sadist who wants to beat up an innocent old man!"

Kong Bot
:
axlkoegoskyeg: cannot be reached. Please try again later.

axlkoegoskyeg
:
Serpya: ... Let us say, you will know what I am talking about. Very soonly.* (reply)


And, no. Sorry guys, I couldn't possibly take any more of this shit and just logged out. There's no way in hell I'm going to answer any more messages from this kid, either.

Also, I bullshitted my age as 26 on my kongregate profile. If this kid IS sixteen, why the hell did he specifically look me up and ask to tell me stories when I'm supposed to be 26? And if he isn't sixteen, CHRIS HANSEN WANTED TO TELL ME ALL ABOUT ELVES AND MAGICIANS
__________________
IT'S A GOOFY BALL, MATTHEW. NOT A SUPER COMPUTER.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Nick Nick is offline
pickled
Nick's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Bama
Old Aug 10th, 2011, 02:12 AM       
I was certain at the beginning he was trying to get all erotic with you, gus.
__________________
"RAAARGH! DOMO-KUN SMASH PUNY WEBSITE!"
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Chojin Chojin is offline
was never good
Chojin's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 1999
Old Aug 10th, 2011, 02:56 AM       
this is possibly the worst thread i've ever seen on this forum

i say possibly because i'm not going to read all that
Reply With Quote
  #22  
k0k0 k0k0 is offline
The Glum Cunt
k0k0's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Austin
Old Aug 10th, 2011, 03:08 AM       
Don't read it Chojin. It was an awful/boring story and it was probably more horrible to read than it was to create.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
Ancient Mariner
Grislygus's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2006
Old Aug 10th, 2011, 03:11 AM       
That's not even close to all of it. I did everything... possible... to piss him off. HE JUST KEPT TELLING THE FUCKING STORY, HE WOULDN'T STOP WITH THE GODDAMNED STORYTELLING HE JUST WOULDN'T GET PISSED OFF I FAILED SO HARD
__________________
IT'S A GOOFY BALL, MATTHEW. NOT A SUPER COMPUTER.
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
after enough bourbon ...
Colonel Flagg's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Philadelphia
Old Aug 10th, 2011, 11:29 AM       
The moral of the story - be careful for what you wish: it may come true, and then you'll be well and truly hosed.
__________________
The future is fun,
The future is fair.
You may already have won!
You may already be there.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

   


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:22 PM.


© 2008 I-Mockery.com
Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.