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  #1  
Wiffles Wiffles is offline
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Old Nov 11th, 2009, 05:03 PM        What do you do when solicitors visit your house?
By the hairs on my head, I swear. These types of visits are like SPAM in real life. Maybe roughly once a month on average, people visit my house to gather funds for their 'cause', or talk for 3 hours about God. Sometimes, Im like a captive audience. I just stand there and pretend Im listening to them and hope they go away. I cant just ask them to leave, its im-polite. Besides they might come back and burn my house o.o



What do you guys do when these types of people visit and how do you deal with them?
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  #2  
Kitsa Kitsa is offline
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Old Nov 11th, 2009, 05:12 PM       
I have a sign.

NO SOLICITING!
This includes:
religious visits,
door to door sales,
door to door nonprofits,
surveys & petitions.
Thank you!

Then it has a picture of a door to door missionary with one of those anti-symbols over it, just in case they're hard-of-reading.

What I was getting for a long time was people ignoring a simple "No Soliciting" sign, saying "Oh, we're not soliciting, we're just (keen on Jesus/ here to tell you about our lawncare service/ here to have you participate in a survey)." So I covered all my bases.

The neighborhood kids ignore the sign, but not much I can do about that.

When I lived in my old house, the Jehovah's Witnesses built a new Kingdom Hall down the street and that was pure unadulterated hell.
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  #3  
RaNkeri RaNkeri is offline
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Old Nov 11th, 2009, 05:17 PM       
I've been visited twice by Jehova's witnesses. They stopped coming after the second time when I bursted into laughter when I opened the door and saw them.


I felt bad later
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  #4  
Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Nov 11th, 2009, 05:25 PM       
OH COME ALL YE FAITHFUL!
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  #5  
darkvare darkvare is offline
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Old Nov 11th, 2009, 05:27 PM       
i open the door and if they start talking about something like selling or asking hand outs i just close the door
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  #6  
Dimnos Dimnos is offline
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Old Nov 11th, 2009, 05:29 PM       
Best way to get rid of religious people is to tell them you already are.
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  #7  
elx elx is offline
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Old Nov 11th, 2009, 05:40 PM       
oh wiffles! just say you're not allowed to talk to strangers
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  #8  
Wiffles Wiffles is offline
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Old Nov 11th, 2009, 06:06 PM       
Im not anti god or anything. Its just I cant talk about the guy for 3 hours while my cinnamon cookies burn in the oven x_x


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oh wiffles! just say you're not allowed to talk to strangers
That would have worked when I was 8. As an official adult, people might look at me weird >_>
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  #9  
stevetothepast stevetothepast is offline
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Old Nov 11th, 2009, 06:07 PM       
I just invite them in and then turn on tranny porn.
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  #10  
King Hadas King Hadas is offline
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Old Nov 11th, 2009, 06:08 PM       
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Originally Posted by Dimnos View Post
Best way to get rid of religious people is to tell them you already are.
I tried that on a Jehovah's witness once. He calmly took out a piece of bubblegum, put it in his mouth and then asked me some difficult questions.

"Oh? What church do you go to? Really? I go there as well, but I don't recall ever seeing you. Ah, I see, you don't go on Sundays. When do you go then? Are you sure about that date sir? I'm fairly certain that church does not open on that day, maybe you're confused. Oh, you actually go to a different church, is that right? And which church might that be? You're not sure? It's a fairly simple question, I don't see how you could be unsure. Unless, of course...you're a liar. Are you liar, sir? ANSWER THE QUESTION!"

I had to slam the door in order to save face.
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  #11  
Dimnos Dimnos is offline
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Old Nov 11th, 2009, 06:18 PM       
Damn I have never had that happen to me.

Im always. "Oh yes I am but thank you for stopping by. Keep up the good work." It helps to have dogs. That way there is somewhat of an urgency to close the door.
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  #12  
Kitsa Kitsa is offline
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Old Nov 11th, 2009, 08:02 PM       
I gave some Mormon missionaries some cans of decaf Coke once and wished them well. They left, but they left smiling.

