Oh my God. Pornographic/masturbatory/moral dilemma

[Hugh_Bristic]

Fuck. I didn't know who to tell. Frankly, I'm too ashamed to tell my friends what just happened but you all as strangers can help me fucking process what just happened.

It's pretty late, I'm stoned, watching Comedy Central. Because it's so late every commercial break is Girls Gone Wild and I thought "Hey, I wanna see some college titties and some fuckin', so I'll put in "college" in a porn website search. Watched the first video. Totally awesome, held up its end of the bargain. My ass gets greedy and thinks "One mo' time." So I click on a related video that had a set of titis that I really liked. I'm still halfway watching Comedy Central and during commercials I go back to the porn. But, umm... I'm pretty sure I saw this drunk college girl get raped. I'm not talking "Oh, she was just super drunk but she was into it and it seemed to sober her up" shit; I'm talking, she didn't move through anything the guys did to her and it was obvious she wasn't pretending to be asleep - she was fucking unconscious.

When I realized what the fuck was going on, it was too late and I had already touched myself enough to where I honestly feel like I'm in danger of going to hell - or creating my own hell - because I watched this. I've done some pretty fucked up shit, but this one makes me want to puke. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Is there anything I can do? Fuck. I'm seriously going to be ruined for life if there's something I can do and don't. So... help, please. Fuck.