Weekly Movie Review: G.I.JOE: The Rise Of Cobra

[Just Ami]

I'm too afraid to go see it. It's bad enough that so many of my favorite things are getting re-booted, and "re-imagined" to the point where I just want to poke my eyes out with a curling iron, but now... after so long of dreaming, we finally get a G. I. Joe.... and it looks like THAT? I can't even tell who is supposed to be who because they all look generic S & M posers. D: What is Duke wearing that helment for? Why does Storm Shadow carrying a gun?? What the hell happend to Cobra Commander?? Why does the Baroness NOT have a hawt euro accent?? No.... after the train wreck Star Trek movie, I just have a "Just say NO!" motto to stupid movie decisions.

Alcibiades- the actor who plays Snape is Hans Gruber, duh. :o


oh, or Alan Rickman I guess....

[Y-Hat]

Why would you want a sequel, exactly? I'm sure that was a semi-common sentiment among those that enjoyed Transformers, and its sequel was one of the most offensive things to hit the screen in some time.

[Zhukov]

Did anyone else notice that the last part of the movie was basically Star Wars, or is it just me?

[Hellzo]

I liked it other than the brainwashing of the baroness that just ruined the character.

[Travis touchdown]

i will steal this off the net as i refuse to pay for something that looks this bad.

[Angryhydralisk]

I heard a rumor somewhere the movie wasn't even screened.

[Protoclown]

It wasn't. I wasn't even allowed to watch it when I was there watching it.

[Dr. Boogie]

They let me see it, but only on the condition that I not pass judgment on any part of it.


Not even the part with the Wayans brother.

[Zhukov]

Am I the only one?! Come on!

Spoilers!

They had a titanic battle underneath Hoth between A wing shaped submarines that were trying to stop the death star/underwater base from shooting it's big laser. Dude even says as they are heading towards the enemy "Get into attack position!" = "Lock S Foils into attack position". !!! There is also plenty of good guy submarines that get shot and crash into the giant underwater base while screaming. Then, when Duke and Baroness are escaping they get attacked by enemy subs, so Baroness hops into the rotating laser gun built in the back and shoots them down. Duke says "Great shot!" = "Great shot kid that was one in a million". Also, when the place explodes their ship manages to shoot out from the explosion at the very last minute a la Millenium Falcon after it destroys the Death Star II. When Storm Shadow was fighting Snake Eyes he just HAS to pop his two swords together to create a DOUBLE SWORD like Darth freaking Maul. SERIOUSLY! Cobra Commander even has a 'gaze at my true face' moment like Darth Vader.

Spoilers in case I give away important Star Wars plot lines.

[DrewP]

That one scene was ironic as the actor who played Snake-eyes was Darth Maul...

But me and my friend said it best: That movie was much more fun than it ever ought to have been. It was a surprise.

Now to just wait for Inglorious Bastards.

[darkvare]

also when

Spoilers!

when storm shadow gets defeated he falls onto an electricity filled shaft

am i the only one who felt snake eyes looked and acted like a retard when he wasn't in action?

[Zhukov]

You are correct.

[Captain Seamus]

I want Hasbro to make a figure of Snake Eyes wearing that hoodie he had in the Pit.

The one thing that really got me was that Cobra Commander didn't drag out his S's. That's like half of his characterization! Aside from that, the movie was pretty good.

[RedCometXIII]

It was a actually way better than I thought it'd be. I went in with absolutely no expectations but left satisfied.

I prefer the Transformers movies though...