I was younger and meeker then. Now I'm reclusive and hostile. To humans, anyway.
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  #13  
Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Nov 11th, 2009, 08:06 PM       
Shit, I don't like talking to people I like even.
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  #14  
executioneer executioneer is offline
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Old Nov 11th, 2009, 11:21 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by darkvare View Post
i open the door and if they start talking about something like selling or asking hand outs i just close the door
this is what i do. i also make a point of locking the deadbolt and turning off the porch light if it was on
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Sam Sam is offline
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Old Nov 12th, 2009, 01:09 AM       
i just peek out of the door and then slam it shut and make sure they can hear me turning the dead bolt

unless I'm drunk then I just lay on the couch and ignore them even though they can clearly see me through my door
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DevilWearsPrada DevilWearsPrada is offline
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Old Nov 12th, 2009, 01:17 AM       
I am immature and often have someone else answer the door when it's j-hoves so I can yell obscenities in full earshot of them in another room till they get offended and leave
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  #17  
Dimnos Dimnos is offline
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Old Nov 12th, 2009, 01:52 AM       
Back when I was in high school a navy recruiter stopped by my house and asked for me. I said I wasnt home but gave them a friends phone number, that I was said friend and that I was interested in joining up. They didnt stop calling him for over a year.
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Last edited by Dimnos : Nov 12th, 2009 at 12:57 PM.
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  #18  
george george is offline
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Old Nov 12th, 2009, 02:28 AM       
you just have to be firm.

I HAVE CINNAMON COOKIES IN THE FUCKING OVEN NOW PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.

YES I WILL TAKE A COPY OF THE WATCHTOWER.

NO I DONT WANT A SUBSCRIPTION TO HOME AND GARDEN.

NOW LEAVE.

if that doesnt work, well you should buy pepper spray.
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  #19  
Evil Robot Evil Robot is offline
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Old Nov 12th, 2009, 02:46 AM       
They don't ever come to my area because it scares them, but if they did I would turn the deck light on and off repeatedly until they get confused and leave.
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  #20  
Kitsa Kitsa is offline
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Old Nov 12th, 2009, 10:16 AM       
I got rid of a military recruiter on the phone in record time when I was a senior in high school. I wasn't lying, but it would work.

HIM: I was calling because you're about to graduate and I wanted to discuss with you a career in the (can't remember which branch).

ME: You take disabled people now?

HIM: Oh. Uh. No. I'm sorry. I....have a nice day. *click*



We also used to get telemarketing calls where I used to work, and boy does that get you on a do-not-call list fast.

THEM: I was calling about a warranty for your vehicle. Do you-

ME: Did you know this is a hospital emergency room?

THEM: Oh! Oh, uh, no. I'm really sorry. I'll...uh...we won't bother you again.
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  #21  
Dimnos Dimnos is offline
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Old Nov 12th, 2009, 11:29 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitsa View Post
We also used to get telemarketing calls where I used to work, and boy does that get you on a do-not-call list fast.

THEM: I was calling about a warranty for your vehicle. Do you-

ME: Did you know this is a hospital emergency room?

THEM: Oh! Oh, uh, no. I'm really sorry. I'll...uh...we won't bother you again.
Im so going to use that.
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Exactly. Life's too short to not be ejaculating as often as possible
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  #22  
Kitsa Kitsa is offline
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Old Nov 12th, 2009, 11:59 AM       
I answered the phone "Emergency Department" and they always kept going on their spiel, so I figured if they felt dumb they deserved it.
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  #23  
10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
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Old Nov 12th, 2009, 12:10 PM       
I tell them I have neither the time nor the care for them and to shove off.
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  #24  
LordSappington LordSappington is offline
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Old Nov 12th, 2009, 12:56 PM       
I threw firecrackers out the door once. I'm such a huge dick.
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  #25  
Zomboid Zomboid is offline
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Old Nov 12th, 2009, 12:59 PM       
Answer the door naked.
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That was very funny. Well done.
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